IC-NRLF 


DULCY 

A   COMEDY  IN   THREE  ACTS 

BY 
GEORGE  S.  KAUFMAN 

AND 

MARC  CONNELLY 

(With  a  Bow  to  Franklin  P.  Adams) 


INTRODUCTION 
BY 

BOOTH  TARKINGTON 


FRONTISPIECE  BY 
NEYSA   McMEIN 


G.  P.  PUTNAM'S  SONS 
NEW  YORK  AND  LONDON 

IRnicherbocfcer    press 

1921 


Copyright,  1921 

by 
George  S.  Kaufman 

and 
Marc  Connelly 

Made  in  the  United  States  of  America 


All  dramatic  rights  to  ZWc?/  are  controlled 
by  George  C.  Tyler,  New  Amsterdam  Theatre 
Building,  New  York  City.  It  may  not  be  acted, 
either  by  professional  or  amateur  companies, 
without  permission  and  the  payment  of  royalty. 


671189 


Produced  by  George  C.  Tyler  and  H.  H. 
Frazee,  at  the  Cort  Theatre,  Chicago,  Feb.  20, 
192 1 ,  with  the  following  cast : 

DULCINEA Lynn  Fontanne 

GORDON  SMITH,  her  Husband. ....  John  Westley 
WILLIAM  PARKER,  her  Brother .  .  .  Gregory  Kelly 

C.  ROGER  FORBES Walks  Clark 

MRS.  FORBES Constance  Pelissier 

ANGELA  FORBES Norma  Lee 

SCHUYLER  VAN  DYCK Gilbert  Douglas 

TOM  STERRETT,  Advertising  Engineer 

Elliott  Nugent 
VINCENT  LEACH,  Scenarist ....  Howard  Lindsay 

BLAIR  PATTERSON George  Alison 

HENRY Harry  Lillford 

Produced  at  the  Frazee  Theatre,  New  York, 
August  13,  1921,  with  the  same  cast. 


A   PROLOGUE 

ONE  day  the  finest  critic  in  England,  though 
not  the  best,  wrote  of  a  contemporary  comedy 
just  produced  upon  the  stage:  "There  was  a 
new  play  last  night,  which  succeeded  pro 
digiously  .  .  .  you  laugh  very  much,  yet  it  is 
a  wretched  comedy.  The  Muse  stoops  indeed; 
she  is  draggled  up  to  the  knees,  and  has  trudged, 
I  believe,  from  South wark  fair.  The  whole 
view  of  the  piece  is  low  humor,  and  no  humor  is 
in  it.  The  heroine  has  no  more  merit  than 
Lady  Bridget,  and  the  author's  wit  is  as  much 
manque  as  the  lady's,  but  some  of  the  characters 
are  well  acted.  ...  A  Comedy — no,  it  is  the 
lowest  of  all  farces.  It  is  not  the  subject  I  con 
demn,  though  very  vulgar,  but  the  execution. 
The  drift  tends  toward  no  moral,  no  edification 
of  any  kind.  The  situations,  however,  are  well 
imagined,  and  make  one  laugh  in  spite  of  the 
grossness  of  the  dialogue,  the  forced  witticisms 
and  total  improbability  of  the  whole  plan  and 
conduct.  But  what  disgusts  me  most  is,  that 
though  the  characters  are  very  low,  and  aim  at 
low  humor,  not  one  of  them  says  a  sentence 
that  is  natural  or  marks  any  character  at  all.  It 
is  set  up  in  opposition  to  sentimental  comedy 
and  is  as  bad  as  the  worst  of  them." 
vii 


A  PROLOGUE 

Here  is  a  familiar  ring;  no  playwright  who 
goes  often  to  New  York  will  find  the  tintin 
nabulation  altogether  strange  to  his  ear,  and  all 
of  our  playwrights  must  go  there  to  get  for  their 
work  an  opinion  that  the  rest  of  the  country 
will  later  mistake  for  its  own.  No,  the  Master 
of  Strawberry,  coming  to  Arlington  Street  in 
Town,  and  venturing  to  the  theatre  in  spite  of 
his  age,  high  taste  and  the  gout,  was  but  follow 
ing  an  everlasting  fashion  when  he  thus  sat  upon 
"that  silly  Dr.  Goldsmith"  and  the  Doctor's 
new  Comedy.  It  happened  to  be  ' '  She  Stoops 
to  Conquer,"  this  " lowest  of  all  farces,"  not  a 
Comedy  at  all,  according  to  Mr.  Walpole,  who 
died  only  some  twenty-four  or  twenty -five  years 
after  that  First  Night;  not  living  long  enough, 
of  course,  to  alter  his  unfavorable  opinion .  For 
if  there  be,  indeed,  any  everlasting  fashion,  it  is 
the  fashion  of  taking  a  slighting  view  of  a  con 
temporary  ; — a  fashion  even  more  indestructible 
than  the  other  fashion  complementary  to  it, 
which  is  the  fashion  of  taking  a  ponderously 
reverential  view  of  ancient  performers  no  longer 
rivals  to  the  unconsciously  jealous  living.  If 
"silly  Dr.  Goldsmith"  had  written  "She  Stoops 
to  Conquer"  seventy  years  sooner  than  he  did 
that  low  farce  might  have  borne  a  pleasanter 
flavor  to  Mr.  Walpole,  who  in  his  old  age  asked 
people  to  remember  that  he  had  "known  Pope 
and  lived  with  Gray."  He  liked  Gray  better, 
viii 


A  PROLOGUE 

and  had  a  much  higher  opinion  of  Gray's  work, 
when  Gray  was  dead. 

Approaching  our  point  with  leisurely  ef 
frontery,  we  have  spoken  of  ' '  She  Stoops  to 
Conquer,"  and  now  hasten  to  speak  of  * '  Dulcy  " 
in  the  same  breath.  The  latter  is  the  better 
comedy,  if  truer  is  better,  but  such  a  compari 
son,  taking  no  account  of  history,  is  obviously 
unfair  to  the  old  monument.  "She  Stoops  to 
Conquer"  opened  a  sparkling  vista  in  advance 
of  its  own  day ;  it  was  a  comedy  more  important 
for  its  day  than  "Dulcy"  is  for  ours;  but  let  us 
follow  Mr.  Walpole's  everlasting  precedent  no 
further  than  to  make  this  admission. 

A  third  perpetual  fashion,  since  we  have  men 
tioned  two,  is  the  fashion  of  believing  that  "the 
public's  taste  is  low,"  and  there  is  no  doubt 
that  this  fashion  is  sound  if  we  mean  really 
everybody  when  we  say  ' '  the  public ' '  and  if  we 
mean  choice  in  manifestations  of  art  when  we 
say  "taste."  The  men  who  control  the  "mov 
ing  picture  industry"  are  intelligent:  that  is  to 
say  they  ' '  know  their  business ' ' ;  they  know  it 
better  than  do  we  who  laugh  at  almost  all  of 
their  films  except  the  comic  ones ;  and  they  know 
the  taste  of  a  public  so  vast  as  to  be  at  least  a 
fifth  of  really  everybody.  They  have  tested 
that  taste  ingeniously  and  with  expensive 
thoroughness,  and,  being  neither  goats  of  sacri 
fice  nor  artist  swilling  to  starve  in  the  dark, 

ix 


A  PROLOGUE 

they  gorge  this  ascertained  taste  over  and  over 
endlessly,  with  the  unvarying  sickly  flow  of 
rancid  molasses  that  it  craves.  Every  now  and 
then  they  try  to  please  it  with  something  better, 
but  at  such  times  they  usually  hear  a  rebellious 
murmuring,  and  abandon  philanthropy. 

The  theatre  has  a  smaller  public,  of  course ;  a 
public  with  better  powers  of  selection.  In  the 
theatre  a  play  that  asks  for  intelligence  in  its 
audience  is  not  at  all  certain  to  fail,  though  it 
may  always  be  considered  something  of  a  ven 
ture,  and,  as  we  know,  it  will  never  compete  in 
money  profit  with  the  great  shows  of  women 
and  dancers  and  low-comedians.  Nor  must  we 
expect  it  to  "do"  as  well  on  "Broadway"  (and 
consequently,  it  appears,  in  Hartford  and  Cin 
cinnati)  as  the  plays  that  are  correctly  called 
"sensational  successes"  because  they  strike  at 
the  sensations  of  ordinary  audiences.  How 
ever,  the  "intelligent  play"  has  a  number  of 
pleasant  privileges:  there  is  an  audience  for  it 
if  the  two  (the  play  and  its  audience)  can  be 
somehow  got  together,  a  matter  of  more  diffi 
culty  than  might  be  guessed;  and  although 
this  audience,  being  the  best  of  publics,  is  com 
paratively  a  rather  small  one,  the  play  may  live 
with  some  show  of  bright  prosperity  for  as  much 
as  two  or  three  seasons  at  a  stretch,  and  after 
ward  be  produced  by  stock  companies  and 
amateurs  indefinitely:  it  may  be  "revived"; 


A  PROLOGUE 

and  it  may  be  printed  as  a  book.  At  the  best, 
it  has  even  a  chance  to  be  a  little  known  by 
another  generation. 

' '  Dulcy ' '  was  '  *  produced  for  the  first  time  on 
any  stage"  in  Indianapolis,  one  evening  in  the 
early  part  of  the  year  1921,  and  many  of  the 
audience  came  upon  invitation;  they  were 
people  fatigued  by  most  of  the  plays  they  had 
seen  during  several  years,  and  of  course  they 
were  doubtful  of  this  one  because  it  invited 
them.  Their  growing  animation  as  the  comedy 
began  to  glitter  before  them  was  enlivening  to 
see.  Here  was  a  play  that  dealt  in  ''charac 
ter";  it  outlined  and  colored,  with  the  gayest 
satiric  touch,  sketches  of  actual  beings  happily 
recognizable  as  human,  not  theatric;  and,  de 
pending  upon  only  one  or  two  of  the  slightest 
devices  of  "plot,"  and  upon  these  merely  for  a 
little  enhancing  of  gayety,  this  priceless  con 
trivance  went  on  developing  itself  into  the 
rarest  thing,  a  merriment  for  the  mind.  But, 
what  was  even  more  astonishing,  it  brought 
upon  the  stage  * '  types ' '  not  taken  from  other 
plays  or  from  novels :  it  enriched  the  stage  with 
unused  people. 

Among  my  acquaintances  is  a  coast  fish- 
dealer  who  "writes  movies."  By  preference 
he  writes  maritime  romances  about  village 
beauties  and  seafaring  fishermen;  and  as  he 
buys  his  fish  intimately  of  ocean  fishermen,  he 

xi 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

PAGE 

LYNN  FONTANNE        .         .          Frontispiece 
From  a  drawing  by  Neysa  McMein. 

"  IF  ANGELA  AND   MR.  LEACH  LIKE  EACH 
OTHER,  AND  IF  SHE  MARRIES  HIM—  '   .       34 

"SHERRY'S!  DELICIOUS!  MOLASSES!"  .       98 

"HE  CAN  EAT  BREAKFAST,  CAN'T  HE?"  .     178 

"ANGELA  A  MARRIED  WOMAN!  AND  WILLIE 
A  MARRIED  MAN!"  .         .         .     206 


Photographs  by  courtesy  of  White  Studio 


XV 


DULCY 

ACT  I 

The  scene  is  the  living-room  in  the  suburban 
home  of  DULCINEA  and  her  husband — in 
Westchester  County,  within  commuting  dis 
tance  of  New  York.  It  is  a  room  that  is 
splashing  rather  than  merely  striking.  The 
furniture,  for  no  particular  reason,  is  old 
Italian,  but  most  of  it  is  hidden  beneath 
beautiful  and  variously  colored  batiks  and 
drapes.  Over  the  divan,  for  example,  is  a 
golden  brocade,  and  on  it  three  blue  pillows. 
Across  the  grand  piano  is  a  red  drape,  and 
on  it  a  blue  book.  The  window  curtains  are 
also  of  blue;  there  are  two  or  three  striking 
lamps  in  the  background,  and  the  tinted 
walls  are  covered  here  and  there  by  a  couple  of 
good-looking  tapestries.  There  are  no  pic 
tures.  On  a  platform  at  the  rear,  where  the 
stairs  begin  to  ascend,  stands  a  great  blue 
urn,  filled  with  hydrangeas.  On  a  cabinet  at 
one  side  is  an  iridescent  bowl  containing  tea 
roses;  at  each  side  of  the  cabinet  stands  a  floor 
candlestick  of  Italian  design.  In  a  word,  the 
room  is  DULCY.  //  there  were  a  telephone 
DULCY  would  have  it  covered  with  a  cute  little 
doll — but  there  is  no  telephone. 

In  addition  to  the  stairs  there  are  three 
means  of  exit — at  the  rear  are  French  windows 
which  open  onto  the  lawn  and  DULCY'S 


DULCY 

cherished  garden;  at  the  right  is  a  door  that 
leads  to  the  interior  of  the  house,  and  at  the 
left  another  that  leads  to  the  hallway  and  the 
outer  door. 

The  time  is  five  o'clock  on  a  Friday  after 
noon  in  late  summer.  The  French  windows 
are  closed,  subduing  somewhat  the  light  in 
the  room.  The  rising  curtain  reveals  WIL 
LIAM  PARKER,  DULCY'S  brother,  stretched 
out  in  an  easy  chair,  reading  a  magazine. 
After  a  moment  HENRY,  the  butler,  enters. 
He  goes  up  to  the  windows,  opens  them,  and 
comes  back  to  BILL. 

HENRY. 

Mr.  Smith  has  just  come  in,  sir. 

BILL. 

[After  a  pause,  not  looking  up  from  his 
magazine.} 
Yeh? 

HENRY 
Yes,  sir. 

BILL 

[Suddenly  looking  up  from  his  magazine, 
stopping  Henry  as  he  reaches  the  door.] 
My  sister  with  him? 

HENRY. 

Oh,  no,  sir !    Mrs.  Smith  is  at  her  Friday  after 
noon  club,  over  at  Mrs.  Kennedy's. 
[Bill  returns  to  his  magazine.] 
[Henry  picks  up  a  magazine  from  the  floor 
and  replaces  it  on  the  table.] 

4 


DULCY 

BILL. 

[Getting  to  his  feet  and  handing  magazine 
back  to  Henry.] 
What  time's  dinner? 

HENRY. 

[Hesitate s.\ 
Seven-fifty,  sir. 

BILL. 
Seven-fifty?     My  God! 

HENRY. 

Yes,  sir. 

BILL. 
Oh — James ! 

HENRY. 
Henry,  sir. 

BILL. 

Henry  ? 

HENRY. 
[Going  to  Bill.] 
Yes,  sir. 

BILL. 

Henry.  (He  pauses.)  Who  else  is  coming  to 
this — week-end?  I  mean,  besides  Mr.  Forbes, 
and — ah — his  wife  and  daughter? 

HENRY. 

I'm  not  certain,  sir.  I've  rooms  ready  for  a 
number,  sirfc 

5 


DULCY 

BILL. 

M'm.     Well- 

[Enter  GORDON  SMITH,  DULCINEA'S  hus 
band.  He  is  an  alert  young  business  man, 
with  worry  just  beginning  to  set  on  his 
shoulders.] 

GORDON. 

[As  he  enters.} 
Good  evening,  Bill.    You're  early. 

HENRY. 

[Turning  away  from  BILL.] 
Yes,  sir. 

BILL. 
Hello,  Gordon. 

[BILL  goes  upstage  and  lights  a  cigarette. 
HENRY  exits;  GORDON'S  eyes  follow  him 
cs  he  goes  out.] 

GORDON 

[Looks  around,  yawns,  stretches.] 
Been  here  long  ? 

BILL. 

Oh,  not  so  very.    It  was  sort  of  dull  in  town. 
so  I  thought  I'd  come  out  early. 

GORDON. 
Of  course — glad  you  did. 

|//<*  takes  another  moment  to  stretch.  : 
drops  into  sofa.] 
Tired  tonight. 

6 


DULCY 

BILL. 

[Observing  a  folded  newspaper  in  GOR 
DON'S  pocket  as  he  sits] 
What's  that— the  Sun? 

GORDON. 
No— Post. 

[He  hands  him  the  paper — BILL  drops 
into  a  chair  with  it.     There  is  a  considerable 
pause  while  Bill  reads  and  GORDON  in 
dulges  in  another  yawn.] 
Dulcy  not  home  yot,  huh? 

BILL. 

[Reading  the  paper  at  the  same  time.} 
No.     She's — across  the  street — some  place. 
Mrs.  Kennedy's,  I  think. 

GORDON. 
Oh ,  yes .    It's  a — Friday  afternoon  thingmajig. 

BILL. 

[Still  with  the  paper] 
M'm. 

GORDON. 

[Another  pause;    Smith  musters  up  some 
energy] 

Well!     How's  business5 

BILL. 

[Puts  down  the  paper  and  looks  at  him] 
What:5 


DULCY 

GORDON. 
I  say,  how's  business? 

BILL. 

[As  though  announcing  a  death.} 
Haven't  you  heard? 

GORDON. 

[A  bit  cheerily.] 

Oh,  I  don't  know — I  have  an  idea  it  may  be 
picking  up  presently. 

BILL. 

[Tapping  the  newspaper.] 
You've    been    reading    Mr.     Schwab.     (He 
quotes.)     "Steel  Man  Sees  Era  of  Prosperity." 

GORDON. 
Well— I  think  he's  right  at  that. 

BILL. 
Yes. 

[A  pause.] 

Rockefeller  expects  to  break  even  this  year, 
too. 

GORDON. 
Just  the  same,  I  look  for  an  improvement. 

[Earnestly.] 

Bill,  if  it  could  just  be  arranged  that  all  the 
outstanding  accounts  could  be  absorbed  by  the 
banks,  and  then  turn  those  into  accounts 
payable 

8 


DULCY 

BILL. 
[Interrupting.] 

I  know.  You  mean — things  would  be  better 
if  we  weren't  all  broke. 

GORDON 

That's  one  of  the  things  that  holds  us  back- 
pessimism. 

BILL. 

How's  the  artificial  jewelry  business  ?    If  any  ? 

GORDON. 
Well,  it's — looking  up  a  bit. 

BILL. 

Anything  new  on  Forbes'  merger? 

GORDON 

It's  coming  along.  It's  practically  settled,  I 
think,  that  I'm  to  go  in  with  him. 

BILL. 

That's  great.  I  hadn't  said  anything,  but  I 
rather  felt  that  you  were  up  against  it,  when  I 
saw  you  last  week. 

GORDON. 
Thanks,  old  man.     I — was,  a  bit. 

BILL. 

You'll  be  all  right  if  this  deal  goes  through? 

GORDON. 

I  think  so.  It  will  end  this  fighting  among  us 
smaller  men. 


DULCY 

BILL. 

How  many  of  you  are  going  into  this  pool? 

GORDON. 

About  half  the  trade.  I'm  to  get  sixteen  and 
two-thirds  per  cent  of  the  stock  of  the  combine. 

BILL. 

Just  for  the  factory? 

GORDON. 

[Unwillingly.] 
Well,  the  plant  and  the  pearl  formula. 

BILL. 
Oh,  I  see. 

GORDON. 

[Justifying  himself.] 

Of  course,  that  means  a  cash  payment  when 
the  papers  are  signed,  and  that  will  just  about 
see  me  through. 

BILL. 

You  think  that's  enough — sixteen  and  two- 
thirds  ?  Those  pearls  of  yours  are  pretty  good, 
you  know,  even  if  they  are  imitations. 

GORDON. 

I  know — but  I'm  up  against  it.  I've  got  to 
take  what  he  gives  me,  or  have  that  crowd  to 
fight.  Forbes  is  a  tough  customer. 

BILL. 
That's  hard  luck. 

10 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

[Doubtfully.] 

Of  course,  I  may  be  able  to  do  something  with 
him  over  the  week-end. 

BILL. 
Huh? 

GORDON. 
He's  coming  out  here,  you  know. 

BILL. 
So  I  understand. 

GORDON. 

[Looks  at  his  watch.] 
They're  driving  up  from  town. 

BILL. 

Uh-huh.     (Thoughtfully.)     Bringing  his  wife 
and — daughter,  too,  isn't  he? 

GORDON. 

Yes.    They're  going  to  stay  over  Sunday. 

BILL. 
I  didn't  know  you  knew  them  that  well. 

GORDON. 

Well,  I  don't — except  Forbes — in  a  business 
way.     (He  pauses.)     I  wasn't  keen  for  it. 

BILL. 
Well,  then— 

ii 


DULCY 

GORDON. 
[Rises.] 

Well,  Dulcy  thought  it  would  be  nice  to  have 
them  out  here,  and — well 

BILL. 

[As  GORDON  pauses.] 
Yes,  I  know. 

[There  is  a  pause.] 
Does  he  play  Russian  bank? 

[Henry  enters  with  the  afternoon  p&pers, 
which  he  puts  on  the  table.  GORDON  watches 
him  narrowly,  and  believes  that  he  detects 
HENRY  looking  furtively  at  him.  Henry 
exits  again] 

GORDON. 

[Paying  no  attention  to  Bill's  question.] 
Did  you  notice  that? 

BILL 
What? 

GORDON. 
The  way  he  looked  at  me. 

BILL. 

[Lightly.] 
Henry? 

GORDON. 
Didn't  Dulcy  tell  you? 

BILL. 
She's  over  at  Mrs.  Kennedy 's. 

12 


DULCY 

GORDON 

Well — he's  an  escaped  convict! 

BILL. 

[Rises.] 
He's— what? 

GORDON. 

No — I  don't  think  that's  just  what  I  mean. 
It's  a — suspended  sentence.  Dulcy  got  him  off 
by — you  know.  Promised  to  take  care  of  him, 
and  give  him  work,  and 

BILL. 

What's  his  line? 

GORDON. 
He's  a — butler. 

BILL. 

What  was  his  line  ? 

GORDON. 

Oh !     He — wrote  a  little  check  or  something. 

BILL. 
And  the  judge  turned  him  over  to  Dulcy? 

GORDON. 

After  she  made  about  twenty  trips  to  town, 
and  exhausted  the  judge,  and  used  up  about  a 
hundred  dollars'  worth  of  my  lawyer,  and 

BILL 
She  does  things  right. 

13 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

Oh,  well,  I  suppose  it's  all  right.  After  all, 
there  was  some  doubt  about  him.  Dulcy  went 
to  see  his  wife  and  family,  and — she  felt  pretty 

badly  over  it 

[Door  bell  rings.] 

GORDON. 
Here  they  are ! 

BILL. 

TheForbeses? 

GORDON. 
Yes. 

BILL. 

Better  send  them  over  to  Mrs.  Kennedy's,  so 
that  Dulcy  can  receive  them. 

GORDON. 

Darn  it ! — the  man  coming  here,  with  a  busi 
ness  deal  on.  I  don't  like  it ! 

[Enter  HENRY.] 
It  looks  too  much  as  if  I  were  trying  to 

BILL. 
Oh,  I  don't  know. 

[HENRY  crosses  behind  GORDON  and  below 
BILL,  and  exits,  closing  door  behind  him. 
BILL  watches  him  off.] 
Are  you  always  sure  he's  coming  back? 

GORDON. 
I  don't  like  mixing  business  with  social  affairs. 


DULCY 

BILL. 

[Solemnly.] 
Why  don't  you  make  Dulcy  lay  off? 

GORDON. 
Why  don't  I?     How  can  I? 

BILL. 

[After  considering  it.] 
I  never  thought  of  that. 
[Enter  HENRY.] 

HENRY. 
It's  a  Mr.  - 

[Enter  TOM  STERRETT,  a  very  much  alive 
young  man.  He  is  the  kind  of  man  who  pulls 
weights  in  his  bedroom  every  morning,  and 
who  feels  that  a  vigorous  good  health  is  the  first 
aid  toward  business  success.  His  business 
is  advertising.  He  could  tell  you  hun 
dreds  of  interesting  facts  about  type  psy 
chology,  direct  sales  drives  and  national 
conferences;  and  would,  if  you  gave  him 
half  a  chance.  He  believes  in  Presence  and 
knows  he  has  it.) 

STERRETT. 

[Brushing    past    Henry    with    an    Open, 
Sesame!  smile.} 
I  beg  your  pardon!    I'm  Mr.  Sterrett! 

BILL. 

[First  looking  at  Gordon  to  see  if  he  knows 
him;  sees  he  does  not.] 
That's  fine. 

15 


DULCY 

GORDON. 
You're  looking  for — Smiths? 

[HENRY  closes  the  door,  crosses,  and  exits.] 

STERRETT. 

Yes,  sir.     I'm  expected  to  meet  Mr.  Forbes 
here.    Your  man  says 

GORDON. 

[A  bit  more  cordial.] 

Oh!    Mr.    Forbes   hasn't   arrived   yet — I'm 
expecting  him  very  soon. 
[Extending  hand.} 
I  am  Mr.  Smith. 

STERRETT. 

[Inflicting  a  brisk  hand-shake.} 
Smith  Pearls? 

GORDON. 

Ah — yes. 

STERRETT. 
I  follow  your  campaigns.    Your  advertising. 

GORDON. 
This  is  Mr.  Parker,  my  brother-in-law. 

STERRETT. 
How  are  you,  sir! 

[Shaking  his  hand  vigorously.} 
Didn't  I  meet  you  at  the  A.  C.  A.  Conven 
tion  ? — in  Detroit  last  summer  ? 

16 


DULCY 

[Renewing  the  hand-shake  with  the  ex 
planation.] 
Advertising  Clubs  of  America  ? 

BILL. 

[Returning  the  shake  with  interest.] 
I'm  afraid  not. 

STERRETT. 

[Very  quickly.] 
Sorry,  my  mistake. 

BILL. 

[Adopting  Sterrett's  snappy  style.] 
It's  all  right !     Have  a  cigarette ! 
[He  whips  out  case.] 

STERRETT. 

[Accepting  one  and  glancing  at  it.] 
Ah!     C&G!    Thanks! 

[Takes  chair,  sits  and  lights  cigarette.] 

GORDON. 

[Knowingly  saying  the  unnecessary.] 
Won't  you — wait? 

STERRETT. 

Surely.  Mr.  Forbes  left  word  at  his  office 
for  me  to  meet  him  here.  It's  about  some  con 
tracts  that  have  to  be 

GORDON. 

[Somewhat  more  cordially.] 
Oh,  I  see.    You're  in  the  Forbes  organization  ? 
17 


DULCY 

STERRETT. 

[With  a  trace  of  reproof.} 
Oh,  no!     I  handle  Mr.  Forbes'  advertising. 
S.  S.  Q.  &  L.  Agency. 

BILL. 
[Airily.} 
Oh,  theS.  S.  U.  &L! 

STERRETT. 
[Correcting  him} 

S.  S.  Q.  &  L.     Simpson,  Simpson,  Querrida 
and  Lawford. 

BILL. 

That's  fine. 

STERRETT. 

[Hitching  his  chair  towards  Smith} 
Have  you  followed  our  Forbes  copy,   Mr. 
Smith? 

GORDON. 
Well — to  a  degree — yes. 

STERRETT. 

[A    bit    disappointed    in    GORDON.     To 
BILL.] 
You're  interested  in  advertising,  Mr.  Parker? 

BILL. 
I  buy  the  Saturday  Evening  Post. 

STERRETT. 

But  speaking  generally  of  the.other  media — 
18 


DULCY 

BILL. 

I'm  afraid  I  don't  know  much  about  advertis 
ing.    In  fact  I've  never  been  in  Detroit. 

STERRETT. 

[Answering  without  thinking.} 
Well,  that's  too  bad. 

[Realizing  he  hasn't  understood.} 
Huh? 

[Thinking  he  understands.} 
Oh,  yes— great  town!    Town  that's  made  it 
self  through  advertising ! 

[He  consults  watch.} 
What  time  do  you  expect — ah — Mr.  

GORDON. 

Mr.    Forbes   and   his   family   will   be   here 
presently. 

STERRETT. 
Oh,  is  Mr.  Forbes'  family  coming? 

GORDON. 
Yes,  they're  going  to  spend  the  week-end. 

STERRETT. 
Mr.  and  Mrs.  Forbes? 

GORDON. 

Yes. 

STERRETT. 
And  Miss  Forbes? 

19 


DULCY 

GORDON. 
Yes. 

BILL. 

Are  you  a  friend  of  the — family's? 

STERRETT. 
Oh,  yes!     (A  pause.)     Yes,  indeed! 

BILL. 

[Giving  GORDON  a  significant  look.] 
H'm. 

STERRETT. 

What  was  that? 

BILL. 
I  didn't  say  anything. 

STERRETT. 
Oh,  beg  pardon,  I'm  sure. 

GORDON. 
Well— ah- 

[He  is  saying  what  seems  to  be  expected  of 
him.] 
You  must  stay  for  dinner,  Mr.  Sterrett. 

STERRETT. 
Many  thanks.    If  I  won't  be 

GORDON. 
[A  bit  curtly.] 
That's  splendid. 

20 


DULCY 

BILL. 

Yes — that's  fine.  We  generally  need  one 
more  for  Dulcy's  parlor  games,  don't  we? 

STERRETT. 
Now,  I  want  to  be  sure  I'm  not  intruding. 

GORDON. 

Not  at  all.  We're  only  too  glad  to  have  you. 
[DULCINEA  enters  through  the  French  win 
dow.  She  is  dressed  in  a  gown  that  is  just 
a  bit  too  much  for  an  afternoon  gathering;  she 
carries  an  armful  of  flowers,  and  she  is  in 
her  customary  bubbling  good  humor.] 

DULCY. 
Hello,  everybody! 

BILL. 
Hello,  Dulcy. 

DULCY. 

M'm!  It's  nice  and  cool  in  here,  isn't  it? 
You  know,  if  there  is  any  breeze  going  at  all, 
we  get  it  in  this  room.  Don't  we,  Gordon, 
darling? 

[She  kisses  him.] 

Did  you  have  a  good  day  at  the  office  ?     Send 
for  Henry  to  fix  these,  will  you? 
[She  indicates  the  flowers.] 
Aren't  they  pretty — right  out  of  my  own 
garden.] 

[BILL,  who  has  gone  around  the  piano, 
comes  down  to  her.] 

21 


DULCY 

Hello,  Willie. 

[Kisses  him.] 
Whom  have  you  been  doing  ?     Eh  ? 

[She  laughs  loudly  at  her  own  joke.} 

GORDON. 
Dulcy,  this  is  Mr.  Sterrett.    My  wife. 

DULCY. 
Oh,  how  do  you  do? 

[Shaking  hands  somewhat  appraisingly.] 

STERRETT. 

[With  great  assurance.] 
How  do  you  do ! 

DULCY. 

[Trying  to  estimate  STERRETT'S  position 
in  the  scheme  of  things.] 

Have  you  been  over  the  grounds?    Gordon, 
you  must  show  Mr.  Sterrett  over  the  grounds. 

GORDON. 
Mr.  Sterrett  is  a  friend  of  the  Forbeses. 

DULCY. 

[As  this  explains  STERRETT  to  her.] 
Oh,  the  Forbeses — really!    Oh,  that  is  nice! 

[Then  with  a  bit  of  panic.] 
Have  they  come?     Where  are  they?     Why 
didn't  you  tell  me! 

[She  rushes  up  toward  staircase,  then  to 
ward  windows.] 
Upstairs  or  in  the  garden  or  where 

22 


DULCY 

BILL. 

[Holding  up  his  hand.} 
Now — wait. 

DULCY. 

[Coming  to  Bill.] 

But  what  are  they  going  to  think?     My  not 
being  here — how  rude — why,  if  they 

BILL. 

Now,  wait — wait! 

[She  finally  pauses.] 
The  Forbeses  are  not  here. 

DULCY. 

Well,  why  didn't  you  tell  me  so  in  the  first 
place?     After  all,  Willie,  I'm  not  a  mind  reader. 

GORDON. 

Mr.  Sterrett  has  come  to  see  Mr.  Forbes  on  a 
matter  of  business, 

BILL. 
And  since  he  is  also  a  friend  of  Miss  Forbes 

GORDON. 
I've  invited  him  to  stay  for  dinner. 

DULCY. 

[None    too    pleased,    particularly    about 
STERRETT 's  being  a  friend  of  Angela's.] 
Oh!    So,  you're  a  friend  of  Angela's — that's 
lovely!    Yes,  you  must  stay! 

23 


DULCY 

[HENRY  enters  and  stands  awaiting  in 
structions.] 

Just  take  pot  luck  with  us,  Mr.  Sterrett. 
I  always  say  that  anyone  can  drop  in — I  think 
that's  the  nicest  kind  of  a  household,  don't  you? 

STERRETT. 

Why,  yes.  You  know,  I  have  a  dear  old 
aunt 

DULCY. 

[Not  waiting  to  hear.] 

Oh,  Henry,  get  some  vases  for  these  flowers- 
then  I'll  arrange  them.  I  think  arranging  flow 
ers  is  quite  a  knack,  don't  you,  Mr.  Sterrett? 
Some  people  can  do  it,  and  others  can't,  you 
know  .  .  .  it's  just  like  an  ear  for  music. 
Either  you  have  it,  or  you  haven't  it,  and  there 
you  are! 

BILL. 

Mr.  Sterrett  is  in  the  advertising  business — 
not  the  music  business. 

STERRETT. 

Oh,  but  what  she  says  is  very  true — very  true, 
indeed.  But  as  I  was  saying.  This  dear  old 

aunt  of  mine — I — ah — she 

[DULCY  is  giving  the  flowers  to  HENRY  and 
pays  no  attention.] 

[STERRETT  fails   to   make   an   audience 
either  of  SMITH  or  BILL.] 
I — ah — suppose  I  wait  in  the  next  room  for 
Mr.  Forbes? 

24 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Of  course.  Henry,  show  Mr.  Sterrett  into  the 
library.  There  are  some  lovely  books  there. 
My  books  are  my  best  friends,  Mr.  Sterrett. 

STERRETT. 
Thank  you. 
[Exits.] 

DULCY. 

Henry,  fix  up  the  little  green  room  for  to 
night.  Fix  it  nicely. 

HENRY. 

Yes,  ma'am. 

[He  follows  STERRETT  off.] 

GORDON. 
He's  not  going  to  stay  tonight ! 

DULCY. 

[Has  picked  up  an  evening  paper,  and 
is  already  absorbed  in  it] 
No,  darling,  but  someone  else  is. 

BILL. 

Still  another? 

DULCY. 

(With  the  paper.)  Oh,  what  do  you  think? 
Mrs.  Harper  was  acquitted !  I  always  say,  if  a 
woman  is  good  looking,  no  jury  on  earth  will 
convict  her. 

25 


DULCY 

GORDON. 
Dulcy,  never  mind  that.    Who  else  is  coming  ? 

DULCY. 

[Immersed  in  paper.} 

"A  demonstration  that  lasted  fifteen  min 
utes  greeted  the  acquittal  of  Mrs.  " 

GORDON. 
Dulcy! 

DULCY. 

[Slowly,  as  she  scans  the  article.] 
I  just  want  to  see  what  she  wore. 

GORDON. 
Dulcy,  listen  to  me ! 

DULCY. 
Well,  dear? 

GORDON. 
Who  else  is  coming? 

DULCY. 

[Putting  paper  down.] 
You'll  never  guess. 

GORDON. 
[Tiredly.] 
I'm  sure  I've  no  idea,  Dulcy. 

DULCY. 
[Going  to  him.] 
Schuyler  Van  Dyck ! 
26 


DULCY 

BILL. 

Schuyler  Van  Dyck ! 

DULCY. 

One  of  the  Van  Dycks,  and  he's  worth  mil 
lions  ! 

GORDON. 
Schuyler  Van  Dyck's  coming  here! 

DULCY. 

Yes — isn't  it  wonderful!  He's  a  marvelous 
man,  and  you  ought  to  hear  him  play  the  piano. 
You'd  never  think  he  was  a  Van  Dyck — he's  so 
democratic. 

BILL. 
Where  the  devil  did  you  meet  him? 

DULCY. 

Oh,  several  places,  and  this  afternoon  he  was 
at  Mrs.  Kennedy's  and  played  for  us.  He  had  a 
lot  of  invitations,  and  he  accepted  mine. 

[DuLCY  returns  to  table  and  replaces 
newspaper  neatly,  then  gives  the  sofa  cush 
ions  a  touch.  GORDON  follows  her,  speaking 
as  he  goes.] 

GORDON. 

But,  my  dear,  having  this  man  here  with 
Forbes — how  do  we  know  it's  going  to— 

DULCY.  x 

Oh,  but  it  will — Mr.  Van  Dyck's  a  business 
man  too,  darling.  He  owns  all  kinds  of  things— 

27 


DULCY 

railroads — railroads — I  think — some  of  them 
are.  He'll  help  entertain  Mr.  Forbes  with 
them. 

GORDON. 

But  Forbes  isn't  the  kind  of  man  that  wants 
to  be  entertained.    That's  just  it! 

DULCY. 

[Going  to  him.] 
Darling,  leave  Mr.  Forbes  to  me. 

[Puts  arms  around  him.] 
I've  got  a  real  surprise  for  you! 

GORDON. 

Another  one? 

DULCY. 

A  wonderful  one !    Just  for  you ! 

BILL. 

One  thing  that  Dulcy  never  learned  is  the 
difference  between  a  surprise  and  a  shock. 

[Enter  HENRY,  leaving  the  door  open,  with 
a  bowl  and  a  vase  of  flowers,  which  he  places 
on  table.] 

DULCY. 
You  shut  up,  Willie. 

GORDON. 

But  what  is  it  ?     Has  it  got  to  do  with  Forbes  ? 
28 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Yes,  darling,  and  it's  something  that's  going 
to  help  you  a  great  deal  with  Mr.  Forbes. 

[BILL  goes  solemnly  to  GORDON  and  shakes 
his  hand.] 

BILL. 

Sometimes  I  think  our  family  must  have 
adopted  Dulcy. 
[Exit.] 

DULCY. 

Oh,  Henry !    There'll  be  two  more  for  dinner. 

HENRY. 

Yes,  ma'am. 

DULCY. 

That  makes — nine,  doesn't  it? 

HENRY. 
Yes,  ma'am. 

[Exit  HENRY  upstairs.] 

DULCY. 

I   love   a    big    table,    don't   you,    Gordon? 
There's  something  so  hospitable  about  it. 

[She  is  looking  around  for  the  spots  at 
which  to  place  the  flowers.] 

GORDON. 

Nine?     Then  there's  still  another  coming — 
besides  Van  Dyck? 

29 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

[With  the  air  of  someone  revealing  a  great 
secret.] 

Yes! 

GORDON. 

What    are    you    trying    to    do — solve    the 
housing  problem  ? 

DULCY. 

[Picking  up  vase  of  flowers.] 
Just  wait,  darling!    You'll  be  so  excited! 

[Breaking    the    big    news    over    SMITH'S 
shoulder.] 
Vincent — is  coming! 

GORDON. 
[At  sea.] 
Vincent  ? 

DULCY. 

Yes.    Isn't  it  wonderful? 

[Crossing  to  piano  with  vase  of  flowers.] 
That  looks  pretty,  doesn't  it? 

GORDON. 
[Trying  to  recall] 
Vincent — Vincent — who  the  devil  is  Vincent? 

DULCY. 

[Indicating  the  bowl.] 

Or  do  you  think  this  one  ought  to  go  over 
there  and  that  one  here? 

30 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

[Annoyed.] 
I  don't  know.     Who  is  this  man? 

DULCY. 

[Going  down  and  leaning  over  Smith's 
shoulder.] 

Well,  you  don't  need  to  get  angry  at  me, 
darling,  just  because  I  want  to  make  the  place 
look  nice. 

GORDON. 

I'm  not  angry — but — 

DULCY. 

I'm  doing  it  for  you,  darling.  You  know, 
with  Mr.  Forbes  coming 

GORDON. 
I  know,  but — tell  me  about  this  man 


DULCY. 

Vincent  Leach?  Don't  you  remember?  You 
and  I  met  him  at  Mrs.  Peabody's  last  week— 
you  know,  the  big  scenario  writer. 

GORDON. 

[Faintly  recalling.] 
Oh,  yes.    Is  he  coming  here? 

DULCY. 

Yes!     Isn't  it  wonderful? 

[Picks  up  the  bowl  from  the  table  and 
starts  toward  piano  with  it.] 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

But  look  here  now — Dulcy,  will  you  leave 
those  flowers  alone,  and  come  here  and  talk  to 
me? 

DULCY. 

Just  a  minute,  darling. 

[She  replaces  the  vase  on  the  piano  with 
the  bowl,  then  takes  the  vase  back  and  places 
it  on  the  table.] 

A  time  and  a  place  for  everything.     There! 
[She  seats  herself  on  his  lap.] 

GORDON. 

But,  dear,  why  do  you  want  to  mix  this  man 
Leach  up  with  Forbes?  Van  Dyck  may  be  all 

right,  but — 

DULCY. 

Ah!    That's  the  secret! 

GORDON. 

But  I  don't  like — secrets.  This  isn't  a — 
game. 

DULCY. 

Promise  you  won't  tell!     Cross  your  heart! 

GORDON. 
Yes,  yes. 

DULCY. 

Well,  then — Vincent  and  Angela 

[Kisses  him.] 
— like  each  other. 

32 


DULCY 

GORDON. 
You  mean — Forbes'  daughter? 

DULCY. 
[Nodding.] 

Isn't  it  wonderful?  So  I  invited  them  both 
here  so  they'll  have  the  whole  week-end  to 
gether.  And  at  the  same  time  he  can  meet  her 
parents.  You  never  can  tell  what  will  happen. 

GORDON. 

But,  Dulcy,  dear,  you  don't  know  Angela  so 
well,  and — this  man  Leach — what  do  you  know 
about  him? 

DULCY. 

I  know  all  about  him.  He's  a  big  scenario 
writer,  and  just  the  man  for  Angie.  He's — he's 
so  practical,  and  she's  a  dreamer.  Opposites 
should  marry — you  know  that,  darling. 

GORDON. 
But,  Dulcy,  now 

DULCY. 

And  what  else  do  you  think?  I'm  going  to 
get  him  to  help  me  with  some  of  my  scenarios 
while  he's  here. 

GORDON. 

But  why,  dear ? 

DULCY. 
To  make  them  better. 

3  33 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

No,  no — I  mean — why  are  you  trying  to 
match  this  fellow  Leach  with  Angela  ?  What  do 
you  care  about  it? 

DULCY. 
Don't  you  see? 

GORDON. 
No. 

DULCY. 
Can't  you  guess? 

GORDON. 
No. 

DULCY. 

Well,  if  Angie  likes  Mr.  Leach,  and  marries 
him 

GORDON. 
Yes? 

DULCY. 
And  /  fix  it— 

GORDON. 
Well? 

DULCY. 

Well — I'm  your  wife 

[GORDON  springs  up  in  alarm,  dropping 
DULCY  off  his  lap\ 

34 


DULCY: 


IF  ANGELA   AND    MR.    LEACH     LIKE    EACH    OTHER,    AND    IF   SHE 
MARRIES    HIM "  —  (Act  1) 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

Now,  Dulcy  dear— 

DULCY. 

That  will  make  Mr.  Forbes  so  grateful  that 
he'll  have  to  give  you  more  than  sixteen  and 
two-thirds  of  the  percentage. 

GORDON. 
Good  heavens,  Dulcy !     Now 

DULCY. 

[Ecstatically.] 
I  figured  it  all  out  myself ! 

GORDON. 

But,  now  wait ! 

[He  paces  the  floor.] 

DULCY. 

Gordon,  darling — don't  be  upset  about  it. 
I  know  they  ought  to  marry — I  just  know  it. 
It's  a  woman's  intuition.     (A  pause.)     Just  as 
I  knew  I  ought  to  marry  you,  dear. 
[GORDON  stops.] 

It  was  because  I  loved  you,  darling,  and 
wanted  to  help  you,  and — and 

GORDON. 

[Going  to  her  and  embracing  her.] 
Yes,  and  you  do  help  me. 

DULCY. 

Well,  then 

35 


DULCY 

GORDON. 
[Tenderly.] 

And  you're  not  sorry  that  you  married  me, 
instead  of  Arthur,  with  all  those  millions  ? 

DULCY. 

You're  going  to  have  millions,  too,  dear — at 
least  thousands.    And  I  loved  you — not  Arthur. 
[She  buries  her  head  on  his  shoulder.] 

GORDON. 
Dulcy,  dear. 

[He  kisses  her  neck.] 

DULCY. 

And  I'd  love  you  if  you  didn't  have  a  cent, 
and — and  stand  by  you,  and  help  you.  You  do 
want  me  to  help  you,  don't  you? 

GORDON. 

[Reluctantly.] 
Why — I — ah — yes — ah 


DULCY. 

Well  then,  let  me! 

GORDON. 

But  you  don't  understand,  dear.    Try  to  see 
my  position. 

DULCY. 

But  I  do  see  it.    You  need  Mr.  Forbes'  help 
and  I'm  going  to  get  it  for  you. 

36 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

I  need  it  in  a  business  way.  And  as  it's  only 
in  a  business  way,  I  feel  that  I  ought  to  handle 
it  alone — in  office  hours.  Don't  you  see  ? 

DULCY. 

[Turning  away  on  the  verge  of  tears.] 
I  feel  almost  as  if  I  were  being — exiled. 

GORDON. 

[Embracing  her.} 

Well,  you  mustn't — you  aren't  being  exiled. 
Just  realize  that  in  this  particular  affair  you're 
my  silent  partner,  and  a  very  important  one, 
too.  Don't  you  know,  dear,  if  it  weren't  for 
you  I  couldn't  go  to  town  day  after  day  and 
fight!  There! — you're  really  helping  me  all  the 
time,  by  just  being  you. 

[He  steps  back  from  her.} 

Furthermore,  don't  you  remember  that  you 
promised  me  that  you'd  let  me  manage  my  own 
business  matters  ? 

DULCY. 

When? 

GORDON. 

Three  months  ago  ?  When  we  came  back  from 
our  honeymoon  ? 

DULCY. 
Why,  I  never  did. 

37 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

The  time  that  you  practically  discharged  my 
secretary  ? 

DULCY. 

[Remembering.  ] 
Oh! 

GORDON. 

You  thought  Shepherd  was  dishonest  simply 
because  he  wore  a  heavy  black  moustache. 

DULCY. 

Oh,  Gordon,  darling,  I  know  I've  done  some 
silly  things,  but  when  I  married  you,  dearest, 
I  did  promise  to  stand  beside  you  all  my  life 
and  love  you  and  help  you,  and  that's  what  I 
think  I  ought  to  do  now.  That's  why  I'm 
doing  it. 

GORDON. 
But,  Dulcy 

DULCY. 

Well,  Mr.  Forbes  is  taking  advantage  of  you 
and  I'm  not  going  to  let  him — that's  all! 

GORDON. 
[Desperately.] 

But  that  isn't  the  point.  In  the  position  that 
I  am  I  have  to  go  ahead  with  it.  I  wouldn't 
want  anything  to  happen. 

[Pleading  affectionately.] 

Don't  you  see,  dear,  if  I'm  not  in  that  merger, 
I'll  lose — everything! 

38 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

But  only  sixteen  and  two-thirds  per  cent — 
it's  such  a  funny  number,  too.    I  don't  see  why 
you   couldn't   get   a   nice   even   number — like 
twenty-five.    (She  pauses.)     Or  fifty! 
[BILL  enters.] 

BILL. 
Well,  has  she  fixed  it? 

DULCY. 

We've  been  all  through  it  quietly,  Willie,  and 
it's  settled. 

GORDON. 
Now,  Dulcy,  you  must  listen. 

DULCY. 

Now — now — not  another  word.  Just  let- 
let — sleeping  dogs  lie  and  everything  is  bound 
to  come  out  all  right.  It  always  does. 

[DULCY  turns  up  stage.] 
Oh,  here's  Mr.  Van  Dyck! 

[Rushing  to  the  window.] 

Come  right  in  this  way,  Mr.  Van  Dyck! 
That's  right — here  you  are ! 

[SCHUYLER    VAN    DYCK    enters  through 

window.    He  is  aristocratic  and  well-dressed. 

He  has  a  bag  of  golf -clubs  over  his  left  shoulder 

and  is  carrying  a  suitcase.] 

Well,  you  found  the  way,  didn't  you — you're 

like  me — you've  got  a  bump  of  location.    Henry 

39 


DULCY 

will  take  your  things — where's  Henry? — Willie, 
send  for  Henry !    My,  this  is  lovely ! 

[BILL  pulls  bell  cord.] 

So  glad  to  see  you  in  our  own  little  nest,  Mr. 
Van  Dyck. 

[VAN  DYCK  has  put  his  suitcase  and  golf- 
bag  down.  DULCINEA  leads  him  down  to 
SMITH.] 

This  is  my  husband,  Mr.  Van  Dyck.  Mr. 
Van  Dyck,  Gordon,  that  I've  been  telling  you  so 
much  about. 

[,4s  an  after -thought.] 
And  my  brother,  Willie. 

[HENRY  comes  down  stairs.] 

VAN  DYCK. 

[As  he  shakes  Smith's  hand] 
Mr.  Smith,  how  do  you  do,  sir? 

GORDON. 
I'm  very  pleased  to  know  you,  Mr.  Van  Dyck. 

DULCY. 

[Turning  up  to  Henry.] 

Henry,  take  Mr.  Van  Dyck's  things.  So  glad 
you  brought  your  golf  clubs.  We'll  see  that  you 
use  them. 

[BILL  has  circled  around  the  table  and 
comes  down  to  Mr.  VAN  DYCK  and  ojfers 
hand.] 

BILL. 

My  name  is  Parker. 

40 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 
I'm  delighted,  Mr.  Parker. 

[BILL  retires  again.} 
I'm  very  much  afraid  that  I'm  intruding. 

GORDON. 

Why,  not  at  all. 

DULCY. 

Intruding !     I  should  say  not ! 

[HENRY  has  picked  up  the  bags  and  is 
awaiting  VAN  DYCK  on  the  platform.] 

VAN  DYCK. 

Mrs.  Smith  was  so — so  very  gracious  as  to 
ask  me  to  be  your  guest.  May  I — accept  with  a 
proviso  ? 

GORDON. 

Why,  certainly. 

VAN  DYCK. 

It  is  barely  possible  that  some  business 
matters  will  call  me  back  to  town.  In  that 
event— 

[He  smiles  his  rare  smile.] 
I  hope  you  will  pardon  me. 

DULCY. 

Of  course !  We  all  understand  business  here. 
Don't  we,  Gordon,  darling?  Business  before 
pleasure ! 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 
You're  very  good. 

DULCY. 

Henry,  show  Mr.  Van  Dyck  to  his  room. 
Henry  will  show  you,  Mr.  Van  Dyck. 

VAN  DYCK. 

Thank  you — if  I  may.     I  shall  rejoin  you 
presently. 

DULCY. 

[Calling  to  him  as  he  is  going  off.] 
Dinner  at  eight-twenty ! 

BILL. 

Eight-twenty?     Have  you  been  reading  Van 
ity  Fair  again? 

DULCY. 

Everybody    dines    at    eight-twenty,    Willie. 
It's  continental. 

[DULCY  turns  to  her  husband.] 

Well,  how  do  you  like  Mr.  Van  Dyck?     Nice, 
isn't  he? 

GORDON. 
He's  all  right,  I  guess. 

DULCY. 

Wait  till  you  hear  him  play  the  piano.     A 
lovely  touch,  and  so  soulful. 

42 


DULCY 

BILL. 
Don't  forget  to  ask  him  to  play. 

[HENRY  comes  down  the  steps.    GORDON 
turns  up  into  windows.} 

DULCY. 

[Going  to  BILL  and  sitting  beside  him.] 
Dear,  no — right  after  dinner.    We're  going  to 
have  a  nice  musical  evening.     Music  after  eat 
ing  helps  digestion.     All  the  new  doctors  say 
so. 

[HENRY  exits.     BILL  looks  after  him  un 
comfortably.] 

BILL. 

Dulcy! 

DULCY. 

Well,  Willie? 

BILL. 

When  you  took  this  butler  out  of  Sing  Sing — 

DULCY. 
[Rising.] 

Sing  Sing?     He  wasn't  in  Sing  Sing! 

BILL. 

You  didn't  go  way  out  to  Leavenworth,  did 
you? 

DULCY. 

Now,  I  know  just  what  you're  going  to  say, 
but  it  isn't  true.    Just  because  Henry  made  one 

43 


DULCY 

false  step  doesn't  mean  he's  going  to  make 
another.  If  you  ask  me,  I  think  there's  enough 
sorrow  in  the  world  without  trying  to  make 
things  worse.  Every  cloud  has  a  silver  lining, 
and — so  has  Henry. 

BILL. 
Yes.    The  question  is,  how  did  he  get  it  ? 

DULCY. 

It  doesn't  matter  in  the  least — he's  all  right 
now.  He  promised  me.  Besides,  he  has  to 
report  to  the  probation  officer  every  week,  and 
tell  him  everything  he  does. 

BILL 
Oh,  he  has  to  tell  him  everything? 

DULCY. 

Every  week. 

BILL. 
You  don't  think  he  has  any — secrets? 

DULCY. 

You  must  be  more  tolerant,  Willie.  You 
know,  there's  so  much  good  in  the  best  of  us — 
and  so  much  bad  in  the  worst  of  us — well,  it 
ill  behooves  the  best  of  us — 

[She  flounders,  but  is  saved  by  the  door  bell.] 

GORDON. 
Here  are  the  Forbeses ! 

44 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Wait,  Gqrdon — let  that  poor  Henffy  answer. 
The  trouble  with  the  world,  Willie,  is  that  it 
doesn't  give  the  under-dog  a  chance.    Live  and 
let  live — is  my  motto. 
[Enter  HENRY.] 

BILL. 
I  surrender.    (A  pause.)    Oh,  Dulcy! 

[Exit  HENRY  on  the  other  side.] 
Why  don't  you  raise  his  salary? 

DULCY. 
I  have. 

GORDON. 

Now  remember,  Dulcy,  just  leave  Forbes  to 
me- — and — don't  forget  this  is  a  very  important 
business  matter — 

DULCY. 

Now,  don't  worry,  darling.  Worrying  is  the 
very  worst  thing  you  can  do — everybody  says 
so.  I  was  reading  where  Dr.  Crane  said  in  the 
Globe  the  other  day — by  worrying  you  can 
catch  things. 

[HENRY  opens  the  door.  The  voices  of  the 
FORBESES  are  heard;  they  enter.  First,  MR. 
FORBES — then  MRS.  FORBES — then  ANGELA. 
The  greetings  are  ad  lib.  Dulcy  shakes  hands 
with  each,  passing  them  to  GORDON,  who 
does  likewise.] 

45 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Well,  here  is  Mr.  Forbes  now,  and  Mrs. 
Forbes!  How  charming  you  look!  And 
Angela ! !  You've  come  to  see  me  at  last !  My, 
such  red  cheeks !  Just  like  two  ripe  apples ! 

[FORBES  is  already  deep  in  business  talk 
with  SMITH,  but  DULCY  turns  to  him  blithely] 

Mr.  Forbes 

[FORBES  turns  to  her.] 

Did  you  have  a  nice  ride  out  from  the  city? 
Awfully  pretty,  isn't  it — Westchester? 

[FORBES  agrees  with  a  nod — is  about  to 
turn  back  to  SMITH.] 

Did  you  come  out  the  short  way  or  the  long 
way? 

FORBES. 

[//  is  already  evident  that  Dulcy  is  going 
to  be  just  the  person  for  him] 
Ah — what  was  that  ? 

DULCY. 

Did  you  come  out  the  short  way  or  the  long 
way? 

FORBES. 

Ah — let  me  see.  (A  pause.)  Do  you  know, 
Eleanor? 

MRS.  FORBES. 

[His  second  wife;  a  very  feminine  person 
of  about  thirty-five;  good  looking  and  a  bit 
flighty] 
What,  dear? 

46 


DULCY 

FORBES. 
Mrs.  Smith  was  just  asking  if- 


DULCY. 

Did  you  come  out  the  short  way  or  the  long 
way? 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Which  is  the  way  through  Hartsdale? 

DULCY. 

Oh,  that's  the  short  way — you  should  have 
come  the  long  way.  No,  I  think  that  is  the 
long  way,  isn't  it?  Hartsdale? — Yes.  No — — 

GORDON. 

[Diplomatically .  ] 
Well,  it  doesn't  really  matter. 

DULCY. 

No,  no — both  ways  are  awfully  pretty. 

[She  has  said  this  to  MRS.  FORBES,  and 
FORBES  and  SMITH  have  turned  immediately 
to  each  other  to  renew  their  conversation. 
They  haven't  a  chance.] 

Though  I  don't  suppose  you  got  much  chance 
to  look  at  the  scenery,  did  you,  Mr.  Forbes- 
driving  the  car?  Don't  you  think  driving  is 
awfully  hard  work,  Mr.  Forbes  ? 

FORBES. 
Why,  no,  I  rather  like  it. 

47 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Like  it?    Really!    Oh!    Well,   it   wouldn't 
do  if  all  our  tastes  were  alike,  would  it  ? 

[Turns  away  just  as  Henry  enters.] 
Henry,  take  the  things  right  up — you  know 
the  rooms. 

[DULCY  turns  up  to  MRS.  FORBES.] 
Mrs.  Forbes,  you  and  your  husband  are  to 
have  the  shell-pink  suite.     It  looks  just  like  a 
bridal  suite. 

[MRS.  FORBES  giggles  and  DULCY  laughs 
with  her.] 
The  bridal  suite!     Oh,  Mr.  Forbes— 

[She  goes  down  to  him.] 

Mr.  Forbes — you  and  your  wife  are  going  to 
have  the  bridal  suite ! 

[FORBES  tries  to  understand  the  joke,  but 
without  success.] 

And,  Angie Oh,  there  you  are!     I  forgot 

you  and  Willie  were  old  friends.       Naughty, 
naughty ! 

[HENRY  is  on  the  stairs  with  the  bags.] 
Well,  how  is  little  Angie !     My,  what  a  pretty 
necklace!     It's  new,  isn't  it?     Pearls,  too! 
[This  registers  with  HENRY.] 

ANGELA. 

Father  gave  it  to  me  for  my  birthday. 

DULCY. 

Your  father.     Really — wasn't  that  sweet  of 
him? 

48 


DULCY 

[To  FORBES.] 
Your  own  manufacture? 

FORBES. 
Oh,  no! 

DULCY. 

Real  pearls!     Angela,  fancy  your  having  a, 
string  of  real  pearls !    Isn't  that  wonderful ! 

[Remembers  HENRY'S  presence.} 
Take  the  bags  right  up,  Henry. 

BILL. 
Yes,  Henry. 

[Exit  HENRY  upstairs.) 

DULCY. 

Angie  is  going  to  have  the  cutest  little  room 
of  all.  Just  wait  till  you  see  it ! 

ANGELA. 
Oh,  thank  you. 

[VAN  DYCK  comes  downstairs.} 

DULCY. 

[Turning  Angela  up  stage  as  if  for  a  con 
fidence.} 

And  wait  till  you  see  what  else  I  have  for  you ! 
You'll  be  surprised,  and — oh,  here's  Mr.  Van 
Dyck! 

[In  her  element.} 
Mrs.  Forbes,  Mr.  Van  Dyck! 

MRS.  FORBES. 
How  do  you  do  ? 
4  49 


DULCY 

DULCY. 


And  Miss  Forbes- 


VAN  DYCK. 
\Bowing.] 
Miss  Forbes ! 

[ANGELA  bows.] 

DULCY. 

And  Mr.  Forbes — Mr.  Schuyler  Van  Dyck  of 
New  York. 

VAN  DYCK. 
C.  Roger  Forbes? 

FORBES. 

I'm  certainly  glad  to  know  you,  Mr.  Van 
Dyck.  I  believe  I  know  something  of  your 
interests.  In  fact,  I  just  missed  meeting  you 
at  the  International  Metals  conference  last 
week. 

VAN  DYCK. 

Yes  ?  Well,  I  hope  we  can  have  a  little  chance 
to  talk  down  here.  I'm  very  much  interested  in 
jewelry. 

DULCY. 

[With  a  triumphant  look  at  her  husband.] 
You  see,  Gordon? 

FORBES. 

[Aware  that  something  is  going  on.] 
What's  that? 

50 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

Oh,  it  was  just — ah — that  is,   Mrs.   Smith 
thought— 

[HENRY  comes  downstairs.] 

DULCY. 

Oh,    we're   all   forgetting    Mr. — What's-his- 
name — in  the  library — a  gentleman  to  see  you, 
Mr.    Forbes,    on   business.      Henry,    tell    the 
gentleman  in  the  library  to  come  in. 
[Exit  HENRY.] 

GORDON. 
It's  your  advertising  man. 

FORBES. 

Oh,  yes — Sterrett. 

[ANGELA  turns  sharply  at  the  mention  of 
the  name.] 

I  took  the  liberty  of  leaving  word  for  him  to 
come  here — I  had  to  get  away  early. 

GORDON. 

Why,  certainly. 

DULCY. 

And  so  that  you'll  have  lots  of  time  to  talk 
business,  I've  invited  him  to  stay  for  dinner. 

[She  looks  proudly  toward  her  husband  as 
though  asking  approbation  for  this  remark. 
GORDON  is  pleased  with  her  for  the  first 
time. 


DULCY 

ANGELA. 

Oh ;     Mr.  Sterrett  is  going  to  stay  for  dinner  ? 

DULCY. 

Yes — because  he's  a  friend  of  yours,  Angie, 
dear. 

[Quickly.] 

And  because  of  the  business,  of  course.  Well 
what  do  you  girls  say  ?  Shall  we  leave  the  men 
to  talk  business ?  Wouldn't  you  like  to  see  your 
rooms  ?  You  haven't  been  over  the  house  at  all, 
you  know. 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Why,  we'd  love  to. 

DULCY. 

Gordon,  darling,  you  must  show  Mr.  Forbes 
and  the  others  over  the  grounds. 

[She  is  shepherding  MRS.  F.  and  ANGELA 
toward  the  stairs.] 

You  get  a  beautiful  view  from  the  lawn,  Mr. 
Forbes.  And  don't  forget  to  show  him  the 
garden,  darling — all  our  vegetables  are  out  of 
our  own  garden,  Mr.  Forbes.  Then  later  you 
must  see  the  garden,  Mrs.  Forbes — and  Angie. 
You  know,  there's  nothing  like  country  life,  is 
there?  Out  next  to  Nature,  you  know.  We're 
just  gypsies — regular  gypsies.  New  York  is  a 
wonderful  place  to  visit,  but  I  wouldn't  like  to 
live  there. 

[They  exeunt  upstairs.] 
52 


DULCY 

BILL. 

[Breaking  the  spell.] 
All  in  favor  of  the  garden,  say,  "Aye." 

GORDON. 

Smoke  ? 

FORBES. 
Thanks. 

[He  selects  a  cigar.] 

VAN  DYCK. 
Thank  you. 

[Takes  a  cigarette.] 

[FORBES,  after  a  glance  around  the  room, 
heads  for  a  stiff  chair.] 

GORDON. 

[Indicating  an  easy  chair.] 
Oh,  sit  here,  Mr.  Forbes. 

FORBES. 

Thanks — I  prefer  a  stiff  chair — my  back,  you 
know. 

[Enter  STERRETT.] 

STERRETT. 
Ah!     Good  afternoon,  Chief. 

FORBES. 

Hello,  Sterrett.    Too  bad  to  make  you  come 
way  out  here,  but — 

53 


DULCY 

STERRETT. 

Not  at  all — not  at  all!  Particularly,  as  Mr. 
Smith  has  insisted  on  my  staying  to  dinner. 
Has  Angela  come  ? 

FORBES. 

[Patting  him  on  back.] 

Oh,  yes,  she's  come.  You've  met  Mr.  Par 
ker? 

STERRETT. 
Oh,  yes. 

FORBES. 
And  Mr.  Schuyler  Van  Dyck? 

STERRETT. 
Mr.  Schuyler  Van  Dyck? 

VAN  DYCK. 
[Shaking  his  hand.] 
Mr.  Sterrett. 

STERRETT. 
I've  heard  of  you,  Mr.  Van  Dyck. 

VAN  DYCK. 
Yes? 

STERRETT. 
[Crisply.] 

Yes,  sir.  They  tell  me  you  have  advertising 
interests,  on  the  q.  t. 

54 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 
Well,  it's — it's  possible,  yes. 

STERRETT. 
I'm  an  advertising  man  myself. 

VAN  DYCK. 
Really? 

BILL. 

Yes— S.  S.  Q.  &  L.  Agency. 

STERRETT. 

Yes,  I  personally  handle  all  of  Mr.  Forbes' 
business. 

VAN  DYCK. 
That  so? 

STERRETT. 

Yes,  sir.  I've  made  the  nation  Forbes- 
conscious. 

BILL. 

Forbes — what  ? 

STERRETT. 

Forbes-conscious.  I  have  made  Forbes 
Jewelry  Products  a  part  of  the  country's  buying 
habit. 

FORBES. 

It's  wonderful — wonderful  what  the  younger 
generation  is  doing  in  a  business  way. 

55 


DULCY 

GORDON. 
It  certainly  is. 

FORBES. 

Why,  when  I  was  breaking  into  business,  sir, 
do  you  think  that  a  young  man  like  that  would 
have  been  entrusted  with  the  handling  of  such 
important  matters? 

GORDON. 

No,  sir. 

FORBES. 

No,  sir — he  would  not!  Would  he,  Mr. 
Parker? 

BILL. 

[With  a  look  at  STERRETT.] 
No,  sir,  he  would  not ! 

FORBES. 

But  to-day,  not  only  is  he  entrusted  with 
them,  but  he  is  actually  given  the  preference 
over  an  older  man.  I  find  myself  doing  it. 

STERRETT. 

Oh,  I  don't  know,  Chief.  I'm  no  unusual 
specimen.  That  is,  so  far  as  my  youth  is  con 
cerned.  Mozart  was  composing  at  fifteen; 
William  Cullen  Bryant  wrote  Thanatopsis 
when  he  was  nineteen;  Homer  did  part  of  the 
Iliad 

BILL. 

[Rising] 
Suppose  we  all  go  out  and  look  at  the  garden  ? 

56 


DULCY 

SMITH. 
Yes,  that's  a  good  idea. 

FORBES. 

If  you  don't  mind,  I'll  put  my  car  in  your 
garage. 

GORDON. 

Certainly. 

FORBES. 

That  is,  if  there's  room. 

GORDON. 

Oh,  plenty.     Our  car  isn't  here  at  present. 
It's  being  repaired. 

BILL. 

[To  VAN  DYCK.] 

You  must  find  it  rather  a  relief  to  get  away 
from  business  occasionally. 

VAN  DYCK. 
Yes,  just  to  relax.    It's  very  wonderful. 

FORBES. 

[Turning  back  to  VAN  DYCK.] 
I  imagine  you've  been  kept  pretty  well  tied 
down  lately. 

[All  except  STERRETT  have  strolled  up  to 
the  window] 

VAN  DYCK. 

Well,  yes — to  a  degree.     Of  course,  I  have 
things  pretty  well  systematized. 

57 


DULCY 

FORBES. 
Of  course. 

SMITH. 

Now,  right  here  at  the  left  is  where  the  garden 


begins.    You  can  see  for  yourself- 

[Exeunt  through  windows — SMITH,  FORBES, 
VAN  DYCK  and  BILL.] 

[STERRETT,  somewhat  puzzled  at  losing  his 
audience,  decides  to  go  along.  ANGELA 
comes  down  stairway.} 

ANGELA. 

[Very  impersonally.] 
Oh,  hello,  Tom! 

STERRETT. 
Angela!     I'm  here,  you  see. 

ANGELA. 

[Selecting  a  magazine.] 
Yes.  I  see. 

STERRETT. 
Well,  aren't  you  glad  to  see  me? 

ANGELA. 
You  came  to  see  father,  didn't  you? 

STERRETT. 
Why,  no — that  is — yes — but 

ANGELA. 
Have  you  seen  him? 

58 


DULCY 

STERRETT. 
Yes,  but — that  was  business  and- 


ANGELA. 

I  know — it's  always  business  with  you  men. 
You're  all  alike. 

STERRETT. 

You  talk  as  though  you'd  examined  the  whole 
city. 

ANGELA. 

Well,  I  did  know  another  man  who  was  just 
like  you. 

STERRETT. 
Who  is  he? 

ANGELA. 

[Looking  up  from  magazine  for  first  time.] 

Oh,  don't  be  silly.    I  shouldn't  tell  you  even 

if  you  weren't  so  rude.     I  simply  say  you  are  all 

alike.     Your  idea  of  romance  is  to  sit  in  the 

moonlight  and  talk  about  the  income  tax. 

STERRETT. 
[Sitting  beside  her.} 

Now,  look  here,  Angela.  You  know  I'm  crazy 
about  you,  and  I've  told  you  what  I'll  do  for 
you.  I'll  devote  my  entire  life  to  you. 

ANGELA. 

And  give  up  business? 

59 


DULCY 

STERRETT. 

[Swallows.] 

Well,  you  wouldn't  want  me  to  give  it  up, 
would  you?  Right  at  the  beginning  of  my 
career !  Why,  when  you  father  signs  these  new 
contracts 

ANGELA. 

[Throwing  magazine  down  beside  her  and 
rising.] 

Contracts!  Bother  the  contracts!  It's  al 
ways  contracts ! 

STERRETT. 

[Rising.] 
But  they  mean  our  future. 

ANGELA. 

[Turning.] 

Our  future?  I  didn't  know  that  we  were 
going  to  have  any ! 

STERRETT. 

Well,  we  are!  You  just  watch  me!  I've 
always  got  what  I  was  after  in  business,  and 

ANGELA. 
Well,  I'm  not — business. 

STERRETT. 
I — I  didn't  mean  just  that,  Angela. 

ANGELA. 

Oh,  sometimes  I  feel  that  I  don't  ever  want  to 
talk  to  another  business  man  in  my  life ! 

60 


DULCY 

STERRETT. 

I  notice  that  you  don't  mind  talking  to  a 
moving  picture  man,  though! 

ANGELA 
[Wheeling.] 

What  do  you  mean  by  that? 

STERRETT. 

I  saw  you  with  that  bird  Leach  at  the  Bilt- 
more  yesterday. 

ANGELA. 

Well,  what  of  it.    Mr.  Leach  is  a  very  charm 
ing  man. 

STERRETT. 
He's  got  a  swelled  head. 

ANGELA. 
He's  entitled  to  one. 

STERRETT. 
Look  here — has  he  been  making  love  to  you  ? 

ANGELA. 

Well,  at  least  he  hasn't  been  talking  business. 
[She  turns  away.] 

STERRETT. 
Now  look  here,  Angela — 

ANGELA. 

Oh,  Tom,  don't  be  silly !    If  I  didn't  know  any 
more  about  girls  than  you  do,  I'd  go  some  place 

61 


DULCY 

and  learn!  That  other  man  talked  business, 
too,  and  that's  why  I — what  does  a  girl  care 
about  business,  and  things  like  that  ?  She  wants 
something  else  in  her  life — that's  what  makes 
her  a  girl.  She  wants  romance — and  a  thrill — 
and  something  real — and  she  wants  a  man  to  be 
like  all  the  heroes  she  ever  read  about — if  she 
cares  about  him  at  all !  It  may  be  foolish  and 
all  that,  but  that's  what  she  wants  and  she's 
bound  to  have  it !  She  wants  someone  to  tell  her 
how  wonderful  she  is — whether  she  is  or  not — 
to  sweep  her  off  her  feet  and — carry  her  away — 
and— 

[One  look  at  SterreW s  face  tells  her  that  all 
this  has  been  wasted] 
Oh,  I'm  going  out  into  the  garden! 

[Exit  through  French  window.    STERRETT 
follows.] 

STERRETT. 

Now  look  here,  Angela!    I  didn't  mean 

[Enter  FORBES  and  SMITH.    FORBES  looks 
back  after  ANGELA  and  STERRETT.] 

FORBES. 
Smart  chap,  Sterrett. 

GORDON. 
Yes,  he — seems  to  be. 

FORBES. 

Wide-awake!    That's  what  I  like  about  him. 
62 


DULCY 

GORDON. 
[Eager  to  agree.] 

Yes,  wide-awake  chaps  certainly  have  an 
advantage. 

FORBES. 
[Bluffly.] 

Now,  that's  the  kind  of  a  man  I'd  like  for  a 
son-in-law. 

GORDON. 
(Mindful  of  DULCY'S  plans.)     Son-in-law? 

FORBES. 
Yes. 

GORDON. 

Sterrett? 

FORBES. 

Yes.  Good  business  head.  No  foolishness, 
like  most  young  people.  Substantial — that's 
what  I  mean.  Lord  knows,  Smith,  I'm  just 
as  tolerant  as  anybody,  and  a  little  bit  more  so, 
but  if  there  is  one  thing  I  can't  stand  it's  this 
frivol -headed,  gad-about  way  of  doing  things 
they've  got  now-a-days. 

GORDON. 

Oh,  absolutely.     Yes,  indeed. 

FORBES. 

Damn  it — they — they  play  with  life — they 
don't  work.  And  it's  not  just  the  young  people 

63 


DULCY 

that  have  notions.    The  worst  of  it  is  that — oh, 
well,  what's  the  use! 
[He  pauses.] 

That  reminds  me.    I  must  apologize  for  not 
answering  that  letter  of  yours.    My  wife  comes 
into  my  office  occasionally  and  uses  my  steno 
grapher — the  one  that  writes  English. 
\He  tries  to  appear  half-joking.] 

All  day  yesterday.  She  likes  to  write  little 
stories  and  movie  scenarios.  Of  course  she 
never  sells  them. 

SMITH. 

Well — ah — probably  she's  just — seeking  self- 
expression. 

FORBES. 

Yes,  I  suppose  so.  She's  quite  young — 
Angela's  step-mother,  you  know. 

[DULCY  and  MRS.  FORBES  come  down 
stairs.] 

DULCY. 

Come  right  down,  Mrs.  Forbes.  Well,  here 
we  are!  No  more  business  now!  It's  time  to 
play ! 

\To    FORBES.] 

You  know  one  thing  poor  Gordon  has  never 
learned  is  how  to  play.  He  takes  everything 
so  seriously.  Now,  what  I  like  to  do  is  cut  loose 
once  in  a  while — just  be  children  again.  Don't 
you,  Mrs.  Forbes? 

MRS.  FORBES. 

Yes,  indeed — away  from  everything. 
64 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Gordon,  darling — why  don't  you  take  Mrs. 
Forbes  for  a  stroll  out  in  the  garden  before 
dinner — she  hasn't  seen  it  yet. 

[GORDON  realizes  this  would  leave  DULCY 
with  FORBES.] 

Wouldn't  you  like  to  see  it,  Mrs.  Forbes? 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Indeed,  yes. 

DULCY. 

Gordon. 

SMITH. 

[Turning  up  to  MRS.  FORBES.] 
Why,  of  course. 

MRS.  FORBES. 

It's  awfully  good  of  you.  You  have  a  beauti 
ful  place  here.  There  are  some  lovely  places 
in  Westchester,  aren't  there? 

[Exeunt  MRS.  FORBES  and  SMITH  thru 
the  window,  SMITH  looking  back  nervously 
at  the  possibilities  he  is  leaving.} 

DULCY. 

I've  got  the  most  wonderful  day  planned  out 
for  you  tomorrow,  Mr.  Forbes.  You're  going 
to  play  and  play  and  play ! 

FORBES. 
[Alarmed.] 
Me !     Thank  you  very  much — but  you  know 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Oh,  but  you  play  golf,  don't  you? 

FORBES. 

Well — ah — thank  you.  It's  been  so  long 
since 

DULCY. 

\Pursuing  him.] 
You'll  love  our  links — they're  wonderful ! 

FORBES. 

Yes,  but  I've  been  having  a  lot  of  trouble 
with  my  back  lately  and 

DULCY. 

Oh,  really !  That's  too  bad !  What  you  need 
is  exercise.  It  would  be  the  finest  thing  in  the 
world  for  you.  Now,  you  play  nine  holes  of 
golf  with  Mr.  Van  Dyck  first  thing  in  the 
morning. 

FORBES. 
But,  really,  Mrs.  Smith 


DULCY. 

[Indulgently.] 

You  remind  me  so  much  of  Gordon — that 
poor  darling.  You  know  he  gets  hardly  any 
exercise  at  all — he  works  so  hard,  the  poor  boy. 
I  don't  suppose  he's  told  you,  Mr.  Forbes,  but 
he's  really  got  a  lot  of  things  on  hand. 

FORBES. 

Why,  no 

66 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

You  might  just  as  well  know — it  isn't  only 
the  pearl  business.  He  has  lots  of  other  inter 
ests,  too. 

FORBES. 
What's  that? 

DULCY. 

It's  really  asking  too  much  of  him  to  make 
him  give  up  all  these  other  things  to  come  into 
the  jewelry  combination — that  is,  unless  it 
were  made  worth  his  while. 

[DULCY  effects  her  master  stroke.] 
Of  course,  if  he  just  got  sixteen  and  two-thirds 
per  cent,  he  couldn't  afford  to  give  up  all  his 
time  to  it — no ! 

[Enter  through  windows — VAN  DYCK  and 
BILL.] 

He'd  have  to  look  after  his  other  things,  too, 
and  you'd  be  the  loser. 

FORBES. 

Why,  I  didn't  know  he  had  any  other — 
[Door  bell  rings.] 

DULCY. 

Oh,  there's  Mr.  Leach  now! 

[Calling.] 
Gordon,    Gordon,    bring    Angela    in! 

(She  sees  VAN  DYCK.) 

Are  you  having  a  nice  time,  Mr.  Van  Dyck? 
We  want  everybody  to  have  a  nice  time. 

[Enter  SMITH  and  MRS.  FORBES.] 

[Enter  HENRY.     He  crosses  and  exits.] 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 
Oh,  delightful! 

DULCY. 

You're  to  play   18  holes  of  golf  with  Mr. 
Forbes  the  first  thing  in  the  morning. 
[FORBES  is  delighted.] 

VAN  DYCK. 
That  will  be  splendid ! 

GORDON. 
Now — now,  I  have  a  suggestion. 

DULCY. 

Well,  what  is  it? 

SMITH. 
Suppose  that  tomorrow  we  just  let  everybody 

go  the  way  they  want  to,  and 

[Enter    HENRY,    followed    by    VINCENT 
LEACH.] 

[DULCY  swings  down  to  greet  him.] 

DULCY. 

[With  great  enthusiasm.] 
Oh,  here  he  is ! 

LEACH. 

Mrs.  Smith,  dear  lady- 


[VINCENT  LEACH  is  young,  very  languid, 
a  bit  effeminate.] 

68 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Ladies  and  gentlemen,  this  is  Mr.  Vincent 
Leach,  the  great  scenario  writer! 

[FORBES  looks  up,  puzzled  and  annoyed. 
BILL  is  merely  puzzled.  VAN  DYCK  is 
politely  interested.  SMITH  is  all  but  crazy 
with  apprehension.  MRS.  FORBES  is  quite 
in  her  element.  DULCY  passes  LEACH  over 
towards  MRS.  FORBES.] 
Mrs.  Forbes,  Angela's  step-mother. 

LEACH. 

[Enthusiastically.] 
Oh,  how  do  you  do ! 

DULCY. 
And  Mr.  Forbes,  her  real  father. 

[FORBES  rises  slowly — his  dislike  has  been 
immediate  and  intense.    LEACH  does  all  the 
bowing.} 
And  Mr.  Van  Dyck. 

[They  bow.] 

You've  met  Gordon,  haven't  you? 
[LEACH  shakes  SMITH'S  hand.] 
And  my  brother,  Willie. 

BILL. 

Parker — William . 

DULCY. 

[ANGELA  and  STERRETT  appear  in  windows] 
Oh,  here  she  is!    Well— 

[She  leads  ANGELA  down  to  LEACH.] 
69 


DULCY 

ANGELA. 
Why,  Mr.  Leach! 

LEACH. 
Miss  Forbes ! 

STERRETT. 

[With  cold  emphasis.] 
How  do  you  do,  Leach  ? 

LEACH. 

Oh,  how  are  you? 

DULCY. 

Didn't  I  tell  you  I'd  have  a  surprise  for  you? 

FORBES. 

[To  ANGELA,  as  she  stands  with  her  hand 
still  in  LEACH'S,  to  STERRETT 's  great  annoy 
ance.] 
Oh,  then  you've  met  Mr.  Leach  before? 

ANGELA. 
Oh,  yes. 

DULCY. 

Why,  didn't  you  know  about  it?  Mr.  Leach 
showed  us  through  his  studio  the  other  day. 
He  almost  kidnapped  your  Angela,  and  made 
a  motion  picture  star  out  of  her. 

FORBES. 

[Not  quite  succeeding  in  being  pleasant 
about  it] 
Oh,  is  that  so? 

70 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

We  saw  his  new  picture  being  taken.     Oh, 
tell  us  about  it,  Mr.  Leach! 

[Whispering  loudly  to  everyone.] 

Mr.  Leach  is  a  scenario  writer — a  scenario 
writer. 

LEACH. 

[Correcting  her.] 

If  you  will  pardon  me,  not  scenario  writer- 
scenarist — really . 

BILL. 

[In  mock  comprehension.] 
Oh,  scenarist! 

LEACH. 

It's  the  more  modern  term.  The  scenarist  of 
today  is  quite  different  from  the  scenario  writer 
of  yesterday. 

DULCY. 

[In  her  element.] 

Mr.  Leach  says  the  motion  picture  business  is 
still  in  its  infancy. 

LEACH. 

The  surface  has  hardly  been  scratched.  The 
possibilities  are  enormous,  and  the  demand  for 

new  people — new  writers 

[He  turns  to  MRS.  F.] 

Oh !  Mrs.  Smith  tells  me  that  you  are  writing 
for  the  films,  my  dear  Mrs.  Forbes! 


DULCY 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Well,  I'm — trying  to 

LEACH. 

Well,  you  go  on  writing — don't  give  up — don't 
let  anyone  discourage  you. 

[FORBES  turns  away  with  a  mild  attack 
of  apoplexy.] 

That  was  my  experience.  I  just  kept  on  and 
on  until — well,  you  see. 

BILL. 

What? 

DULCY. 

[In  a  quick  aside.] 
You  shut  up,  Willie! 

LEACH. 

[To  MRS.  FORBES.] 
Yes,  you  just  keep  on  writing. 

[Then  generously  taking  them  all  in.] 
All  of  you — and  go  and  see  the  pictures.      See 
them  and  see  them  and  see  them. 

[To  MRS.  F.  and  VAN  DYCK.] 
Study  them ! 

[To  MR.  FORBES.] 

Learn  how  they're  made!  Now  in  my  last 
picture,  "The  Sacred  Love" — you've  all  seen 
that,  I  take  it? 

DULCY. 

Oh,  yes — a  wonderful  picture! 
72 


DULCY 
MRS.  F. 


Yes! 


ANGELA. 
I  saw  it  twice.    Once  with  you,  Tom. 

STERRETT. 
Was  that  his  picture  ? 

LEACH. 

There  were  some  points  in  that — did  you  see 
it,  Mr.  Forbes? 

FORBES. 

[Wild  within.] 
No,  I — I  don't  believe  I  did. 

LEACH. 

Really !  You  must  come  to  one  of  our  trade 
showings  at  the  Hotel  Astor 

FORBES. 
What? 

LEACH. 

Just  a  moment. 

[Consults  note-book.] 

At  the  Hotel  Astor,  next  Tuesday,  at  3:30. 
Of  course,  it's — it's  only  a  little  thing.  We're 
going  to  do  some  big  things  later.  The  possi 
bilities 

BILL. 

Are  enormous. 

73 


DULCY 

LEACH. 

[Falling  for  it.} 

Oh,  very  big  .  .  .  you'd  be  surprised!  Yes, 
we're  going  to  do  some  of  Shakespeare's  things 
next. 

DULCY. 

Shakespeare's?    Well- 


[Her  arms  are  around  her  husband's 
shoulders  and  she  shakes  him  to  pick  up  the 
cue.] 

GORDON. 
[Coming  to.] 
Really! 

LEACH. 

Yes,  I'm  at  work  on  his  continuity  now.  I 
was  telling  my  director  yesterday — I  said,  you 
know,  Shakespeare  had  a  tremendous  feeling  for 
plot.  Of  course,  the  dialogue  is  stilted  for 
modern  audiences — but  then,  you  don't  have 
to  listen  to  that  in  the  pictures.  But  he's  still 
the  master. 

DULCY. 
He's  going  to  organize  his  own  company  next. 

BILL. 

Who — Shakespeare  ? 

DULCY. 

No,  Willie!    Mr.  Leach. 

74 


DULCY 

LEACH. 

Yes — the  Vincent  Leach  Productions,  Inc. 
The  stock  will  be  placed  on  the  open  market 
very  soon. 

DULCY. 

Mr.  Van  Dyck  can  tell  you  how  to  do  it! 
He  owns  lots  of  moving  picture  companies — 
don't  you,  Mr.  Van  Dyck? 

LEACH. 

[Really  interested.] 
Is  that  so  ? 

VAN  DYCK. 
[Modestly,  as  always.] 
Well,  I'm  interested — in  a  small  way. 

LEACH. 
I'd  enjoy  talking  to  you  about  it  later. 

[To  MR.  FORBES.] 

And  how  about  you,  Mr.  Forbes?  Didn't  I 
hear  that  you  were  interested  in  pictures? 

FORBES. 

[Turning  away  and  smothering  the  line.] 
I  don't  care  a  damn  about  pictures. 

LEACH. 

[Not  believing  his  ears.] 
What's  that? 

FORBES. 

I  said,  I  make  jewelry. 
75 


DULCY 

LEACH. 

Well,  of  course,  that's  very  necessary  too,  in 
its  way. 

[FORBES'    mouth    opens — GORDON    rises 
hurriedly.] 

GORDON. 
Dulcy! 

DULCY! 

Ah — let's  play  a  rubber  of  bridge  before 
dinner!  It's  so  nice  and  soothing. 

[Patting   LEACH  for  fear   he   has   been 
offended.] 

Let  me  see 

[To  MR.  FORBES.] 
Mr.  Forbes,  you  play  bridge,  don't  you? 

FORBES. 
No,  I'm  afraid  not. 

DULCY. 

Oh,  yes,  you  do — you're  just  modest.  Mr. 
Forbes 

[She  is  picking  the  card  players  out  with 
cool  intent] 

And  Mr.  Sterrett— and  Gordon And  I'll 

make  the  fourth.  Mr.  Leach. 

(He  is  absorbed  in  A  ngela . )     Mr  .Leach . 

(He  turns.)  Why  don't  you  and  Angela  go  out 
on  the  lawn  and  see  the  view  ? 

GORDON. 
Dulcy,  dear 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Where  the  Japanese  garden  is  going  to  be? 

ANGELA. 

[Giving  LEACH  her  hand.] 
Come  on,  Vincent. 

LEACH. 

[Putting  her  arm  through  his.] 
Yes,  I'd  love  to  see  you  framed  against  the 
glowing  splendor  of  a  twilit  garden. 

[Exeunt    ANGELA    and    LEACH    through 
window.] 

BILL. 

My  golly,  the  man  even  makes  love  in  subtitles ! 

FORBES 

111  see  if  my  car  is  still  in  the  garage. 

[He  strides  up  stage,  then  turns.] 
Ill  come  back — I  think. 

[Exit  Forbes  through  window.] 

GORDON. 
[To  Dulcy.] 
Now,  now,  you  see— 

[He  goes  out  quickly  after  Forbes.] 

BILL. 

[Up  in  the  windows.] 

You  know,  this  is  probably  going  to  be  the 
first  week-end  party  on  record  that  ended  on 
Friday  night. 

[Exit  BILL  through  windows.] 

77 


DULCY 

STERRETT. 
I  think  I'll  go  back  to  my  book. 

DULCY. 

[Somewhat  weakly.] 

We'll  be  starting  the  game  in  a  minute,  Mr. 
Sterrett. 

[Exit  STERRETT.] 
Well,  I'll  get  the  bridge  things. 

[She  turns  in  the  doorway — only  Mrs. 
FORBES  and  VAN  DYCK  are  left  on  the  stage] 
Two's  company  and  three's  a  crowd. 
[Exit  DULCY.] 

MRS.  FORBES. 

[Rising  w  th  a  self-conscious  laugh] 
I  must  go  and  dress  for  dinner. 

VAN  DYCK. 

Oh,  please  don't  go — I've  been  wanting  to 
have  a  chat  with  you.  I've  been  hearing  all 
about  you  this  afternoon. 

MRS.  FORBES. 
All  about  me?     From  whom? 

VAN  DYCK. 
From  Mrs.  Smith. 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Oh! 

78 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 

So  you  see,  I  was  prepared  to  be  interested- 
even  before  I  met  you. 

MRS.  FORBES. 
[Sitting.] 
And  now  the  disappointment? 

VAN  DYCK. 
[Sitting  beside  her.] 

Oh,  far  from  it.  I  find  you  even  more  inter 
esting  than  I  had  anticipated.  You  have 
depths. 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Are  you  going  to — fathom  them? 

VAN  DYCK. 
If  I  may. 

MRS.  FORBES. 
And  how  are  you  going  about  it? 

[FORBES  is  seen  strolling  behind  windows 
at  back.] 

VAN  DYCK. 

That's  my  secret.  But  tell  me,  first — you've 
been  married  just  a  short  time  ? 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Not  so  short — four  years.    Why? 

[FORBES  comes  down  into  window;  sees 
and  hears.] 

79 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 

Mrs.  Smith  tells  me  that  you  are  becoming 
quite  a  novelist. 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Oh,  but  I'm  not  yet.    I  only 

FORBES. 

Is  that  you,  Eleanor? 
[VAN  DYCK  rises.] 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Yes,  dear. 

FORBES. 
Oh! 

VAN  DYCK. 
I  shall  see  you  later,  I  hope. 

MRS.  FORBES. 
I  hope. 

VAN  DYCK. 

[Attempting  to  relieve  the  tension] 
I  suppose  you  get  a  good  many  ideas  for  your 
writings  from  your  husband? 

[The  tension  is  not  relieved] 

[Exit  VAN  DYCK  through  windows] 

FORBES. 

[Looking  from  VAN  DYCK  to  his  wife] 
Well! 

80 


DULCY 

MRS.  FORBES. 
[Rises.] 
Well? 

FORBES. 
What  did  that  mean  ? 

MRS.  FORBES. 

Why,  nothing! 

FORBES. 

Isn't  it  enough  to  have  Angela  go  prancing 
off  with  that — brainless — conceited — motion 
picture  jack-ass  ? 

MRS.  FORBES. 

Mr.  Leach,  do  you  mean?  Why,  he's  a 
charming  man,  and  very  successful. 

FORBES. 

Bah!  And  on  top  of  it,  I  come  in  here  and 
find  you — spooning  with  Van  Dyck. 

MRS.  FORBES. 

Why,  Charlie — how  can  you  say  such  a  thing ! 

FORBES. 
My  God,  didn't  I  see  it! 

MRS.  FORBES. 
But,  Charlie,  dear— 

FORBES. 

I  tell  you  this  whole  place  is  going  to  drive  me 
crazy.  I  didn't  want  to  come  here  anyhow. 

6  81 


DULCY 

I  had  a  backache,  and  I  wanted  to  stay  home 
and  rest. 

MRS.  FORBES. 
But  you  couldn't  refuse 

FORBES. 

And  instead  of  that  I've  got  to  get  up  at  some 
ungodly  hour  in  the  morning  and  go  out  and 
play  golf.  If  there  is  one  thing  I  hate  more  than 
anything  else  in  this  world,  it's  golf — unless  it's 
bridge  or  moving  pictures. 

MRS.  FORBES. 

Now,  Charlie,  dear — when  you're  here  as  a 
guest 

FORBES. 

If  I  could  think  of  a  good  excuse,  I'd  go  back 
to  town  tonight  with  Sterrett,  and  take  Angela 
and  you  with  me. 

MRS.  FORBES 
[Alarmed.] 
But  Charlie,  you  can't  do  that  when 

FORBES. 

Don't  you  suppose  I  see  that  woman's  plan 
to  throw  Angela  and  that— that  film  thing 
together ! 

MRS.  FORBES. 

But  I  tell  you  he's  a  most  charming  man. 
82 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

And  I  tell  you,  if  it  weren't  for  Smith  and  our 
business  relations  I  WOULD  go  back  tonight! 

MRS.  FORBES. 

But,  Charlie — you  can't  be  so  rude! 
[Enter  GORDON.] 

FORBES. 
Sh!    That  reminds  me— Oh,  Smith. 

[SMITH  comes  down  to  FORBES.     MRS. 
FORBES  turns  up  to  the  piano] 

GORDON. 
Yes,  sir. 

FORBES. 

Mr.  Smith,  Mrs.  Smith  has  been  telling  me 
something  of  your  other  business  activities. 

GORDON. 

Other  business  activities?     Why— 

FORBES. 

And  it  came  as  something  of  a  revelation  to 
me. 

GORDON. 

But  Mrs.  Smith  couldn't  have  meant— 

[Enter  through  windows  VAN  DYCK,  who 
joins  MRS.  FORBES.] 

FORBES. 

As  you  may  have  been  aware,  my  agreement 
to  admit  you  on  a  sixteen  and  two-thirds  basis 

83 


DULCY 

was  founded  on  the  expectation  that  you  would 
give  all  your  time  to  the  new  enterprise. 

GORDON. 
Yes,  of  course,  Mr.  Forbes. 

FORBES. 

In  the  circumstances  your  business  and  your 
services  would  hardly  be  worth  that  amount  to 
me. 

GORDON. 
But,  my  dear  Mr.  Forbes — you — you  don't 

understand.    Mrs.  Smith 

[Enter  DULCY.] 

DULCY. 

Oh,  here  are  the  bridge  players!  Come  right 
in,  Mr.  Sterrett. 

[Enter  STERRETT  and  HENRY,  carrying 
card  table.] 

Henry,  put  the  table  right  here.  You  know, 
I  hope  you  men  don't  mind  playing  with  me — 
I'm  not  very  good.  I  always  say  I  don't  really 
play  bridge,  I  play  at  it.  But  I  do  love  it, 
and  after  all,  that's  what  counts,  isn't  it? 

FORBES. 
(Worn  out.)     Yes. 

DULCY. 

That's  right,  Henry,  put  the  chairs  around. 
Now,  I  think  Mr.  Sterrett  will  sit  there.  (In 
dicating  chair  opposite  her.)  I  shall  sit  here. 


DULCY 

Let's  see — that  makes  you  my  partner,   Mr. 
Sterrett.    You  don't  mind,  do  you  ? 

STERRETT. 

[Beyond  minding  anything.] 
Not  at  all. 

[STERRETT  crosses  at  back  for  one  final 
look  out  the  windows  after  ANGELA.] 

DULCY. 
[To  FORBES.] 

He  had  to  say  that.  You  know  I'm  an  aw 
fully  unlucky  player — I  never  have  a  finesse  go 
right.  Well,  unlucky  at  cards — lucky  at  love— 

[Turning  to  GORDON.] 

Lucky  at  love,  Gordie,  darling.  You're  here, 
of  course. 

[GORDON    is    evidently    worrying    about 
what  DULCY  could  have  said  to  FORBES. 
FORBES  keeps  turning  uneasily  for  a  sight  of 
his  wife  and  VAN  DYCK.] 
[DULCY  starts  to  deal.] 

Now  look  at  me — I'm  dealing  when  I  ought 
to  be  shuffling ! 

[She  gathers  up  the  cards  and  shuffles 
awkwardly.] 

Come  along,  Mr.  Sterrett!  We're  going  to 
beat  them!  Bring  that  chair. 

[STERRETT  starts  to  follow  her  directions. 
Three  more  miserable  men  have  never  been 
seen.] 
Is  everybody  happy? 

[The  curtain  starts  slowly  down.] 

85 


DULCY 

And  somebody  tell  me — which  is  higher — a 
heart  or  a  spade  ?  I  never  can  remember.  And 
do  you  discard  from  strength  or  weakness,  Mr. 

Sterrett?    Of  course  it  doesn't  matter 

[She  continues  her  chatter,  as 
[THE  CURTAIN  FALLS.] 


86 


ACT  II 

The  scene  is  the  same  as  Act  I;  the  time 
is  immediately  after  dinner,  on  the  same  day. 
Although  it  is  evening,  the  French  windows 
at  the  rear  still  stand  open.  The  stage  is  in 
semi-darkness — only  one  or  two  of  the  lamps 
are  lighted — but  a  shaft  of  moonlight  shoots 
through  the  windows.  The  dining  room,  at  the 
left,  is  brilliantly  lighted,  and  the  chatter  of 
many  people,  with  the  clink  of  glasses  and 
the  occasional  scrape  of  a  chair,  can  be  dis 
tinctly  heard.  For  an  appreciable  period 
after  the  rise  of  the  curtain  only  the  sound  of 
this  merry  gathering  can  be  heard.  Over  the 
others  the  voice  of  VINCENT  LEACH  rings  out 
clearly — "/  said  to  Mr.  Breitenstein,  'Don't 
you  worry  about  those  German  films. ' '  Then 
the  babble  drowns  his  further  remarks. 

DULCY,  resplendent  in  a  golden  evening 
dress,  presently  enters,  peering  back  as  though 
expecting  someone  to  follow  her.  She  beckons 
excitedly  to  someone  in  the  other  room,  and 
MRS.  FORBES  enters. 

DULCY. 

[In  excited  tones.} 
Isn't  he  wonderful? 

MRS.  FORBES. 
[Also  flushed  with  excitement.} 
Who? 

87 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Vincent  Leach ! 
[Banter  ingly.] 

Ah,  you  thought  I  meant  Mr.  Van  Dyck, 
didn't  you?  Ah,  ha! 

MRS.  FORBES. 
[Confused.] 
Why — I  didn't  know 

DULCY. 

Now,  now!  It  doesn't  take  a  brick  wall  to 
fall  on  me.  But  seriously,  he's  mad  about  her! 

MRS.  FORBES. 

[With  just  a  touch  of  apprehension.] 
Do  you  really  think  so  ? 

DULCY. 

And  she  hasn't  taken  her  eyes  off  him  since 
he  arrived !  I  tell  you,  they're  in  love ! 

MRS.  FORBES. 
[Looking  off .] 

There  is — something  about  him.  The  only 
thing  is 

DULCY. 

I  wouldn't  be  surprised  if  they  became  en 
gaged — right  here  in  my  house.  Wouldn't  that 
be  nice,  after  my  bringing  them  together  ? 

MRS.  FORBES. 

But  you're  sure  it's  all  right — positive  that 
Mr.  Leach  is 

88 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Of  course,  I  am — he's  just  the  man  for  Angela. 
Ssh !  Here's  Mr.  Sterrett. 

[The  two  women  draw  up  against  the  wall 
as  STERRETT  enters.  His  hands  are  deep  in 
his  pockets,  and  he  is  sore.  He  looks  back  as 
he  enters,  then  starts  across  the  room.  A  few 
steps  further  he  looks  back  again,  as  ANGELA'S 
laugh  is  heard.  He  then  stalks  out  the 
windows.] 

[DULCY  titters.] 

DULCY. 
He's  mad !    Let's  see  what  happened ! 

[ANGELA  comes  running  on.  She  is 
happily  excited,  being  pursued.  LEACH 
follows  her,  capturing  her  at  the  piano,  and 
holding  her  with  her  back  toward  him,  giving 
MRS.  F.  and  DULCY  a  chance  to  escape  into 
the  dining  room  unseen.] 

LEACH. 
Now  I've  got  you! 

ANGELA. 

And  what  are  you  going  to  do  with  me  ? 

LEACH. 

[Turning  her  around] 
I'm  going  to  tell  you — how  wonderful  you  are . 

ANGELA. 
[Liking  it.] 
Oh,  my! 

89 


DULCY 

LEACH. 
You  are !    You're  like  a  beautiful  warm  dawn 

— just  your  magic  presence 

[VAN  DYCK  and  MRS.  FORBES  enter  R] 

ANGELA. 

[Stopping  LEACH.] 
Ssh! 

VAN  DYCK. 

But  surely  if  one  has  a  talent  it  should  be 
developed. 

ANGELA. 

Shall  we  sit  down? 

[LEACH  makes  a  gesture  towards  chairs  by 
the  piano.] 
Oh,  not  there — here. 

[She  bounces  over  to  platform  of  staircase 
and  sits  on  steps  behind  the  hydrangeas. 
LEACH  takes  his  place  beside  her.) 

MRS.  FORBES. 

[Convinced  by  now  she  is  a  potential  George 
Sand.] 

But  I'm  afraid  I'm  just  a  dabbler  and  always 
will  be. 

VAN  DYCK. 
[Sitting  beside  her] 

Ah,  but  I'm  sure  you're  wrong!    You  must 
be  wrong. 

[Enter  FORBES  and  GORDON.  All  of  the 
men,  except  STERRETT,  are  in  evening  clothes] 

90 


DULCY 

FORBES. 
Well,   as  a  straight  business  proposition   I 

must  say 

[He  sees  his  wife  with  VAN  DYCK,  and  stops 
short.] 
Huh! 

[VAN  DYCK  gets  up  from  the  easy  chair.] 

VAN  DYCK. 
Sit  here,  Mr.  Forbes. 

FORBES. 

No,  thank  you.    I  prefer  a  stiff  chair. 
[He  makes  no  move  to  sit,  however.] 

SMITH. 

[Indicates  chair.] 
Here  you  are,  Mr.  Forbes. 
[Enter  BILL.] 

BILL. 

Everybody  ready  for  a  nice  musical  evening  ? 

[STERRETT,  still  sulking,  comes  in  silently 

through  the  French  windows.    DULCY  enters 

at  the  same  time,   and  immediately  takes 

characteristic  charge  of  the  situation] 

DULCY. 

Well,  this  is  going  to  be  jolly,  isn't  it?  Let's 
have  a  little  light  on  the  subject.  (She  switches 
on  the  lights.}  Let  me  see—  Yes,  everybody's 
here. 

[MRS.    FORBES,    anxious   to   relieve   the 
tension  maintained  by  her  husband,  leaves 


DULCY 

VAN   DYCK  and  follows  DULCY.     DULCY 
puts  her  arm  around  her.] 
I  love  a  big  house  and  lots  of  company.     If 
only  it  were  a  winter  night,  we  could  gather 
around  the  fireplace  and  tell  ghost  stories. 

[FORBES  has  made  up  his  mind  to  sit  and 
has  headed  for  the  stiff  chair.  DULCY  seizes 
him.} 

Oh,  no,  Mr.  Forbes — you  must  take  the  easy 
chair — that's  for  you — yes. 

[She  pulls  him  across  to  it.] 

FORBES. 

[Cursing  the  conventions  of  chivalry.} 
But  I  really  would  rather — that  is 

DULCY. 

Now,  not  a  word — I  know  you're  polite  and 
want  to  leave  it  for  me,  but  I  insist  on  your 
having  it. 

[GORDON  in  his  attempts  to  prevent  DULCY 
has  circled  around  behind  table  to  easy  chair. 
His  efforts  are  unavailing.     DULCY  forces 
MR.  FORBES  into  the  chair.] 
I  wouldn't  dream  of  anyone  else's  having  it 
but  you.    Now  sit  right  in  it — that's  right — way 
back.    It's  awfully  comfortable — just  the  thing 
after  eating. 

[MRS.  FORBES  has  seated  herself;  VAN 
DYCK  is  entertaining  her.] 
It'll  rest  you  for  tomorrow — for  your  horse 
back  riding. 

92 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

[In  great  alarm.] 
Horse-back ! 

DULCY. 

Yes,  didn't  you  hear  us  talking  about  it?  In 
the  afternoon.  We're  making  up  a  party  to  go 
to  the  Sound  and  you're  in  it. 

[Enter  HENRY  with  coffee,  on  a  tea  wagon. 
He  pushes  it  across  to  DULCY.] 
Well,  who's  for  coffee  ?    Coffee— coffee ! 

[BILL  has  wandered  over  to  the  piano  and 
has  seated  himself.  DULCY  pours  into  the 
cups  on  small  tray.] 

It's  a  lovely  ride  to  the  Sound.  You'll  go, 
won't  you,  Mr.  Van  Dyck? 

VAN  DYCK. 
(With  MRS.   FORBES.) 
What's   that?     Oh,  yes — yes,  indeed. 

DULCY. 

[Whispering.] 
You  and  Mrs.  Forbes  can  go  together. 

[VAN  DYCK  returns  to  MRS.  F.  FORBES 
has  been  turning  around  to  locate  his  wife  and 
daughter.] 

I'll  ride  with  Mr.  Forbes.  Here  you  are, 
Henry. 

[HENRY  serves  coffee.] 

GORDON. 

(To  FORBES.)  Now  this  was  what  I  wanted 
to  show  you.  These  are  our  Number  Three's; 

93 


DULCY 

we  are  turning  these  out  at  an  extremely  low 
price,  and  the  German  formula  can't  touch 
them.  Just  examine  these. 

[FORBES  puts  on  glasses  and  does  so.] 
[HENRY  returns  for  two  more  coffees;  he 
offers  one  to  FORBES,  who  refuses.] 

DULCY. 

We're  going  to  have  a  lovely  day  for  it  to 
morrow.  Did  you  see  that  sunset?  Angela, 
you  and  Mr.  Leach  are  to  go  along,  too.  And 
Mr.  Sterrett — where  is  that  Mr.  Sterrett? 

STERRETT. 
(Behind  her.)     I'm  here. 

DULCY. 

Oh!  There  you  are!  I'd  almost  forgotten 
you. 

STERRETT. 

[Submerged  in  the  gloom.] 
That's  all  right. 

DULCY. 

It's  too  bad  you  can't  stay  over,  Mr.  Sterrett. 
I'm  sure  you'd  enjoy  it. 

[HENRY  serves  ANGELA  and  LEACH,  who 
both  accept.  His  offers  to  BILL  and  STER 
RETT  are  refused] 

You  know,  the  paper  says  rain  for  tomorrow, 
but  it's  always  wrong.  I  have  the  worst  luck 
with  the  weather  whenever  I  go  any  place. 
When  I  take  my  umbrella  it  never  rains,  and  if 
I  don't  take  it 

94 


DULCY 

[BILL  has  started  on  a  solo  of  "Chop 
Sticks"  as  an  anodyne.} 

Come  away  from  the  piano,  Willie.  .  .  .  Mr. 
Van  Dyck  is  going  to  play  us  something — aren't 
you,  Mr.  Van  Dyck? 

VAN  DYCK. 
Why— ah— a  little  later. 

[BILL  starts  another  one- finger  solo.} 

GORDON. 

If  you'll  examine  those  you'll  see  that  they 
are  the  same  grain  and  luster  as  the  Hammond 
Number  Six. 

DULCY. 

Oh,  do  stop,  Willie! 

FORBES. 
Mmm. 

[A  pause} 
Angela ! 

[There  is  no  answer} 
Angela ! ! 

ANGELA. 

[Coming  to.} 
Yes,  father. 

FORBES. 

Just  let  me  see  those  pearls  of  yours  for  a 
minute,  will  you? 

95 


DULCY 

ANGELA. 
Yes,  father. 

[ANGELA  and  LEACH  rise.  LEACH  reaches 
as  if  to  remove  the  pearls,  but  ANGELA  hands 
him  her  coffee  instead  and  removes  pearls 
herself.  HENRY  steps  up  to  ANGELA  to 
relieve  her  of  the  pearls.  She  gives  them  to 
him.  BILL  strikes  a  bass  note  three  or  four 
times  in  warning,  rising  as  he  does  so. 
DULCY  and  SMITH  rise,  their  eyes  on  HENRY. 
HENRY  gives  the  pearls  to  FORBES;  DULCY 
gives  a  huge  sigh  of  relief.  ANGELA  and 
LEACH  resume  their  seat  on  the  bench  again. 
BILL  sits  again  at  piano.} 

DULCY. 

Are  you  ready  now,  Mr.  Van  Dyck — it's  your 
turn! 

VAN  DYCK. 

Oh,  really,  I — I  don't  think  that  I  should 
play.  Mr.  Forbes  and  your  husband  would 
much  prefer  to  discuss  jewelry,  I'm  sure. 

DULCY. 

Oh  no,  they  wouldn't.  Would  you,  Mr. 
Forbes?  (He  is  studying  the  necklace.)  Mr. 
Forbes ! 

FORBES. 
[Looking  up.] 
Huh? 

DULCY. 

Wouldn't  you  like  to  hear  Mr.  Van  Dyck 
play  the  piano  ? 

96 


DULCY 

FORBES. 
Oh,  yes — yes. 

DULCY. 

You  see— and  I  know  Mrs.  Forbes  wants  you 
to  play — don't  you,  dear? 

MRS.  F. 

Oh,  yes. 

DULCY. 
And  I  do.    And  Willie— 

[Another  solo  of  BILL'S  is  obtruding.] 
Get  away  from  the  piano,  Willie— and  Mr. 
Sterrett.    Now,  Mr.  Van  Dyck— 

VAN  DYCK. 
Well,  if  you  insist. 

[VAN  DYCK  seats  himself  and  starts  to 
play.  The  selection  is  the  Chopin  Prelude, 
Op.  28  No.  4.] 

DULCY. 
[Seated.] 

What  was  that  little  thing  you  played  at  Mrs. 
Kennedy's  this  afternoon? 

[She  listens.    SMITH  and  FORBES  are  dis 
cus  sing  jewelry  in  low  tones.] 
No— that  wasn't   it.      It's  lovely,   though. 
Carries  me  right  away. 

[SMITH  and  FORBES  become  audible.] 
Quiet  everybody — quiet ! 

[After  a  look  at  her  they  lower  their  tones, 
but  not  enough  to  satisfy  DULCY.] 
7  97 


DULCY 

Ssh !    (She  rattles  some  noisy  bracelets.) 

[FORBES  turns  and  looks  at  her.  DULCY 
giggles  at  him.] 

Oh,  Mr.  Forbes!     I  thought  it  was  my  hus 
band,         ^s^ 

[DULCY' s  wandering  eyes  light  upon  a  box 

of  candy,  the  wrapping  still  on  it.    She  makes 

a  weak  attempt  to  turn  her  eyes  away  from  it 

and  then  picks  it  up  and  tears  off  its  paper 

noisily,  whispering  across  to  MRS.  FORBES.] 

Candy  that  Mr.  Leach  brought !   Yes — wasn't 

it  nice  of  him? 

[She  removes  cover  and  ribbon,  opens  box 
and  offers  some  to  MRS.  FORBES  and  STER- 
RETT  in  hoarse  whisper.] 
Take  some ! 

[They  signal  refusal] 
[She  reaches  it  towards  FORBES.] 
Want  some  candy,  Mr.  Forbes? 

[FORBES  looks  around,  but  does  not  under 
stand] 

[DULCY  creeps  across  to  him] 
Some  candy?  Sherry's.  Delicious!  Molasses! 
[She  is  heavily  sibilant] 
[FORBES,  unable  to  hear,  leans  toward  her. 
She  reaches  the  box  further  toward  him.    After 
seeing  the  candy  he  refuses] 

FORBES. 
No,  no,  thank  you. 

[Returns  to  his  chair.  GORDON  coughs 
and  is  hushed.  DULCY  takes  a  piece  of 
candy  from  the  box  and  tastes  it;  does  not  like 


DULCY 

it,  looks  about  to  make  sure  no  one  is  observ 
ing — replaces  it.  BILL  rises,  comes  down 
and  selects  two  pieces.} 

DULCY. 

Ssh! 

BILL. 

(Whispering.)     What? 

DULCY. 

Ssh! 

\The  music  suddenly  stops.    DULCY  drops 
candy  and  applauds.] 

BILL. 

Ssh! 

[The  music  begins  again.] 

DULCY. 

\In  a  whisper  to  MRS.  F.] 
I  thought  he  had  finished. 

[VAN  DYCK  strikes  the  remaining  chords. 
DULCY  rises.} 
Lovely ! ! 

[Long  drawn  out.} 

MRS.  F. 
It  was  adorable ! 

ANGELA. 
I  loved  it ! 

99 


DULCY 

LEACH. 

It  was — beautiful.  It  made  me  think  of 
Araby  and  the  moon-soaked  desert. 

[He  loses  himself  in  the  desert  for  a  second.] 
Did  you  see  "The  Virgin  of  Stamboul"? 

BILL. 

(Promptly.)     No. 

DULCY 
No — I  don't  believe  I  did,  either. 

LEACH. 

That's  too  bad.  You  know,  some  of  my  new 
picture  is  being  laid  in  the  desert,  and  that  would 
be  wonderful  music  for  it. 

DULCY. 

[Getting  an  inspiration.] 
Oh! 

BILL. 

What's  the  matter? 

DULCY. 
I  have  an  idea. 

[BILL  moves  toward  the  door.] 
Why  not  have  Mr.  Leach  tell  us  the  story  of 
his  new  picture,  while  Mr.  Van  Dyck  plays  the 
music  for  it  ? 

GORDON. 

[Springing  up.] 
But— but,  Dulcy— 

100 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

It'll  be  just  like  a  moving-picture  theatre! 

LEACH. 

[With  fake  modesty.] 

Oh,  but  really — I  don't  think  that  I  should— 
of  course,  it  would  be  interesting. 

ANGELA. 
Oh,  please  tell  it,  Vincent! 

[She  gives  a  look  to  STERRETT.] 

STERRETT. 

Yes,  do!     (Turns  away.) 

MRS.  F. 

I'd  love  to  hear  it,  and  so  would  my  husband. 
(She  throws  her  husband  a  look.) 

DULCY. 

Well,  now  you  can't  refuse. 

LEACH. 

[With  no  thought  of  refusing.] 
Since  you  demand  it. 

DULCY. 

Oh,  good !  Now  everybody  take  their  places. 
Mr.  Van  Dyck,  you  go  back  to  the  piano.  (They 
all  take  seats.)  Mr.  Leach,  you  tell  him  what 
kind  of  music  you  want. 

[BiLL  stands  motionless  and  noiseless.] 
Be  quiet,  Willie.    Now,  I'll  sit  here. 
101 


DULCY 

BILL. 

Mr.  Leach.  (A  pause.)  How  many  reels  is 
this  picture  ? 

LEACH. 
There  are  eight ! 

[BILL  sinks  into  his  chair.] 
It's  an  extra-super-feature,  not  released  on 
the  regular  programme ! 

BILL. 
How  long  does  each  reel  take  ? 

LEACH. 
Oh,  about  fifteen  minutes. 

FORBES. 
[Looks  up.} 
Two  hours? 

BILL. 

To  tell  it? 

LEACH. 

Oh,  no,  to  show  it.  I  can  give  you  what  we 
call  an  outline  in  half  an  hour — well,  three- 
quarters  at  the  most. 

BILL. 

That's  much  better — three-quarters.  That's 
fine! 

DULCY. 

Now  keep  quiet,  Willie,  or  he  won't  tell  it. 
What's  the  name  of  the  picture,  Mr.  Leach? 

102 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

[Striking  match.] 
We  can  have  a  smoke  anyhow. 

FORBES. 
Thanks. 

LEACH. 

[With  a  winning  smile.] 
Of  course,  I  must  have  absolute  silence. 
[FORBES  looks  at  him.] 

DULCY. 
Of  course.    Tell  us  the  name  of  it. 

[SMITH  lights  his  own  and,  as  FORBES  is 
about  to  turn  for  his  light,  LEACH  protests 
amiably.} 

LEACH. 

I  shall  have  to  concentrate,  and  if  there  are 
any  distractions 

DULCY. 
[Hastily] 

There  won't  be  any — tell  us  the  name  of  it. 

BILL. 

Ask  him  what  it's  called. 

DULCY. 

Shut  up,  Willie! 

LEACH. 

[Waiting  a  moment  until  every  one  is  quiet.] 

The  name  of  the  picture 

103 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

(Lifting  an  arm,  and  thus  rattling  her  bracelets.) 
Quiet,  everybody ! 

LEACH. 

Is— "Sin." 

[This  to  the  men.    FORBES  and  BILL  ex 
change  a  look.] 
"Sin." 

[To  the  women.] 

DULCY. 
[Doing  her  bit.] 
"Sin." 

[VAN  DYCK  starts  the  Rachmaninoff  Pre 
lude.    LEACH  steps  up  and  stops  him.) 

LEACH. 

Not  yet.     And  when  I'm  ready,  just  a  soft 
accompaniment. 

[Starting  with  enthusiasm.] 

This  is  really  something  quite  new  in  films. 
I  am  going  to  show  Sin — throughout  the  ages. 

DULCY. 

[With  anticipation.] 
Well! 

LEACH. 
In  the  beginning  the  picture  is  symbolic.     I 

open  with  a  quotation  from  Hawthorne 

[For  the  men's  benefit.] 
Nathaniel  Hawthorne. 
104 


DULCY 

BILL. 

[Raising  his  hand.] 
Who's  the  director  and  the  cameraman? 

DULCY. 

Willie! 

LEACH. 

(Squelching  him.)  The  director  is  Frank 
Heming  Stratton. 

BILL. 
Oh! 

[BILL  prepares  for  as  comfortable  a  nap  as 
possible.] 

LEACH. 

It  begins — with  the  setting  out — of  Noah's 
Ark. 

[LEACH  signals  VAN  DYCK,  who  starts 
''Sailing,  Sailing."  LEACH  considers  the 
music  for  a  second,  decides  it  will  do,  and 
continues.] 

We  see  Noah,  a  man  of  advanced  years.  His 
wife,  his  sons,  the  animals — of  each  of  its 
kind  two.  We  see  the  Ark  setting  out  upon  its 
journey — we  see  the  waters  rise  and  rise  and  rise. 
For  forty  days  it  rains. 

[VAN  DYCK  changes  to  "Rustle  of 
Spring."] 

Civilization  is  all  but  wiped  out — it  is  kept 
alive — and  SIN  is  kept  alive — only  in  the  Ark. 

[A  t '  'Sin' '  VAN  DYCK  changes  to ' '  Kiss  Me 
Again."} 

105 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

[In  hoarse  whisper  to  MRS.  F.] 
" Kiss  Me  Again." 

LEACH. 

Then  comes  a  calm 

[VAN  DYCK  changes  to  "Morning  Mood" 
(Grieg)} 

The  dove  is  sent  forth — it  returns,  unable  to 
find  a  lighting  place. 

[Suiting  action  to  the  word,  FORBES  strikes 
a  noisy  match  and  lights  his  cigar,  unmindful 
of  LEACH'S  glare.] 

And  then  a  second  dove — and  it  returns — 
and  then  a  third — and  it  does  not  return — for 
somewhere  in  the  great  beyond  it  had  found 
LAND. 

[A  quick  signal  to  VAN  DYCK.] 
LAND! 

[VAN  DYCK  goes  into  "My  Country  'Tis 
of  Thee"  loudly] 

[DULCY  automatically  rises,  ever  patriotic. 
LEACH  is  about  to  begin  again,  looks  at  her 
surprised.  DULCY  giggles  her  apology,  then 
sits.  LEACH  continues  as  the  curtain 
slowly  falls.] 

LEACH. 

Many  years  pass — we  are  now  at  King  Solo 
mon's  Court — his  wives  are  bathing  in  the 

fountain 

[The  curtain  remains  down  for  a  few 
seconds  to  indicate  the  passing  of  thirty 
minutes] 

1 06 


DULCY 

[As  the  curtain  rises,  LEACH,  some 
what  dishevelled  is  still  talking.  BILL  is 
asleep  in  his  chair,  STERRETT  asleep  in  his 
chair.  SMITH  has  fallen  asleep  in  a  sitting 
posture  as  though  he  had  attempted  to  be  a 
perfect  host  but  failed.  FORBES  is  the  one 
man  wide-awake.  He  is  chewing  the  stump 
of  a  cigar  viciously,  breathing  heavily  and 
seems  to  be  wondering  how  many  seconds  he 
can  stand  it  before  he  commits  murder.  VAN 
DYCK,  at  the  piano,  looks  exhausted,  and  by 
this  time  is  contributing  only  an  occasional 
chord.  MRS.  FORBES,  ANGELA  and  DULCY 
are  still  "eating  it  up."] 

LEACH. 

[Talking  as  the  curtain  rises.] 
Frances  rushes  to  the  edge  of  the  cliff,  and, 
looking  over,  sees  an  inert  lifeless  form.     The 
1  'Weasel  "is  dead. 

[LEACH  pantomimes  his  excuses  hurriedly 
and  takes  a  drink  from  glass  of  water  on 
piano.] 

[HENRY  enters  to  clear  away  the  coffee  cups.] 

DULCY. 

Not  yet,  Henry.    How  many  times 

[HENRY  exits.] 
Yes,  Mr.  Leach,  the  Weasel  is  dead 

LEACH. 

[Picking  up  the  story.] 

And    then — then    the    Zeppelin    and    Jack's 
automobile  go  into  the  final   stretch  neck  and 

107 


DULCY 

neck;  On — on  they  speed!  We  get  another 
close-up  of  Jack  in  the  driver's  seat !  We  see  his 
face — tense — and  putting  into  the  car  every 
thing  that  he  has,  he  forges — slowly — slowly 
ahead!  Then  more  and  more!  The  goal  is 
nearer  and  nearer !  Back  in  New  York,  Charley 
is  seen  leaving  the  Chinese  Restaurant !  On  the 
corner  he  meets  Fanny,  who  throws  the  money 
in  his  face. 

[For  emphasis  he  touches  FORBES'  arm. 
FORBES  jumps.] 

Then  flash  back  to  Jack — nearer  and  nearer — 
HE  WINS. 

[BiLL  is  rudely  awakened  and  springs  up.] 

BILL. 

What? 

LEACH. 

[Explaining.] 
He  wins ! ! 

[BILL  returns  to  his  chair  and  nap  with  a 
manner  of  a  man  annoyed  at  being  called  too 
early.    VAN  DYCK  strikes  a  chord.] 
Gradually  he  stops.     The  Zeppelin  makes  a 
landing.     Coralie  gets  out  of  the  dirigible  and 
rushes  to  Jack  to  forgive  him.    Just  as  he  takes 
her  in  his  arms,  her  father  arrives  with  the  after 
noon  paper,  which  makes  everything  clear  and 
vindicates  Albert.    Then  the  father  clasps  Jack's 
hand  and  apologizes  to  him  for  having  thought 
him  a  thief.    And  to  keep  the  symbolism  to  the 
end,  just  as  Jack  kisses  Coralie  there  in  Chicago, 
Marc  Anthony  is  shown  kissing  Cleopatra  in 

108 


DULCY 

Ancient  Egypt  and  George  Washington  kissing 
Martha  Washington  at  Mt.  Vernon.  And  so  at 
the  end  of  the  Dream  Trail  we  fade  into  a  long 
shot  of  Jack  and  Coralie,  once  more  in  their 
South  Sea  bungalow,  with  the  faithful  old 
Toota  Heva  waiting  to  greet  them  in  the  sunset 
— and  fade  out. 

[VAN  DYCK  finishes  with  a  loud  chord. 
LEACH  is  exhausted  from  his  labors.  The 
women  rise.  LEACH  rushes  to  them,  his 
hands  outstretched,  anticipating  their  con 
gratulations.  The  women  take  his  hands, 
chattering.  VAN  DYCK  gets  up,  raising  his 
arms  and  exercising  his  fingers.  BILL 
awakes  and  rises,  but  finds  his  foot  asleep. 
He  gradually  wakes  himself  up  by  some 
shakes  and  half -exercises,  and  awakens 
SMITH,  who  also  has  to  exercise  and  stretch 
his  legs  and  arms.  STERRETT  likewise 
awakes.  FORBES  has  risen  and  holds  his 
back.} 

[HENRY  enters,  clears  the  cups  and  saucers, 
and  exits.] 

DULCY. 

[When  the  excitement  has  died  down  a  little.] 
Oh,  that  was  the  most  wonderful  picture  I 
ever  saw! 

[The  women  echo  this.} 
I  mean  heard !    Eight  marvelous  reels ! 

BILL. 

What  a  picture!    My  God,  what  a  picture! 
[Exit.} 

1 09 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

[Through  his  teeth.] 

And  now,  Eleanor,  they  might  enjoy  hearing 
one  of  your  scenarios.  In  fact,  I'm  going  up 
stairs  to  get  one ! 

MRS.  F. 

Charlie — you — you're  not  really  going  to  get 
one  of  mine ! 

FORBES. 
So  help  me  God ! 

\He  starts  up;  DULCY  stops  him  at  the  foot 
of  the  staircase.} 

DULCY. 

Mr.  Forbes,  wouldn't  you  like  to  play  a  game 
of  billiards  ? 

GORDON. 

[Pleased  with  DULCY.] 
Ah!    Now,  that's  fine! 

FORBES. 

Why,  yes,  I'm  very,  very  fond  of  billiards! 

DULCY. 
There,  you  see,  Gordon,  darling. 

FORBES. 
I  didn't  know  you  had  a  billiard  table. 

DULCY. 

Why  yes,  a  wonderful  one ! 
no 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

[Indicating  the  door.} 
Downstairs. 

VAN  DYCK. 

That  sounds  interesting.    May  I  look  on? 
[Exits.] 

[GORDON  has  gone  to  DULCY  and  squeezed 
her  hand  in  appreciation.} 

GORDON. 
[At  door.} 
This  way,  Mr.  Forbes. 

FORBES. 

Good  God,  why  didn't  you  mention  billiards 
earlier ! 

[Exeunt  SMITH  and  FORBES.] 

DULCY. 
[To  MRS.  F.] 

I  think  it's  good  for  the  men  to  get  off  by 
themselves  once  in  a  while — they  seem  to  like  it. 
Besides,  I  wanted  to  talk  to  you.  Angela  dear, 
why  don't  you  and  Mr.  Leach  go  out  for  a 
stroll  in  the  moonlight?  It's  a  wonderful 
night,  in  the  moonlight. 

ANGELA. 

Yes,  let's! 

LEACH. 

The  moonlight !    I  would  adore  it ! 
in 


DULCY 

MRS.  F. 
You'd  better  put  on  a  wrap,  Angela. 

ANGELA. 
Oh,  mother,  it  isn't  cold. 

[Exeunt  ANGELA  and  LEACH.] 

STERRETT. 

(Taking  the  pretty  rough  hint.}     I  guess  I'll 
watch  the  billiard  game. 

[Exit.] 

\The  two  women  sit  down.  DULCY  takes 
box  of  candy  from  piano  and  puts  it  on  a 
stool  between  them.  They  eat  and  talk.} 

DULCY. 

Isn't  everything  going  beautifully? 

MRS.  F. 

Ah — yes. 

DULCY. 

I  think  Mr.  Forbes  is  beginning  to  like  Vin 
cent,  too. 

MRS.  F. 
Do  you? 

DULCY. 

Don't  you?  Didn't  you  see  his  face — so 
tense  and  excited  while  Mr.  Leach  was  telling 
his  story?  Wasn't  it  nice,  with  Mr.  Van  Dyck 
playing  the  piano  ? 

MRS.  F. 
He  plays  awfully  well. 

112 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Has  he  said  anything  to  you  ? 

MRS.  F. 
Who? 

DULCY. 

Mr.  Van  Dyck  of  course.  Anybody  can  see 
he's  attracted  to  you — he's  an  awfully  nice 
man,  and  he's  one  of  the  Van  Dycks  of  Newport 
— if  you  ever  want  to  go  there. 

MRS.  F. 
Oh,  whe? 

DULCY. 
Yes,  I  could  fix  it  for  you. 

[Enter  GORDON  and  FORBES.     They  have 
removed  their  coats.] 

GORDON. 

Dulcy,  dear,  where  did  you  put  those  billiard 
balls?  " 

DULCY. 
The  what? 

[Enter  VAN  DYCK.] 

FORBES. 

The— billiard  balls!  It's— a  little  difficult  to 
play  billiards  without  them. 

DULCY. 
Oh,  the  billiard  balls! 

8  113 


DULCY 

GORDON. 
Yes. 

DULCY. 

[Rising,  going  to  him.] 
Did  you  look  in  the  pockets? 

GORDON. 
[Sadly.] 

There  are  no  pockets  on  a  billiard  table. 

FORBES. 

[Willing  to  let  the  whole  world  go  hang.] 
What's  the  difference — what's  the  difference  ? 

DULCY. 

Maybe  I  did  put  them  some  place — now, 
wait — I  wonder  if  I  could  have — no — I  put  the 
curtains  there. 

[A  pause.] 

I'll  come  right  away  and  look  for  them.  I 
think  I  know  where  they  are.  Gordie,  you  and 
Mr.  Forbes  come  with  me. 

[VAN  DYCK  starts  to  improvise  on  the 
piano.] 

That's  right,  Mr.  Van  Dyck — you  keep  Mrs. 
Forbes  company. 

[To  FORBES.] 

I'm  awfully  sorry  about  those  balls.  You 
know,  sometimes  I  think  I'd  lose  my  head  if  it 
wasn't  fastened  on. 

[Exit  DULCY.  FORBES  after  a  look  in  the 
direction  of  MRS.  FORBES  and  VAN  DYCK, 
also  goes  off.] 

114 


DULCY 

MRS.  F. 

We  can  go  along  and  watch  them  play,  if  you 
like. 

VAN  DYCK. 
[Still  playing.} 
Do  you  want  to  ? 

MRS.  F. 

Not  particularly. 

VAN  DYCK. 
Then  let's  don't. 

MRS.  F. 

[Listening  to  the  music.} 
That's  pretty. 

VAN  DYCK. 
I  would  much  rather  talk  to  you. 

MRS.  F. 
A  clever  man  can  do  both. 

VAN  DYCK. 
But  I'm  not  clever. 

MRS.  F. 
You're  at  least  modest. 

VAN  DYCK. 

[Playing  all  through  this  speech,  which  is 
considerably  broken  up} 

No — I'm   not   even   that.      The   downright 
truth  is— I'm  embarrassed   by  opportunities. 


DULCY 

Here  I  have  a  moment  alone  with  you — you're 
perfectly  willing  to  be  entertained.  If  I  could 
play  at  all  well — which  I  can't — I  should  dash 
off  something  brilliant — now.  And  if  I  could 
talk  well,  which  I  can't,  I  should  simply  scintil 
late — for  you.  But,  you  see — I'm  just  mediocre. 

[A  pause.    He  continues  to  play.} 
Perhaps  I  wouldn't  be  quite  so  annoyed  with 
myself  if  it  weren't  for  you. 

MRS.  F. 

But  you're  doing  splendidly.     You  have  a 
most  respectful  audience. 

VAN  DYCK. 

[Stopping  playing  abruptly.} 
Oh,  please,  not  that!     You  know  you're — 
charming. 

MRS.  F. 
And  just  what  is — a  charming  woman? 

VAN  DYCK. 

A    charming  woman?    She's  the  one  I  never 
meet  until  she's  married  someone  else. 

MRS.  F. 
You're  incorrigible.    Play  something  more. 

VAN  DYCK. 
Oh,  no. 

[He  rises  and  joins  her.} 

I  don't  feel  like  playing.    What  do  you  say 
to  a  stroll? 

116 


DULCY 

MRS.  F. 
I'd  like  it.    I've  not  been  out  since  dinner. 

VAN  DYCK. 
It's  pleasant  here,  isn't  it? 

MRS.  F. 

Yes,  isn't  it? 

VAN  DYCK. 

I  have  a  little  place  like  this  in  the  East — 
in  Abyssinia.  The  moonlight  comes  down 
through  the  trees — have  you  ever  been  in  Africa  ? 

MRS.  F. 
No. 

[They  start  out  through  the  windows.] 

VAN  DYCK. 

You  should  go  to  Africa.  I  have  some 
diamond  interests 

[They  exeunt.] 

[HENRY  enters,  takes  a  glance  around 
room,  and  arranges  the  cushions  on  the  divan. 
As  he  is  replacing  the  one  on  the  end  his  eyes 
fall  upon  something  in  the  easy  chair. 
He  picks  up  ANGELA'S  necklace,  which 
FORBES  had  dropped,  thinking  he  was  putting 
it  in  his  pocket.  HENRY,  in  a  matter-of-fact 
way,  puts  it  in  his  own  pocket  and  exits 
up  the  stairs.] 

[ANGELA  and  LEACH  enter  through  win 
dows.  ANGELA  is  considerably  excited.] 

117 


DULCY 

ANGELA. 
It  was  cool,  wasn't  it? 

LEACH. 

Was  it? 

•    ANGELA. 
Weren't  you? 

LEACH. 

No — I  was — afire — afire  with  love  for  you, 
Angela. 

ANGELA. 
Why,  what  are  you  saying? 

LEACH. 

Oh,  those  deep  burning  eyes!  The  mystery 
of  your  hair !  Angela,  you're  wonderful !  I  love 
you !  Almost  from  the  first  moment  I  saw  you, 
I've  loved  you — wanted  you — longed  for  you! 
Why,  I  patterned  my  newest  heroine  just  after 
you !  To  be  with  you  is  to  breathe  the  perfume 
of  exaltation !  Angela ! 

ANGELA. 

[Breathlessly.] 
Vincent ! 

LEACH. 

I  am  offering  you  myself — everything  that  I 
am —  Oh,  it's  true  that  I've  knocked  about 

some 

[Modestly.] 

118 


DULCY 

A  good  many  girls  have  loved  me,  but  I  have 
never  loved  any  but  you,  dearest. 
[He  kneels.] 

Say  that  you  love  me — a  little — even  though 
that  love  is  now  no  greater  than  the  glow  of  a 
single  firefly  in  the  fading  day ! 

ANGELA. 
[Rising.] 

Oh,  Vincent — my  genius! 
[LEACH  rises.] 

LEACH. 

[Clasping  her  in  embrace.] 
My  sweetheart ! 

[He  kisses  her  and  then  holds  her  off,  look 
ing  at  her.] 
My  wonder  girl !    Will  you  marry  me  ? 

[ANGELA'S  head  drops  in  assent.] 
And  the  day? 

[Embracing  her  again.] 
Love  cries  for  its  own ! 

ANGELA. 
Whenever  you  say — Vincent. 

LEACH. 

[Getting  an  idea.] 
Why  not — ah — but  you  wouldn't ! 

ANGELA. 

What? 

119 


DULCY 

LEACH. 
Why  not  now — today — tonight  ? 

ANGELA. 
Tonight? 

LEACH. 

Yes — why  not — elope ! 

ANGELA. 

[Pleased.] 
Elope! 

[Sober.] 
Oh,  but  mother  and  father 

LEACH. 

I  am  thinking  of  them.  Your  father  would 
not  understand. 

ANGELA. 
Don't  you  think  so? 

LEACH. 

He  doesn't  know  how  our  hearts  cry  for  each 
other. 

ANGELA. 
But  he  might  never 

LEACH. 

Darling,  since  the  beginning  of  Time  hearts 
have  been  broken  because  they  were  not  brave. 
And  think  how  romantic  it  would  be — you  and  I 
stealing  away  in  the  night — just  we  two — 
together. 

[He  draws  her  to  him,  they  embrace  again.] 
120 


DULCY 

ANGELA. 

Oh,  Vincent ! 

LEACH. 

Angela,  dear! 

ANGELA. 
And  we'd  not  tell  anybody? 

[Withdrawing  a  bit  from  him.] 
Oh  Vincent,  I'd  have  to.    Mother  and 

LEACH. 
[Quickly.] 
But  not  your  father ! 

ANGELA. 

[Hesitant.] 

No,  I  shan't  tell  father.     But,  mother — and 
Mrs.  Smith.    We'll  need  her. 

LEACH. 

Just  think  of  it,  Angela — you  and  I  eloping! 

[They  embrace  again.] 
Won't  the  world  be  surprised ! 

[Enter  DULCY.] 

DULCY. 
Oh,  excuse  me. 

[They  break — embarrassed.] 
I  haven't  interrupted  anything,  have  I  ? 

[Hoping  to  God  she  has.] 

LEACH. 
Why — no. 

121 


DULCY 

ANGELA. 

[Speaking  simultaneously  with  LEACH.] 
Why — yes. 

DULCY. 

Can  I  guess  it  ? 

[ANGELA  nods,  too  full  to  speak.] 

Angela,  oh,  Angela 

[She  goes  to  her,  embracing  her.] 
Of,  if  this  isn't  the  most  wonderful  thing  I've 
ever    heard!      It's — it's — it's — it's — wonderful, 
that's  all  I  can  say!    I'm  so  happy  I  could  cry! 
Good  news  affects  me  that  way. 

[She  turns  and  takes  VINCENT'S  hand, 
which  he  has  been  holding  out  expectantly.] 

Vincent !    I  may  call  you  Vincent  now,  mayn't 
I? 

LEACH. 
Of  course ! 

ANGELA. 
Mrs.  Smith — we're  going  to  need  your  help. 

DULCY. 
Yes,  darling,  of  course. 

ANGELA. 

Now,  it's  a  secret,  and  you  must  promise 
that  you  won't  tell  anyone. 

DULCY. 

Why  no — I  wouldn't  tell  a  soul. 
122 


DULCY 

ANGELA. 

[After  an  assenting  signal  from  LEACH.] 
Well — Vincent  and  I — are  going  to  elope. 

DULCY. 

E— elope? 

ANGELA. 

Tonight. 

DULCY. 

T — t — tonight?     You  mean — run  away  and 
get  married? 

[ANGELA  nods  her  head.] 

Why— why— why— why— that 's  wonderful 

[She  grows  incoherent.] 

—that's  just  marvelous!    I  never  heard  of 
anything  like  that!    It's — it's — why,  it's— 

ANGELA. 
Now,  remember, — you're  not  to  tell  a  soul 

DULCY. 

Oh  no,  I  wouldn't  tell  anybody,  no —    How 
soon  are  you  going? 

ANGELA. 
Just  as  soon  as  we  can — aren't  we,  Vincent? 

LEACH. 

Yes !    If  we  can  get  away. 

ANGELA. 

We  want  you  to  help  us. 
123 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Of  course.  You — you — you — should  tell  your 
mother.  She'll  be  crazy  to  know  about  it. 

ANGELA. 

Oh,  yes. 

DULCY. 

[Indicates  windows.] 

I  guess  she  must  have  gone  out  there.  My, 
I'm  so  excited  I  don't  know  what  to  do  next! 
I  just  feel  like  jumping  up  and  down ! 

[Enter  BILL.    DULCY  sees  him  and  rushes 
down  to  him.] 
Willie,  what  do  you  think ! 

[LEACH  and  ANGELA  start  to  stop  her,  bui 
she's  too  fast  for  them.] 
Vincent  and  Angela  are  going  to  elope ! 

ANGELA. 
Oh !    And  you  promised 


LEACH. 

Now  you've 

DULCY. 

Well,  it — it  just  came  out  before  I  could  help 
it.  But — but  Willie  won't  tell  anybody.  You 
won't  tell  anybody,  will  you,  Willie? 

BILL. 

(Slowly  to  ANGELA.)  You're  going  to  elope? 
With  Mr.  Leach? 

124 


DULCY 

ANGELA. 

[Not  quite  meeting  his  eye} 
Yes.     (BILL  looks  from  ANGELA  to  DULCY 
then  back.) 

BILL 
I  won't  tell  a  soul. 

DULCY. 

[Vindicated.] 
See? 

ANGELA. 
Thank  you. 

BILL. 

Where  are  you  going  to  elope  to  ? 

ANGELA. 
Why — where  were  we,  Vincent? 

LEACH. 
I  hadn't  thought  about  it  just  yet. 

DULCY. 
There  are  lots  of  places 


BILL. 

[After  a  glance  at  DULCY.] 
How  about  a  marriage  license? 

ANGELA. 

Why,  I  don't  know — Vincent? 
[She  turns  to  him.] 
125 


DULCY 

LEACH. 

[Weakly.] 
Well,  I  thought  we  might  find  some  place 

BILL. 

[To  ANGELA.] 
Going  to  take  your  father's  car? 

ANGELA. 

[Who  had  not  thought  about  it  before.] 
Yes! 

DULCY. 
You  could  have  had  mine — but  I  broke  it. 

BILL. 
[To  DULCY.] 

I  suppose  this  was  your  idea. 

DULCY. 
Well,  I  helped. 

BILL. 
Yes,  I  could  tell. 

[Again  to  ANGELA.] 

Well,  after  you  get  this  license  and  find  a 
minister 

DULCY. 

Willie,  you  could  help  them  some  way 
couldn't  you?  You  know  where  to  get  a  license 
and  everything. 

LEACH. 
Do  you  ? 

126 


DULCY 

BILL. 

[A  pause.] 

Why — yes. 

DULCY. 

See,  that's  just  why  I  told  him. 

BILL. 

I  live  in — Bronxville,  and  I  know  the  borough 
clerk.  We  could  go  to  his  house  and  get  a  license. 

DULCY. 

Oh,  that  would  be  lovely! 

ANGELA. 
[Weakly.] 
Yes. 

LEACH. 

[Dubiously.] 
Yes. 

BILL. 

Yes.  Then  I  could  drive  you  wherever  you 
wanted  to  go,  and  bring  the  car  back — that  is, 
if  Mr.  Leach  wants  it  brought  back. 

DULCY. 

You  see!  Everything  is  working  out  fine! 
Now  I'll  tell  you  what  we'll  do!  We'll— ah— 
well — ah — what  do  you  suggest,  Willie? 

BILL. 
Is  everything  ready? 

127 


DULCY 

ANGELA. 

We  just  have  to  get  our  bags. 

DULCY. 

They  just  have  to  get  their  bags.  Vincent, 
now  you  go  out  and  find  Mrs.  Forbes  and  tell 
her;  then  well  all  meet  in  the  garage  in  ten 
minutes.  I'll  go  up  and  get  Angela's  things  for 
her. 

[She  starts  up,  then  turns  to  consider.] 

Now  let  me  see 

[Enter  STERRETT.] 

STERRETT. 

[Coming  forward  with  attempted  careless 
ness.] 
Oh,  hello! 

DULCY. 
[Weakly.] 

Hello. 

ANGELA. 

[Also  weakly.] 
Hello,  Tom. 

[An  awkward  pause.  STERRETT  sees  that 
there's  something  in  the  wind  and  that  he's 
not  part  of  it.] 

DULCY. 

(Coming  to  the  rescue.)  There's  nothing  the 
matter. 

STERRETT. 
Oh — excuse  me ! 
[Exit.] 

128 


DULCY 

ANGELA. 
You  don't  think  he  suspected? 

DULCY. 
Of  course  not.    I  told  him  there  was  nothing 

the  matter.     Now  let's  see — Vincent You 

go  out  and  find  Mrs.  Forbes,  and  then  go 
to  the  garage  and  wait  for  us  there.  Now,  quick, 
quick !  Go  right  through  the  tomatoes ! 

LEACH. 

[With  his  eye  on  Bill.] 

Yes,  but  you  know,  I  can  drive  a  car,  too,  for 
that  matter. 

DULCY. 

Hurry  up !  The  less  speed  the  more  haste,  or 
something ! 

LEACH. 

All  right. 

[To  ANGELA.] 

My  dream  woman ! 

[Exit  through  windows.] 

DULCY. 

Oh — well,  now  that's  settled.  I'll  go  up  and 
get  the  things,  and  we'll  all  meet  in  the  garage 
in  ten  minutes ! 

ANGELA. 
I'll  go  with  you! 

DULCY. 

No,  I'll  bring  everything  out  to  the  garage. 
If  anybody  sees  me  they  won't  suspect.  You 

9  129 


DULCY 

know,  I'm  so  excited!  Now  you  two  hurry 
right  out!  Vincent  will  meet  you  there!  My, 
it's — it's  just  like  times  of  old  when  knights  were 
bold! 

[She  gallops  up  the  stairs.  ANGELA  looks 
uncertainly  at  BILL,  then  starts  out  quickly, 
then  pauses — to  face  whatever  he  may  have  to 
say.  BILL  turns  and  speaks  quietly.} 

BILL. 

All  ready  for  the  elopement? 

ANGELA. 
I  think — I  think  you're  just  horrid. 

BILL. 
Speaking  to  me? 

ANGELA. 
You  know  very  well  I  am. 

BILL. 

But  of  course  you  don't  mean  it.  I'm  really 
being  very  good  to  you — helping  you  out  in  this 
way. 

ANGELA. 

Well — well — you  don't  have  to  be  so  happy 
about  it.  After  all  we — we  are  old  friends ! 

BILL. 

But  that's  why  I'm  glad.  You're  glad,  aren't 
your* 

ANGELA. 

That  has  nothing  to  do  with  it ! 
[A  pause.} 

130 


DULCY 

Of  course  I  am ! 

[Another  pause.] 
You're  just — just  impossible! 

BILL. 

Angela,  you  told  me  once  that  I  would  never 
change.  You  were  right  —  I  never  have 
changed. 

ANGELA. 

[Almost  in  tears.} 

Oh,  I  don't  care  whether  you  have  or  not!  I 
think  you're  positively  hopeless ! 

[She  flounces  out  through  the  French 
windows.  BILL  left  alone,  looks  after  her  a 
moment,  then  starts  up,  but  seeing  someone 
come  downstairs,  he  pauses  at  the  window. 
HENRY  comes  downstairs.  He  wears  a  sack 
coat  and  is  carrying  a  derby.  He  seems 
hurried  and  nervous.  A  she  turns  to  go,  BILL 
touches  him  on  the  shoulder.  HENRY  starts.} 

BILL. 
Hello,  Henry! 

HENRY. 

[Collecting  himself.} 
Yes,  sir. 

BILL. 

What  seems  to  be  the  trouble? 

HENRY. 

[Nervous.} 
Trouble,  sir? 


DULCY 

BILL. 

Yes. 

HENRY. 

Oh,  no  trouble,  sir.    Have  you  the  time,  sir? 
[BiLL  takes  out  watch,  somewhat  absent- 
mindedly  holding  it  too  closely  to  HENRY — 
then,  realizing  this  mistake,  turns  away  to 
consult  it.] 

BILL. 

Sixteen  minutes  after  ten. 

HENRY. 

Thank  you,  sir.    Excuse  me,  sir. 
[Exit  HENRY  hurriedly] 
[BiLL  stands  a  moment,  undecided  whether 
to  investigate  HENRY,  then  turns  and  goes  out 
through  windows] 

[Enter  GORDON  and  FORBES.] 

GORDON. 

I'm — I'm  sorry,  but  Dulcy — my  wife — must 
have  had  the  table  moved  for  some  reason,  and 
then  didn't  get  it  quite  level  when  it  was  put 
back. 

FORBES. 

Oh,  that's  all  right— that's  all  right.  In  fact, 
it  was  rather  novel — playing  billiards  up  and 
down  hill. 

GORDON. 

Probably  I  can  have  it  fixed  before  you  go 
home,  and  then 

132 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

Doesn't  matter,  I  assure  you.     I — ah — I — 
don't  care  very  much  for  billiards,  anyhow. 

GORDON. 

[Growing  desperate.] 

Some  other  time,  then.    Maybe  you'd  like  to 
—to  look  at  some  new  golf  clubs  I  just  got? 

FORBES. 

What? 

[Enter  MRS.  FORBES  through  the  windows. 
She  is  in  a  state  of  suppressed  excitement, 
which  becomes  more  suppressed  when  she 
finds  her  husband  present.] 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Oh,  hello,  dear! 

FORBES. 
[Sourly.] 
Hello. 

MRS.  FORBES. 
[Fencing.] 
Who  won  the  billiard  game? 

FORBES. 

[Violently.] 
Mrs.  Smith! 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Have  you — seen  anybody  ^ 

FORBES. 
Havel  what? 

133 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

[Anxious    to    get    away.] 
Suppose  I — go  and  lay  out  those  golf  clubs 
awhile,  and — then  you  can  come — later. 

FORBES. 

[Almost  viciously.] 
Yes — suppose  you  do. 

GORDON. 
Yes,  yes.    All  right — all  right. 

[He  wipes  his  forehead  nervously  as  he 
goes  out.] 

MRS.  FORBES. 

[Casting  apprehensive  glances  up  the  stairs 
and  out  the  windows.] 
What's  the  matter,  dear? 

FORBES. 

What's     the     matter?       Why — why — good 
Heavens,  the — the 

MRS.  FORBES. 

[Half  fearful  that  he  had  learned  about  the 
elopement.] 
Nothing  has  happened,  has  it? 

FORBES. 
Happened  ?    I  should  say  it  has ! 

MRS.  FORBES. 
[Alarmed.] 
What? 

134 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

I  go  in  here  to  play  a  game  of 

[Viciously.] 

—billiards.  I  think  finally  that  I'm  going 
to  get  ten  minutes  of  pleasure  out  of  this  week 
end,  and — and — what  do  I  find? 

MRS.  FORBES. 
[Sweetly.] 
Well? 

FORBES. 
[Yelling.] 
What's  the  difference? 

[A  pause.] 

You  don't  give  a  darn — you  just  go  ahead 
carrying  on  with  that  fellow  Van  Dyck. 

MRS.  FORBES 
But,  sweetheart 


FORBES. 

Oh,  I  saw  the  way  that  woman  fixed  it  up  for 
ou !    And  Angela — where's  Angela  ? 

MRS.  FORBES. 

[Nervously.] 
I  don't  know,  dear. 

[DULCY,  carrying  two  suitcases,  comes 
tiptoeing  down  the  stairs.  MRS.  FORBES 
sees  her  and  DULCY  wigwags  to  her  to  be 
quiet.  FORBES  is  well  down  stage,  with  his 
back  to  DULCY.] 

135 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

Out  gallivanting  with  that  moving  picture 
nincompoop,  I  suppose.  More  of  that  woman's 
work! 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Mr.  Leach — do  you  mean? 

FORBES. 
Yes,  Mr.  Leach  I  mean ! 

[DULCY  has  reached  the  windows;  MRS. 
FORBES  is  signalling  to  her.} 
Just  imagine  having  a  fellow  like  that  in  the 
family — telling  you — outlines.    And  the  idea  of 

you  standing  idly  by  while  he  and  Angela 

[He  sees  MRS.  FORBES'  signals.} 
What  the  devil's  the  matter  with  you  ? 
[DULCY  slips  through  the  windows.} 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Why,  nothing  dear. 

FORBES. 

Then  stand  still !  And  listen  to  me.  If  I  find 
this  Leach  person  actually  making  love  to  An 
gela,  why,  I'm — I'm  going  to  raise  hell,  that's  all. 
It's  been  nothing  but  a  series  of  aggravations 
—annoyances — ever  since  I  came  into  this  house. 
Eleanor,  I  can  truthfully  say  that  in  all  my 
fifty-three  years  I  have  never  spent  an  un- 
happier  evening. 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Oh,  Charlie! 

136 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

But  I  am  not  going  to  spend  another!  I  am 
not  going  to  stay  here  and  ride  golf  and  play 
horse-back ! 

MRS.  FORBES. 
What  are  you  going  to  do? 

FORBES. 

I  am  going — home ! 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Charlie! 

FORBES. 

I'm  going  upstairs  and  pack!  I  promised 
Sterrett  I'd  drive  him  in  tonight,  and  I'm  not 
coming  back !  There's  another  thing !  The  way 
they're  treating  Sterrett ! 

[Starting  up  the  stairs.] 
Good  night! 

MRS.  FORBES. 

Charlie — you  can't  do  that ! 

FORBES. 

Maybe  I  can't,  but  I'm  going  to!  You  can 
stay  here  with  Van  Dyck  and  watch  Angela 
carrying  on  with  that  Leach  person  if  you  want 
to.  BUT — mark  my  words — if  anything  comes 
out  of  this — if  Angela  and  that  fool  are  in 
fatuated  with  each  other,  and  try  to  do  anything 

137 


DULCY 

silly — I  don't  ever  want  to  see  you  or  her  again! 
That— is  all! 

[He  storms  up  the  stairs.} 
[MRS.  FORBES  looks  after  him  a  minute. 
DULCY  enters  through  windows  and  romps 
over  to  MRS.  FORBES.] 

DULCY. 

[Gleefully] 
Well,  they're  gone ! 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Oh,  I'm  scared!     Can't  you  call  them  back? 

DULCY. 
Huh?    Why,  it's  lovely! 

MRS.  FORBES. 

No — no!  I've  got  to  tell  him!  If  I  don't 
he'll — he'll  never  let  me  come  back  to  him !  He 
means  it —  I  know  him ! 

DULCY. 

Vincent  and  Angela  have  eloped  and  every 
thing's  fine ! 

MRS.  FORBES. 

Fine?  But — but — oh,  it  was  all  your  doing! 
That  and — Mr.  Van  Dyck,  and — everything! 
Charles  would  never  have  talked  to  me  like 
that  if  it  hadn't  been  for  you. 

[Sobbing.] 

He  never  talked  to  me  like  that  before. 
138 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Why,  Mrs.  Forbes,  dear,  you're  tired. 

MRS.  FORBES. 

No,  I'm  not!  I'm  just  mad,  that's  all — mad 
at  you !  It's  all  your  fault !  If  my  husband  ever 
knows  that — that  I  knew  they  were  eloping, 
and  didn't  stop  it,  why,  he'll — he'll — oh,  I  don't 
know  what  he'll  do! 

[She  breaks  down,  sobbing.] 

DULCY. 

[Wanting  to  pat  her  and  not  quite  daring 
to.] 

There,  there,  dear.  Why,  he  won't  do  any 
thing.  He'll  be  the  first  to  congratulate 

[Enter  GORDON.] 

GORDON. 

[Coming  toward  them.] 

Good  Heavens,  what's  all  this  about  ?  What's 
the  matter? 

DULCY. 

It's  nothing  at  all,  darling.    Just — just— 

[FORBES  comes  down  the  stairs.  He  is 
wearing  a  duster  and  carrying  his  hat  and 
suitcase.] 

GORDON. 

Why,  Mr.  Forbes! 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Charlie! 

139 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

[Still  boiling  within.] 

Mr.  Smith — I — I  am  returning  to  New  York 
— important  business.  My — ah — wife  and  my 
daughter  will  remain  here,  I  believe.  I  don't 
know  anything  about  them. 

GORDON. 
But  Mr.  Forbes,  I  don't  understand. 

FORBES. 

So  far  as  our  little  deal  is  concerned,  I — I 
haven't  made  up  my  mind  yet  whether  to  go 
ahead  with  it  or  not. 

GORDON. 
My  dear  sir 

MRS.  FORBES. 

Oh,  Charlie — Charlie — I  want  to  tell  you 
something ! 

[She  starts  towards  him,  but  DULCY  stops 
her.] 

DULCY. 

Now,  Mr.  Forbes,  you  don't  really  mean 
what  you  are  saying.  When  in  anger,  you 
should  always  count  ten. 

GORDON. 
[Sternly.] 
What  is  this  all  about? 

[Everybody  starts  to  tell  him  at  once  and  all 
are  talking  as  VAN  DYCK  enters  through  the 
windows.] 

140 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 
I've  got  it! 

[Seats  himself  at  piano.] 
I  just  thought  of  it ! 

DULCY. 

Ah— ah— huh? 

VAN  DYCK. 

You  know,  that  little  thing  I  couldn't  re 
member.  It  was  a  little  Sicilian  love  song — it 
went  like  this. 

[He  launches  into  a  pretty  little  thing] 

FORBES. 

[After  a  jew  bars  have  been  played,  in  great 
indignation] 
Oh!! 

[He  stalks  out  through  windows] 

GORDON. 

Mr.  Forbes — Mr.  Forbes! 
[He  follows  him  out] 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Charlie— Charlie! 
[She  follows  out] 

DULCY. 
Oh,  Mr.  Van  Dyck! 

VAN  DYCK. 

Do  tell  me,  what's  the  trouble?  Is  Mrs. 
Forbes— 

141 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

[Shaking  her  head] 
It's— it's  Mr.  Forbes. 

VAN  DYCK. 
Mr.  Forbes? 

DULCY. 

He  just  got  angry — for  no  reason  at  all,  and 
now  he's  going  back  home  in  his  car.  .  .  . 

[She  remembers  the  car  is  gone] 
He  thinks. 

VAN  DYCK. 
Dear  me ! 

DULCY. 

But  the  worst  of  it  is — he's  awfully  angry  at 
Gordon,  and — he  won't  go  ahead  with  the 
business  thing. 

VAN  DYCK. 

Business  thing?  Is  that  the — now,  I  don't 
want  to  seem  inquisitive,  but  is  that  the  jewelry 
merger  I've  heard  discussed? 

DULCY. 

Yes.  Didn't  you  know?  I'll  tell  you  all 
about  it !  Well,  Mr.  Forbes  was  getting  up  one, 
and  he  was  going  to  give  my  Gordie  some  of  it. 

[Her  mood  changes] 
I  hope  it  is  all  off — only  16^  per  cent. 
142 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 

Just  a  minute.  As  I  understand,  it  was  a 
combination  which  would  have  taken  in  about 
fifty  per  cent  of  the  jewelry  trade. 

DULCY. 

[Approaching  tears.] 
Yes,  I  think  so. 

VAN  DYCK.* 

And  now  Mr.  Forbes  is  leaving  your  husband 
out  of  it  ?  Is  that  right  ? 

DULCY. 
Yes. 

[VAN  DYCK  considers  very  seriously.] 
Why?     Oh,   dear,   maybe  I  shouldn't  have 
told  you. 

[VAN  DYCK  in  deep  thought.] 
Oh,  oh,  I  wish  I  hadn't  told  you. 

[VAN  DYCK  wheels  with  decision.] 

VAN  DYCK. 
Mrs.  Smith ! 

DULCY. 

Well? 

VAN  DYCK. 
Mrs.  Smith,  I  like  your  husband  very  much. 

DULCY. 

[Greatly  pleased.] 
Oh,  do  you? 

143 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 

Would  he  be  willing  to  get  up  his  own  merger, 
one  bigger  than  Mr.  Forbes  ever  dreamt  of? 

DULCY. 

Why — what  do  you  mean? 

VAN  DYCK. 

Why  doesn't  he  beat  Mr.  Forbes  at  his  own 
game? 

DULCY. 

Why — why — I  never  thought  of  that.  But 
Mr.  Forbes  has  all  the  money — and — and 
Gordie  hasn't  any. 

VAN  DYCK. 

That's  it  exactly!  Now,  I've  always  wanted 
to  take  a  little  flier  in  the  jewelry  business. 
Suppose  I  financed  Mr.  Smith — suppose  he 
and  I  set  out  to  beat  Mr.  Forbes  together? 
How  would  that  be? 

DULCY. 

[Incoherent.] 

Be?  Be?  Why,  it  would  be  increditable — 
unbelievable ! 

[Tearfully.] 
You — do  you  really  mean  it? 

VAN  DYCK. 

I  do.  I'll  put  up  my  check  the  moment  your 
husband  says  the  word. 

144 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

[Crying  with  joy.  ] 

Oh,  Mr.  Van  Dyck,  you've — you've  made  me 
the  proudest  woman  in  all  the  world!  You  let 
me  break  the  news  to  him,  won't  you? 

VAN  DYCK. 
Why — of  course,  if  you  wish  it. 

DULCY. 

And  to  think  I  introduced  you  to  him !  Now, 
what  will  he  think  of  me ! 

[Excited  voices  are  heard  off.] 

VAN  DYCK. 
It's  Mr.  Forbes  again! 

DULCY. 

Is  it? 

VAN  DYCK. 
[At  the  door] 

Perhaps  I'd  better  go.  My  golf  things  are 
fearfully  rumpled.  Will  I  find  your  man  Henry 
through  here? 

DULCY. 

[Her  mind  on  other  matters] 
He's  around  somewhere. 
[Exit  VAN  DYCK.] 

[DULCY  is  almost  hysterical  with  happi 
ness.     The  voices  outside  become  definite] 

MRS.  FORBES. 

But,  Charlie  dear,  calm  down  a  little,  and 
don't  fly  off  the  handle! 

145 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

Handle!  Handle,  madam!  Do  you  realize 
what  has  happened? 

[He  enters  during  this  speech,  wearing  coat 
and  hat,  and  still  carrying  suit-case.     Stops 
short  at  sight  of  DULCY.     Then  walks  down 
to  her  with  terrible  calm.] 
Mrs.    Smith.     (He    pauses.)      Mrs.    Smith, 
upon  going  to  your  garage,  I  first  discovered  that 
my  car  was  gone. 

DULCY. 

Oh,  but  that's  nothing 

[GORDON  appears  in  windows.] 

FORBES. 

Just  a  moment,  please!  My  wife  thereupon 
informed  me  that  you  had  told  her  that  my 
daughter  and  Mr.  Leach — have  eloped ! 

[He  is  throwing  a  terrific  emphasis  on  every 
word.} 

GORDON. 

What! 

FORBES. 
Is — this — true? 

DULCY. 

[Quaking,  but  trying  to  be  gay  about  it.} 
Yes — yes!    You  see 

MRS.  FORBES. 
It  wasn't  my  fault,  Charlie1 — honestly! 

[FORBES  silences  her  with  a  gesture,  his 
eyes  not  leaving  DULCY.] 

146 


DULCY 
FORBES. 


Mrs.  Smith- 


[Turning] 

and  Mr.  Smith.  I  am  measuring  my  words  very 
carefully.  Since — my  car — is  gone — and  the 
last  train — is  gone,  it  seems  that  I  shall  be  com 
pelled  to  remain  in  this  house — over  night. 

[He  pauses — his  eyes  find  DULCY.] 
I  shall — endeavor  not  to  commit  a  murder. 

GORDON. 

My  dear  Mr.  Forbes,  I'm  sure  this  can  be 
fixed  up  in  some  way. 

DULCY. 
Yes.    Of  course  it  can. 

[The  old  DULCY  for  a  second] 
You  know,  an  angry  word  spoken  in  haste— 

FORBES. 
Please! 

[To  MR.  SMITH.] 

Mr.  Smith,  in  the  circumstances  I  don't  see 
how  we  can  possibly  get  on  in  business  together. 
I  don't  like  your  methods! 

GORDON. 
But,  Mr.  Forbes 

FORBES. 

I  shall  not  call  the  matter  off  entirely,  but  any 
arrangement  which  we  might  eventually  make 

147 


DULCY 

would  necessarily  differ  from  our  tentative  dis 
cussions  as  to  percentage. 

[GORDON  starts  to  speak.] 
I'm  sorry,  but  that's  my  decision! 

[STERRETT    comes    running    on    through 
windows.] 

STERRETT. 
Mr.  Forbes,  Mr.  Forbes 


[He  comes  between  FORBES  and  SMITH.] 

FORBES. 

[Snapping  at  him] 
Well,  what  now? 

STERRETT. 
Your  car  is  not  in  the  garage! 

FORBES. 
You  don't  say  so! 

STERRETT. 

Leach  and  Angela  were  acting  awfully  funny. 
If  you  ask  me,  I  think  they've  eloped  in  it! 

FORBES. 
I  was  not  aware  that  I  had  asked  you! 

STERRETT. 

But — how  am  /  going  to  get  back  to  town  to 
night? 

148 


DULCY 

FORBES. 
You — might — try — skipping! 

[STERRETT  tries  to  pass  this  off  as  a  laugh, 
but  a  look  from  FORBES  squelches  him.  He 
arranges  an  exit  for  himself.} 

STERRETT. 

Ah — well — I'll  see  if  I  can  find  them. 
[Exit.] 

FORBES. 
[To  SMITH.] 

I  repeat — the  percentage  would  have  to  be 
adjusted.    And  now  I  wish  you  good-night ! 
[He  makes  for  stairs.] 

MRS.  FORBES. 
Oh,  Charlie,  mayn't  I  come  with  you? 

FORBES. 

It  is  a  matter  of  utter  indifference  to  me 
where  you  go ! 

MRS.  FORBES. 

Oh,  but,  Charlie,  it  wasn't  my  fault — really 
it  wasn't!  I  didn't  know  anything  about  it 
until  after  they  eloped ! 

[MRS.  FORBES  follows  her  husband  up 
stairs.] 

[When  FORBES  started  to  talk  business  to 
GORDON  DULCY  seated  herself  on  the  sofa, 
smiling  with  the  thought  of  what  she  knew 
and  they  didn't.] 

149 


DULCY 

DULCY. 


[Gleefully.  \ 
Gordie! 


GORDON. 

[Turning  and  looking  at  her.} 
My  God,  are  you  smiling? 

DULCY. 
I've  got  the  most  wonderful  news  for  you! 

GORDON. 

[His  anger  rising.} 
Is  it  a  surprise? 

|/1  pause.} 
Dulcy — Dulcy,  how  could  you? 

DULCY. 
How  could  I  what? 

GORDON. 

You've  ruined  me — that's  all.  Ruined  me. 
Dulcy,  I'm  afraid  we  don't  hit  it  off  very  well — 
you  and  I.  This  thing  is  too  big.  Say  what  we 
may,  it's  come  between  us. 

DULCY. 

Oh,  no,  it  hasn't,  darling.    Wait  till  you  hear. 

GORDON. 
Hear?    Hear  what? 

150 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

[Rising  and  approaching  him.] 
How  would  you  like — to  have  Schuyler  Van 
Dyck  for  a  partner? 

GORDON. 
A — partner? 

[Going  mad.] 
More  golf? 

DULCY. 

Business. 

GORDON. 
Huh? 

DULCY. 

[With  great  excitement.] 

How  would  you  like  to  go  in  business  with 
him,  and  have  Taylor  and  Robbins  and  Spelvin 
and  all  those  other  people  with  you,  and  leave 
Mr.  Forbes  out  oi  it?  Get  up — a — a — bigger 
merger  than  Mr.  Forbes  ever  thought  about, 
because — because  you'd  have  all  the  money  you 
wanted !  Mr.  Van  Dyck  said  so ! 

GORDON. 

[Dazed.] 
He — says  so? 

DULCY. 
Yes!    Think  of  that! 

GORDON. 

Here !  Wait  a  minute !  You've — you've  been 
talking  to  Van  Dyck? 


DULCY 

DULCY. 


Yes — just  now ! 


GORDON. 

And  he  said  that  he'd  finance  a  combination 
to  beat  Forbes  and  his  crowd — with  me  at  the 
head  of  it  ? 

DULCY. 

He's  just  waiting  for  you  to  say  the  word, 
darling ! 

GORDON. 
I — I — I — I — I — can't  believe  it. 

DULCY. 

[Caressing  him  as  if  to  restore  his  senses.] 
But  it's  true — it  is,  dear. 

GORDON. 

Why,  it's — it's  too  good  to  be  true.  I — I 
could  be  rid  of  Forbes  and  put  the  business  in 
for  what  it's  worth.  I — I  could 

DULCY. 
[Excited.] 
Yes — oh,  Gordon! 


GORDON. 

I — I  can  really  do  big  things !    Why- 
[FORBES  comes  downstairs.} 
152 


DULCY 

FORBES. 
Excuse  me. 

[DULCY  and  SMITH  break.  FORBES  is  the 
pathetic  sight  of  a  strong  man  reduced  to 
tears.} 

I  am  sorry — to  be  compelled  to  make— 
another  statement.  I  merely  wish  to  announce 
— on  top  of  everything  else — that  my  daughter's 
pearl  necklace  has  disappeared. 

DULCY. 
Disappeared  ? 

GORDON. 
What's  that? 

FORBES. 

In  view  of  the  fact  that  it  took  place  in  this 
house,  I  thought  you  might  have  a  sentimental 
interest.  I  put  it  in  my  pocket  not  three-quar 
ters  of  an  hour  ago,  and  now— 

[Enter  VAN  DYCK,  speaking  as  he  comes 
in.} 

VAN  DYCK. 

I'm  sorry,  but  I've  been  all  over  the  house 
and  I  can't  find  Henry  any  place. 

[VAN  DYCK  senses  that  he  faces  a  situation 
of  some  sort.} 
He  must  have  gone  out. 

[SMITH  and  DULCY  exchange  terrible  looks. 
DULCY  is  the  first  to  recover.} 

DULCY. 

Henry ! 

153 


DULCY 
GORDON. 


Well,  I'll  be- 


FORBES. 

What's  that?  Who's  Henry?  What's  he  got 
to  do  with  it? 

VAN  DYCK. 

I'll  look  again,  but  I'm  certain  he's  not  here. 
[He  is  about  to  start  out.] 

GORDON. 
[Stopping  him.] 

Before  you  go,  Mr.  Van  Dyck 

[VAN  DYCK  halts.] 

And  just  a  second,  Mr.  Forbes 

[Stopping  FORBES.] 

We'll  straighten  out  about  the  necklace  later. 
Mr.  Van  Dyck,  I  understand  that  you  have 
offered  to  back  me  with  unlimited  capital  in  an 
independent  jewelry  merger? 

[DuLCY     sits     on     sofa,     enjoying     the 
situation.] 

FORBES. 
WHAT? 

GORDON. 
Am  I  correct? 

VAN  DYCK. 

You  are !  Mrs.  Smith  has  interested  me  very 
much  in  this  matter.  I'll  put  up  the  necessary 

154 


DULCY 

capital,  provided,  of  course,  we  can  agree  on  the 
details. 

GORDON 

[Willing  to  agree  to  anything.] 
Oh,  there'll  be  no  difficulty  about  that. 

[With  dignity.] 

I  accept  your  offer.  Mr.  Forbes,  you  said  a 
minute  ago  that  you  were  not  certain  whether 
or  not  our  deal  was  off.  Well,  I've  decided.  It 
is  off !  I  am  going  to  line  up  with  Van  Dyck  and 
fight  you — fight  you  till  one  of  us  is  forced  to  the 
wall.  But  before  I  do  it,  I'm  going  to  tell  you 
why  I'm  fighting  you !  I'm  fighting  you  because 
you  tried  to  take  advantage  of  me ! 

FORBES. 
Advantage? 

GORDON. 

Yes,  advantage !  By  offering  me  less  than  you 
knew  my  business  was  worth.  You  knew  I  was 
in  a  hole,  and  now  you're  going  to  get  just  what 
you  deserve.  You're  going  to  get  a  first  rate 
licking ! 

DULCY. 
Oh,  Gordie! 

VAN  DYCK. 
[Anxious  to  get  away] 

I — I'll  see  if  I  can  find  Henry,  but  I'm  afraid 
he's  gone. 

[Exit  VAN  DYCK.] 

155 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

All  right.  Make  your  fine  speeches,  but  when 
you  talk  about  fighting,  don't  forget  that  I  can 
fight,  too.  And  before  you  win,  you're  going  to 
know  that  you've  been  in  a  real  fight!  Re 
member  that! 

[Exit  FORBES  upstairs.} 

DULCY. 

[Rising  and  going  to  GORDON.] 
Gordie,  darling,  you  were  wonderful! 

[Embraces  him] 
But  the  necklace !      Do  you  think  Henry 


GORDON. 

[Impatiently.] 

What's  the  difference  whether  he  did  or  not? 
I  feel  like  a  new  man. 

DULCY. 
Gordie,  you  see — I  was  of  some  use  after  all. 

GORDON. 
Use !    You  were  wonderful ! 

[Taking  her  in  his  arms] 
The  best — the  finest  little  wife  in  the  world. 

[He  kisses  her] 

I'm  going  to  beat  Forbes,  dear — I'm  going  to 
succeed — and  I'll  owe  it  all  to  you. 

DULCY. 
Wasn't  it  lucky,  my  finding  Mr.  Van  Dyck? 

156 


DULCY 

GORDON. 
Lucky!    It  was  an  inspiration! 

DULCY. 
And  I  am  a  real  helpmate  ? 

GORDON. 

My  darling! 

[She  is  again  in  Ms  arms.} 

DULCY. 
My  Gordie! 

[The  door  bell  rings.} 

That's  the  door  bell.    You'll  have  to  answer 
it,  darling,  since  Henry  isn't  here. 

GORDON. 
One  of  the  neighbors,  probably. 

[He  goes  out,  leaving  door  open.} 

DULCY. 
Oh,  Henry! 

[  Voices  are  heard  off  stage.} 

PATTERSON. 
Is  this  Mr.  Smith's  house? 

GORDON. 
I  am  Mr.  Smith. 

PATTERSON. 

Can  I  speak  to  you  a  moment  on  a  rather 
important  matter? 

157 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

Won't  you  step  in? 

[Enter  BLAIR  PATTERSON.  A  man  some 
what  under  middle-age,  well  groomed,  and 
with  quite  an  air  of  authority.  He  makes  a 
good  impression.  GORDON  follows  him  on, 
closing  the  door.] 

Ah —  my  wife. 

PATTERSON. 
[Coming  to  DULCY.] 

How  do  you  do,  Mrs.  Smith  ?  I  must  apolo 
gize  for  calling  at  this  hour.  My  name  is  Patter 
son — Blair  Patterson. 

GORDON. 

Oh,  the  attorney! 

PATTERSON. 
Yes.     I  was  referred  to  you  by  Mrs.  Kennedy. 

DULCY. 
Oh,  across  the  street? 

PATTERSON. 

Ah — yes.  She  said  you  had — guests.  I  just 
wondered  if — among  them — there  is  a  Mr. — 
Morgan?  Can  you  tell  me? 

GORDON. 
Morgan?    Why,  no. 

DULCY. 

No. 

158 


DULCY 

PATTERSON. 
Well — is  there  a  Mr.  Ford? 

GORDON. 
No.    He's  not  here  either. 

PATTERSON. 
Mr.— Vanderbilt? 

GORDON. 

[Somewhat  flattered.] 
Vanderbilt?    No. 

PATTERSON. 
Mr. — Astor? 

GORDON. 

[More  flattered  and  somewhat  surprised.} 
No.     I  don't  understand. 

PATTERSON. 

H'm.  Well,  let  me  ask  you — is  one  of  your 
guests — tall,  good-looking,  plays  the  piano, 
interested  in  various — ah — investments ? 

DULCY. 

[Proudly.] 
Oh,  you  mean  Schuyler  Van  Dyck? 

PATTERSON. 
(Thoughtfully.)     Schuyler— Van  Dyck. 

DULCY. 
He 's  here. 

159 


DULCY 

PATTERSON. 
[Slowly.] 

Yes,  I  think  I  do  mean  Schuyler  Van  Dyck. 
I'm  his  cousin. 

[GORDON  and  DULCY  exclaim  cordially.] 
I — I've  come  for  him. 

DULCY. 

Come  for  him? 

PATTERSON. 

Yes.  His  real  name  is  Patterson — Horace 
Patterson.  He  has  an  hallucination  that  he's  a 
millionaire.  Goes  round  forming  big  com 
panies — .  But  I  assure  you  he's  perfectly 
harmless. 

[He  taps  his  head  significantly  as 

THE  CURTAIN  FALLS.] 


160 


ACT  III 

The  scene  is  the  same;  the  time  is  the  fol 
lowing  morning.  The  windows  are  open  and 
bright  morning  sunlight  is  pouring  into  the 
room. 

The  curtain  rises  on  a  bare  stage  and  after 
a  second  FORBES  comes  downstairs.  He  is 
utterly  broken.  After  throwing  a  hard  look 
toward  the  easy  chair  he  sits  stiff  and  up 
right  in  the  side  chair,  groaning  as  he  sits. 
He  takes  out  his  cigar  case;  it  is  empty;  with 
a  growl  he  rises  and  looks  in  humidor  on 
table.  There  is  nothing  there.  He  sits  again 
in  the  same  chair. 

STERRETT  comes  tripping  down  the  stairs. 

STERRETT. 
[Blithely.] 
Good  morning,  Chief! 

FORBES. 
Got  anything  to  smoke? 

STERRETT. 
Oh,  sure. 

[STERRETT  hauls  out  his  cigarette  case  and 
opens  it.] 

FORBES. 
I  meant  a  cigar. 

11  161 


DULCY 

STERRETT. 
Oh — just  a  minute. 

[He  goes  for  humidor.] 

FORBES. 

There's  none  there.     None  any  place.     Mrs. 
Smith  probably  discovered  that  I  like  cigars. 

STERRETT. 
Haven't  you  any  in  your  room? 

FORBES. 

Yes,  but — ah — I  don't  want  to  disturb  Mrs. 
Forbes. 

STERRETT. 
Oh,  I  thought  you  had  separate  rooms. 

FORBES. 
[Viciously.] 
No.     We  have  the  bridal  suite. 

STERRETT. 

Well,  Mrs.  Forbes  must  be  up  by  this  time. 
Why  don't  you  go  up  and— 

FORBES. 
[Rising.] 
Sterrett. 

STERRETT. 

Yes,  Chief. 

162 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

I  don't  want  this  to  go  any  further — but  I  did 
not  sleep  in  the  bridal  suite  last  night.  I— 
took  a  walk  until  rather  late  and  when  I  re 
turned  everyone  had  gone  to  bed.  I  didn't 
know  just  which  rooms  were  unoccupied,  so  I 
slept  on  a  couch  in  the  hall. 

STERRETT. 
All  night? 

FORBES. 

Now  and  then.  I  tiptoed  into  my  room 
about  four  o'clock  this  morning  to  get  this— 

[Indicating  his  business  suit.] 
Did  you  ever  try  to  get  a  suit  of  clothes  out  of 
a  closet  in  the  dark,  without  making  any  noise? 

STERRETT. 
Why,  no. 

FORBES. 

[Putting  hand  to  his  head.] 
Oh,  dear. 

STERRETT. 
You're  not  ill,  Chief? 

FORBES. 
[Sitting.] 

I  wouldn't  be  surprised.  It  would  be  too 
much  to  expect  to  get  out  of  this  with  just  a 
mental  breakdown,  and  a  celluloid  son-in-law. 

163 


DULCY 

STERRETT. 
Nothing  new  on — the  necklace,  I  suppose? 

FORBES. 

Oh,    yes.     It    was   brought   back   and    I'm 
wearing  it. 

STERRETT. 
You're  what? 

FORBES. 
Don't  you  see  it? 

[..STERRETT  makes  a  weak  attempt  at  a 
laugh.] 

STERRETT. 

Oh,  Chief — Chief — you  certainly  have  a  sense 
of  humor. 

FORBES. 
[Grimly.] 

Yes,  and  at  this  time  of  the  morning  I'm  at 
my  best. 

STERRETT. 
But — ah — I  meant  the  police. 

FORBES. 
Huh? 

STERRETT. 
The  police  were  sent  for,  weren't  they? 

FORBES. 

Probably.     I  asked  Mrs.  Smith  not  to  send 
for  them,  so  I  suppose  she  did. 

164 


DULCY 

STERRETT. 
Well,  if  I  were  you,  I'd  put  them  right  on  it. 

FORBES. 

It  may  seem  impossible  to  you,  Sterrett,  but 
there  are  times  when  it  does  not  pay  to  advertise. 
You  may  recall  that  my  daughter  eloped  last 
night. 

STERRETT. 

It  has  been  a  very  painful  experience  for  me, 
Chief. 

FORBES. 

Well,  damn  it,  you  don't  think  it's  been  any 
diversion  for  me  ? 

STERRETT. 
[Hastily.} 
Oh,  of  course  not. 

[Trying  to  say  something  comforting.} 
As  her  father  I  can  keenly  appreciate  how 
you're  going  to  suffer. 

FORBES. 

[Giving  him  a  look.] 

Thank  you.  The  reason  I  don't  want  the 
police  sent  for  is  that  I'm  not  anxious  to  have 
my  daughter's  elopement  become  public. 

STERRETT. 
Oh! 

165 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

I  can  see  the  newspaper  headlines  now. 
"Daughter  of  C.  Rogers  Forbes  Elopes  With 
Nut." 

[A  pause.] 
I'm  going  to  have  it  annulled — quietly. 

STERRETT. 
[An  idea  dawning.] 
Maybe  they  didn't  get  married! 

FORBES. 

What? 

STERRETT. 

Maybe  they're  not  married  yet!  They 
couldn't  get  a  license  last  night!  I'll  tele 
phone 

FORBES. 

They  made  special  arrangements  to  get  a 
license.  Mrs.  Smith's  brother  saw  to  that. 
H'm.  I  rather  liked  him.  I  wondered  what 
he'd  do. 

STERRETT. 
I  never  trusted  him. 

FORBES. 

And  on  top  of  everything  else,  the  third 
member  of  the  family  gets  the  Van  Dyck  money 
behind  him  and  practically  tells  me  to  go  to 
hell. 

166 


DULCY 

STERRETT. 

Certainly  is  an  unlucky  house.     What  time 
are  we  going  back  to  town? 

[Gordon  comes  downstairs.] 

FORBES. 
Just  as  soon  as  possible. 

GORDON. 

[Who  hasn't  slept  either.] 
[Meekly.] 
Good  morning. 

STERRETT. 

[Right  back  at  him.] 
Good  morning. 

FORBES. 

[After  hesitating.] 
Good  morning. 
[Looks  away.] 

GORDON. 

Breakfast  will  be  ready  in  a  minute,  if  the 
cook  is  still  here. 

[GORDON  goes  out,  FORBES  not  noticing 
he  has  left  the  room.] 

[MRS.  FORBES  comes  downstairs.] 

FORBES. 
Mr.  Smith— 
[Rises.] 

167 


DULCY 

After  taking  into  consideration  everything 
that  has  happened  here  since  my  arrival — 

[FORBES  turns  at  this  point  and  notices 
SMITH  is  not  in  the  room,  but  sees  MRS.  P.] 

MRS.  F. 

[To  Forbes.} 
Good  morning 

[Finishing  it  to  Sterrett.} 
Mr.  Sterrett. 

STERRETT. 
Good  morning,  Mrs.  Forbes. 

MRS.  F. 
Aren't  you — going  to  speak  to  me — Charlie? 

FORBES. 
I'm  speaking  to  no  one. 

[Enter  SMITH.] 

I  will  take  up  our  affairs  when  I  get  back  to 
the  city — if  I  ever  do. 
[He  sees  SMITH.] 
Oh,  Mr.  Smith,  I  was  about  to  say  when  you 

walked  away  a  minute  ago 

[DULCY  comes  downstairs.  She  is  wearing 
bright  sport  clothes  and  is  ready  for  a  busy 
day,  but  is  somewhat  subdued. [ 

DULCY. 

Good  morning,  everybody.  All  ready  for 
breakfast?  It's  a  lovely  day,  isn't  it?  Has 
anyone  been  out?  The  sun  is  shining;  it's  just 

168 


DULCY 

good  to  be  alive.     How  do  you  feel  this  morn 
ing,  Mrs.  Forbes? 

MRS.  F. 
I'm  rather  depressed. 

DULCY. 

Depressed?  Well,  you  mustn't  be.  I  have 
some  wonderful  news  for  you.  It's  a  surprise. 
Who  do  you  think  will  be  here  inside  an  hour  ? 

FORBES 
A  couple  dozen  reporters,  I  suppose. 

DULCY. 

[Almost  singing  it.] 
A  bridal  party. 

FORBES. 

So  they  are  married ! 

DULCY. 

Yes.  Willie  phoned  me  just  now.  He  said 
they  had  trouble  getting  in  touch  with  the 
license  clerk.  I  suppose  all  those  people  are 
like  policemen — when  you  want  one  you  never 
can  find  one.  Anyway,  they  got  him  up  at 
last  and  they  were  married  at  midnight. 

MRS.  F. 
[Romantically .  ] 
Midnight ! 

FORBES. 

By  a  Justice  of  the  Peace? 
169 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

No,  indeed.  By  Dr.  Carmichael — he's  one 
of  the  finest  ministers  in  West  Chester.  Willie 
knows  him  awfully  well,  so  I  suppose  he  did  it 
as  a  special  favor.  Wasn't  it  nice  of  him? 

FORBES. 
Yes,  I  appreciate  it. 

DULCY. 

So  now  you  have  a  genius  in  the  family, 
Mr.  Forbes. 

FORBES. 
Is  he  returning  the  car  ? 

DULCY. 

Oh,  of  course — they'll  be  here  any  minute 
now — the  happy  couple. 

FORBES. 
You  can  give  them — the  bridal  suite. 

DULCY. 

But  where  will  you  sleep  ? 

FORBES. 

I  shall  be  returning  to  town  as  soon  as  the 
car  arrives. 

[To  SMITH.] 

Mr.  Smith,  I  hope  we  can  have  a  little  talk 
before  I  go. 

SMITH. 
[Meekly.} 

Just  as  you  say,  Mr.  Forbes. 
170 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Now,  now,  no  business  before  breakfast. 
Come  along — let's  all  go  in  before  the  grape 
fruit  gets  cold. 

[She  returns  to  FORBES  and  takes  his  arm.} 

Mr.  Forbes.     You  come  in  with  me. 

FORBES. 

[Disengaging  himself.} 

No,   thank  you.        I'm    afraid  I    must    be 
excused.     I'm  not  very  hungry  this  morning. 
[He  goes  up  into  windows.} 

DULCY. 

[Feeling  the  rebuff} 

Mr.  Sterrett,  you'll  eat  some  breakfast,  won't 
you? 

STERRETT. 

[Always  willing} 
Why,  surely. 

[He  goes  to  door} 

MRS.  F. 

[Stepping  up  toward  her  husband} 
There  isn't — anything — the  matter,  is  there 
Charlie? 

FORBES. 

The  matter?  Oh,  no!  I'm  just  too  happy 
to  eat. 

[Exit  through  windows} 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Gordon,  darling,  you  must  eat  some 
breakfast.  Come  along. 

GORDON. 
Dulcy ,  will  you  go  ahead  and  leave  me  alone  ? 

DULCY. 

Mrs.  Forbes,  you'll  have  some  breakfast? 
(MRS.  FORBES  nods.)  Ah!  You  know,  I'm 
never  myself  until  I've  had  a  cup  of  coffee  in  the 
morning. 

[STERRETT  opens  the  door  for  them.] 
Of  course,  we're  all  depressed  now,  but  maybe 
after  breakfast  I'll  think  of  something  to  cheer 
us  up. 

[Exeunt  MRS.  F.,  DULCY  and  STERRETT.] 
[Enter,  downstairs,  BLAIR  PATTERSON.] 

PATTERSON. 
Good  morning,  Mr.  Smith. 

GORDON. 

Oh,  good  morning,  Mr.  Patterson.  You — 
slept  well,  I  trust. 

PATTERSON. 

Thank  you — yes. 

[Earnestly.] 
I'm  very  sorry  to  have  caused  you  this  trouble- 

GORDON. 
[Dejectedly] 

Oh,  that's  all  right.     Ready  for  breakfast? 
172 


DULCY 

PATTERSON. 

Thank  you.  I'll  take  Mr.  Patterson  home 
with  me  just  as  soon  as  he  can  get  his  things 
together. 

GORDON. 

There's  no  hurry — any  more.  Have  you — 
told  him? 

PATTERSON. 

No,  he  hasn't  seen  me  yet.  I'll  not  have  any 
difficulty;  it's  happened  before. 

GORDON. 
He's — a  cousin,  I  believe  you  said? 

PATTERSON. 

A  distant  cousin — it's  really  too  bad.  Bril 
liant  chap — agreeable — obliging 

GORDON. 
He  certainly  is. 

PATTERSON. 

Quite  all  right.  Lives  on  Long  Island  with 
his  mother  and  sister.  Just  this  one  hallu 
cination. 

GORDON. 
That's  all  he  has? 

PATTERSON. 

Oh,  yes.  Now  and  then  he  wanders  off  alone 
like  this,  but  happily  he  never  causes  any  real 
trouble. 

173 


DULCY 

GORDON. 
He  doesn't,  eh  ?     That's  fine. 

PATTERSON. 

It's  a  little  hard  on  me — being  compelled  to 
round  him  up  at  intervals.  I  have  to  divide  my 
activities  as  a  lawyer  with  those  of  a  truant 
officer. 

GORDON. 
Yes,  it  must  be  hard  on  you. 

PATTERSON. 

[Looking  about  and  approaching  SMITH.] 
Ah — if  I  might  ask  a  small  favor? 

GORDON. 
Certainly. 

PATTERSON. 

I  hope  none  of  your  gu<  fcts  has  learned  about 
my  cousin's — weakness? 

GORDON. 
I  don't  think  so. 

[With  a  look  toward  the  windows.] 
I  hope  not. 

PATTERSON. 

If  I  may  suggest  it,  it  might  be  better  to  wait 
until  I've  taken  him  home,  in  case  you  wish  to 
explain  to  anyone.    It  will  save  embarrassment. 
[VAN  DYCK  comes  downstairs.] 

GORDON. 
I  won't  say  anything. 

174 


DULCY 

PATTERSON. 
Thank  you. 

VAN  DYCK. 
[Noticing  SMITH  only.] 
Good  morning. 

GORDON. 

Good  morning. 

[He  indicates  PATTERSON.] 
Here's  a — friend  of  yours. 

[Exit  SMITH  through  windows.} 

PATTERSON. 
[Turning.] 
Hello,  Horace. 

VAN  DYCK 

Blair!     Why,    what   in   the   world   are   you 
doing  here? 

PATTERSON. 
Oh,  just  dropped  in  to  say  hello. 

VAN  DYCK. 

You  can't  fool  me.     You've  come  to  make 
me  leave — that's  what  you've  done. 

PATTERSON. 
Oh,  no — that  is — unless  you  really  want  to. 

VAN  DYCK. 
[Aggrieved] 
It's  very — embarrassing. 

175 


DULCY 

PATTERSON. 
[Annoyed.} 

Well,  if  it's  embarrassing  for  you,  what  do 
you  think  it  is  for  me?  I've  a  law  practice  to 
attend  to.  I'm  getting  a  little  tired  of — these 
— excursions. 

VAN  DYCK. 

Well,  I  wish  you'd  leave  me  alone.  At  least 
a  half  a  dozen  times  during  the  past  few  years 
you've  interrupted  me  in  business  negotiations 
that  were  exceedingly  interesting. 

PATTERSON. 
[Suddenly  suspicious] 

Have  you  been — putting  through — some 
thing — here  ? 

VAN  DYCK. 

Well,  yes —  I've  been  representing  my  Van 
Dyck  interests.  We  had  all  sorts  of  wonderful 
things  planned.  My  share  alone  would  have 
been  eight  and  a  half  millions.  Besides,  we  were 
going  to  play  golf. 

PATTERSON. 

Horace,  haven't  I  told  you  repeatedly  that  / 
represent  the  Van  Dyck  interests?  Now,  you 
must  let  me  handle  it.  You  come  back  to 
town  with  me  and  we'll  talk  it  over. 

VAN  DYCK. 
[Protesting] 

But  I  can't  leave  now.     If  I  do 

176 


DULCY 

PATTERSON. 

I'm  sorry,  Horace,  but  you  know  our  agree 
ment.  Unless  you  do  as  I  say,  I'll  never  go 
throught  with  that  two  hundred  million  dollar 
aeroplane  company  of  ours. 

VAN  DYCK 

[Appeased  and  smiling.] 
Oh,  all  right. 

[Enter  DULCY.  Coming  face  to  face  with 
VAN  DYCK,  she  is  very  startled  and  uncer 
tain  how  to  greet  him.} 

DULCY. 
Oh,  good  morning. 

[Timorously} 
How  do  you — feel  this  morning? 

VAN  DYCK. 
Very  melancholy. 

[DULCY  sidles  away  from  him} 
I'm  afraid  I  must  go  back  to  town. 

DULCY. 

Ah ! 

VAN  DYCK. 
You  don't  know  how  I  wish  I  could  stay. 

DULCY. 

Ah  .  .  .  !  Well,  that's  too  bad.  Still, 
it's  all  for  the  best.  You — you  must  have  some 
breakfast  first. 

177 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 
Oh,  thank  you. 

DULCY. 

(In  a  whisper  to  PATTERSON.)     He  can  eat 
breakfast,  can't  he? 
[Enter  SMITH.] 

PATTERSON. 
Oh,  yes. 

VAN  DYCK. 
I  hope  we're  not  the  last. 

DULCY. 

Oh,  that's  all  right.  The  last  shall  be  first 
and — everything. 

[Exit  VAN  DYCK.] 
[To  PATTERSON.] 

I  had  some  soft  boiled  eggs  prepared  for  him, 
and  some  soft  milk  toast — all  very  soft,  you 
know.  Is  that  all  right? 

[PATTERSON,  with  a  nod,  exits.     DULCY 
is  about  to  follow.] 

GORDON. 
[Sharply.] 
'  Dulcy! 

DULCY. 

[Turning  nervously.] 
Yes — dear. 

GORDON. 
[Very  seriously.] 
Dulcy,  come  here,  please. _ 
178 


DULCY:  "HE  CAN  EAT  BREAKFAST,  CAN-T  HE  ?  ••— (Act  j) 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

[Prattling  on  to  cover  her  nervousness] 
I — I  was  just  seeing  about  Mr.  Van  Dyck's 
breakfast — Mr. — Mr.      Patterson's — I     mean. 
He's — he's  all  right,  really.     I  mean,  of  course, 
he  isn't — exactly  all  right,   but  he's — he's  all 
right  for — for  what  he  is — and — I  mean — every 
thing  could  be  much  worse — couldn't  it,  darling? 
[She  finishes    rather    weakly,    going    to 
GORDON.] 

GORDON. 

Dulcy — do  you  realize — exactly  what  has 
happened  ? 

DULCY. 

Well,  I— I  don't  know— I  think  so.  Oh, 
Gordie,  I  didn't  mean  to— 

GORDON. 

[Simply  and  kindly.] 
You  must  listen  quietly,  dear,  until  I  finish. 

DULCY. 

[Momentarily  subdued.] 
Yes,  darling. 

GORDON. 

The  time  has  come  when — I  must  speak — 
frankly. 

[A  pause.] 

Do  you  know  what  Mr.  Forbes  is  going  to 
say  to  me,  when  he  learns  who  Van  Dyck  really 
is? 

179 


DULCY 

[DULCY  shakes  her  head;  she  cannot  speak 
at  the  moment.] 

He  is  going  to  tell  me  that  my  factory  and 
my  services  are  of  no  use  to  him.  Mr.  Forbes 
thinks — that  he  has  been  made  a  fool  of,  and 
— he's  right.  Our  future  success — depended 
entirely  on  him. 

DULCY. 

But — but — we  haven't  really  done  anything 
to  him.  Just  because  we — we  asked  for  more. 

GORDON. 
It  wasn't — our  asking  for  more. 

DULCY. 
Oh,  you  mean  the  elopement? 

[She  considers.] 
He  doesn't  like  pictures.        , 

GORDON. 
That  was  the  crowning  mistake. 

DULCY. 

It  was  me  again.     It  was  me  as  usual.     Oh, 
dear — how  will  it  all  end ! 
[She  sits  on  sofa.] 

GORDON. 
[Slowly.] 

Forbes  will  probably  force  me  out  of  business. 
Then  I'll  have  to  start  in  all  over  again 

without 

[He  glances  around  room.] 
Without— this. 

180 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

[Forcing  herself  to  say  it.] 
And  without  me? 

GORDON. 

[Dispassionately.  ] 

Dulcy,  I  love  you.  I  shall  always  love  you. 
I  don't  know  whether  it's  because  you  have 
the  soul  of  a  child,  or  in  spite  of  the  fact  that  you 
act  like  one. 

[He  turns  away.] 

I  don't  know  what  the  future  is  going  to  do 
to  us.  You  mean  well,  but  you  just  don't  stop 
to  think. 

DULCY. 
I  guess,  I  don't  think — I  just  think  I  think. 

[Rising  and  speaking  bravely.] 
I'll  let  you  go,  darling — if  you  want  me  to. 
I'm  just — all  wrong.  I'm — a  false  note.  I 
always  wondered  how  I'd  be  able  to  make  a  man 
like  you  care  for  me — it  seems  so  absurd  for  a 
man  like  you  ever  to  love — a  false  note.  And 
now — we're  finding  out — he  can't. 

GORDON. 

[Carried  away  for  a  second.] 
Dulcy,   we  can't  end  everything  like  this! 
You're  not  a  false  note — you're  a  melody — a 
whole  tune. 

[A    pause.      He   reverts   to   his  previous 
mood.] 

But  I  don't  know  what  to  do. 
181 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

[Sadly.] 

I  don't  think  I  can  reform. 

GORDON. 
No — I  suppose  not. 

DULCY. 

[A  bit  hopefully.] 

I  could  make  out  a  kind  of  budget  of  things 
not  to  do — you  know,  like  the  one  we  did  for 
the  household  expenses. 

GORDON. 
I'm  afraid — that  wouldn't  do  much  good. 

DULCY. 

[Realizing  that  it's  old  stuff  but  hopefully 
trying  it  anyhow.] 

I  could  make  another  promise.  One  that 
would  take  in  everything. 

GORDON. 
Oh,  I  know  you'd  try  to  keep  it,  but 

DULCY. 

[With  tears  in  her  voice.] 
Oh,  but  I  would  keep  this  one.     Dearest,  if 
you'll  let  me,  I'll  promise  that  I'll  never  inter 
fere  with  your  business  affairs  again. 

GORDON. 

But  you  practically  promised  that  once, 
and 

182 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

I  mean  in  any  way  whatever.  Inviting 
people  to  parties,  and  everything.  I'll — I'll 
revolutionize  myself. 

GORDON. 

[Turning  sharply.] 

Dulcy,  I  don't  want  you  to  change  yourself  a 
bit.  I  love  you  just  as  you  are. 

[With  desperate  earnestness.] 
I  simply  want  you  to  let  me  handle  my  own 
affairs.     Promise    me    that    you    won't    even 
suggest  helping  me  in  business. 

DULCY. 
[Hysterically.] 
All  right,  I'll  promise!    Andl'llkeepit!    I  will! 

GORDON. 

[Embracing  her.] 
I'm  sure  you  will! 

DULCY. 

I  will,  I  will !  And  furthermore,  I'll  do  every 
thing  in  my  power  to  repair  the  damage  I '  ve  done. 

GORDON. 

[Thoroughly  frightened.] 
Repair  it  ? 

DULCY. 

Yes — about  Mr.  Forbes.  I'll  go  to  him  and 
tell  him  how  sorry  I  am,  and  see  if  there  isn't 

something  I  can  do 

[Forbes  comes  striding  in  through  windows.] 

183 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

I  beg  your  pardon,  but  it  is  extremely  neces 
sary  that  I  get  back  to  town  immediately.  Can 
I  get  a  car  anywhere  in  the  village  ? 

GORDON. 

Oh,  but,  surely — you're  not  going  before  we 
have  our  little  talk? 

FORBES. 
I  regret  that  I  must. 

GORDON. 

[Evidently  conspiring  to  keep  him  there.] 
But — I'm  afraid  you  can't  get  in — this  morn 
ing.     There  are  no  cars  to  be  had  out  there — 
so,  if  you'll  just  make  yourself  comfortable 

DULCY. 

[Spilling  the  beans.] 
Oh,  yes,  he  can  get  a  car,  darling 

[Starting  off.] 

He  can  get  one  right  away.  I'll  phone  Kelly. 
Kelly  always  has  a  car. 

GORDON. 
[Following  her.] 
But,  Dulcy 

FORBES. 
Thank  you  very  much,  Mrs.  Smith. 

GORDON. 
But,  Dulcy— Dulcy— 

[Turning  back  to  Forbes  hastily.] 
184 


DULCY 

I'll  be  back.     Dulcy! 

[Exeunt  DULCY  and  GORDON.] 
[After  a  pause,    FORBES   takes  a  turn, 
automatically  reaching  for  his  cigar    case, 
which  he  opens  and  finds  empty.} 
[Enter  BLAIR  PATTERSON.] 

FORBES. 
Why,  Mr.  Patterson— 

PATTERSON. 
Oh,  it's— ah— 

FORBES. 
Forbes.     C.  Roger  Forbes. 

PATTERSON. 
Oh,  of  course. 

[He  shakes  his  hand.] 

FORBES. 

[Puzzled  and  suspicious.} 
I — ah — I  didn't  know  you  were  a  friend  of 
Mr.  Smith's? 

PATTERSON. 
Well — ah — no — that  is,  yes — I 


FORBES. 
H'm.     Came  down — this  morning,  did  you? 

PATTERSON. 

Ah — yes,    yes.      Just — got    in.       Beautiful 
country. 

185 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

Isn't  it? 

[A  pause.] 

The  Van  Dyck  interests  seem  to  keep  you 
quite  busy. 

PATTERSON. 

Ah — yes,  yes. 

FORBES. 

I  was  just — wondering  what  had  brought  you, 
and 

PATTERSON. 
[In  a  corner.] 
Yes. 

FORBES. 
H'm. 

[Lightly.] 

Must  be — something  pretty  important — for 
him  to  send  for  you  at — this  hour? 

PATTERSON. 
Well,  ah — just  a  little  matter  of  business, 

which  he  thought — advisable 

[He  finishes  with  a  cough.] 

FORBES. 

I  see.  What  I  was  about  to  say  was — of 
course,  I  don't  know  just  what  Mr.  Van  Dyck  is 
thinking  of  going  into,  but — ah — if  I  had  a 
client  who  was — thinking  of  going  into  it,  why, 
I'd  look  into  it  pretty  thoroughly  myself.  Now 

I  can  give  you  a  good  deal  of  facts  about 

[Enter  STERRETT  and  VAN  DYCK.] 
1 86 


DULCY 

STERRETT. 
[As  they  enter.} 
Well,  that's  certainly  very  interesting  to  me. 

VAN  DYCK. 
Yes,  I — I  hoped  that  it  would  be. 

STERRETT. 

Well,  Mr.  Forbes,  if  you  want  me  to  handle 
your  advertising  after  this  you'll  have  to  bring 
it  to  a  different  office. 

PATTERSON. 
[Suddenly  suspicious.} 
What  was  that? 

STERRETT. 

I've  just  fixed  up  a  little  deal  with  Mr.  Van 
Dyck.  I'm  to  head  his  new  advertising  agency ! 

FORBES. 
You  don't  say  so? 

PATTERSON. 

[With  a  side  glance  at  VAN  DYCK.] 
Well! 

FORBES. 

That's  splendid!  Anyone  who  can  join 
hands  with  Mr.  Van  Dyck  is  a  very  fortunate 
person. 

PATTERSON. 

Ah — would  you  care  to  finish  your  packing, 
Mr.  Van  Dyck? 

187 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 

All  right,  Blair.     In  a  minute. 

PATTERSON. 

[Going  up  to  foot  of  staircase.] 
Well,  whenever  you're  ready — Schuyler. 

[This    informality    of    address    registers 
strongly  with  Forbes.] 

FORBES. 

Ah — now  that  we've  met,  Mr.  Van  Dyck,  I 
hope  we  can  see  something  of  each  other  in 
town. 

VAN  DYCK. 

I  trust  so.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  there  are 
several  things  I  would  be  interested  in  going  over 
with  you. 

FORBES. 
[Eagerly.] 
That  so  ?     What  are  they  ? 

PATTERSON. 
[Warningly.] 

Ah — don't  forget — Schuyler — your  pack 
ing 

VAN  DYCK. 
[Airily.] 
Oh,  that's  all  right,  Blair. 

FORBES. 
You  were  saying,  Mr.  Van  Dyck 

188 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 
Well,  it  just  occurred  to  me  that  we  might 


have  interests  which — ah- 


FORBES. 

Yes? 

VAN  DYCK. 
Which  we  might  pool  to  advantage. 

FORBES. 

Indeed,  yes.  Something  of  that  kind  has 
been  in  my  mind  for  a  long  time.  Of  course  I 
hesitated  to  suggest  it  to  you. 

PATTERSON. 
Don't  you  think  that  we'd  better  be 

STERRETT. 

Now,  there's  something  I'd  like  to  ask  you, 
Mr.  Van  Dyck — and  I  hope  you  won't  mind 
my — presuming.  Ah — do  you — that  is,  what  is 
your  attitude — just  at  present — on  the  market  ? 

Do  you  look  for  further  declines,  or 

[He  pauses.] 

VAN  DYCK. 
[Importantly.] 
No,  sir. 

FORBES. 
Ah! 

STERRETT. 

That's  very  interesting. 
189 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 

As  a  matter  of  fact,  I  look  for  a  sharp  rise 
throughout  the  list. 

FORBES. 
Indeed? 

STERRETT. 
What  do  you  base  that  on,  Mr.  Van  Dyck? 

[Quickly.] 
If  I  may  ask? 

PATTERSON. 

I  hardly  think  you  have  time  to  go  into  that 
now,  Schuyler 

VAN  DYCK. 
It'll  just  take  a  second. 

\Pompously.] 

The  reason  that  I  look  for  a  rising  market, 
Mr.  Forbes — is 

FORBES. 

Yes? 

VAN  DYCK. 
Is  that  a  war  with  Spain  is  now  inevitable ! 

FORBES. 
A  war  with — Spain  ? 

VAN  DYCK. 
Exactly. 

PATTERSON. 

Schuyler ! 

190 


DULCY 

STERRETT. 
A  war  between — Spain  and — this  country  ? 

VAN  DYCK. 

Oh,  no!  That's  it,  exactly.  Spain  and — 
Abyssinia ! 

FORBES. 
What's  that? 

STERRETT. 
But  I  don't— 

PATTERSON. 

[Reaching  across  STERRETT  and  leading 
VAN  DYCK  away.] 

Come,  come.  I  really  must  get  back  to 
town,  Mr.  Van  Dyck.  There's  a  train  that  goes 
almost  immediately. 

[To  VAN  DYCK  confidentially.] 
It's  a  matter  of  two  hundred  millions. 

[STERRETT  and  FORBES  exchange  a  glance.] 
Sorry  to  take  Mr.  Van  Dyck  away  from  you, 
Mr.  Forbes — Mr.  Sterrett — but  you  know  how 
it  is.     We'll  see  you  presently. 

FORBES. 

Certainly. 

PATTERSON. 
Come  along,  Schuyler. 

[He  starts  up  with  VAN  DYCK.] 

STERRETT. 
[Following.] 

Mr.  Patterson,  you  don't  mind  if  I  go  up— 
along  with  Mr.  Van  Dyck,  do  you? 

191 


DULCY 

VAN  DYCK. 
[Turning  back  to  him.] 

Come  right  along,  Mr.  Sterrett.     I  haven't 
finished  with  you  yet. 

[Patterson  is  now  on  the  platform .    The  other 
two  work  their  way  up  the  stairs  as  they  speak.] 

STERRETT. 

No,  I  didn't  think  you  had.     Now,  if  that 
April  1st  date  is  O.  K.  with  you 

VAN  DYCK. 

Yes,  and  I'll  tell  you  what  else  you  can  do 
for  me.     I  have  some  copper  interests  out  in 

Montana 

[Exeunt  upstairs  VAN  DYCK,  STERRETT 
and  PATTERSON.    FORBES  follows  up  to  foot 
of  stairs,  looking  after  them.] 
[Enter  MRS.  FORBES.] 

MRS.  F. 
Oh— Charlie 

FORBES. 
Oh,  it's  you. 

MRS.  F. 

[Approaching  a  step.] 
Charlie,  it  wasn't  my  fault — Angela,  I  mean. 

[Forbes  listens  in  stony  silence.] 
Honestly  it  wasn't,  Charlie. 

[She  makes  up  her  mind  to  stretch  the  truth 
just  a  little.] 

I  didn't  know  anything  about  it  until  after 
they'd  eloped.     Really  I  didn't ! 

192 


DULCY 

FORBES. 
Well,  I — I've  no  wish  to  be  unjust,  Eleanor. 

MRS.  F. 
Then  you'll — forgive  me? 

FORBES. 

You — you're  telling  me  the  truth?  You 
didn't  know  anything  about  the  elopement 
until — 

MRS.  F. 

Until  after  Mrs.  Smith  told  me. 

FORBES. 
That  woman ! 

MRS.  F. 

Then  you  will — take  me  back  ? 

[FORBES  looks  at  her,  pinches  her  cheeks, 
then  embraces  her  awkwardly.] 

FORBES. 

Eleanor,  dear — my  little  widgie! 

MRS.  F. 

[Sinking  into  his  embrace.] 
Oh,  Charlie,  I'm  so  happy! 

FORBES. 
My  dear,  this  has  been  a  most  unfortunate 

visit. 

MRS.  F. 
Yes,  dearest. 

13  193 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

But  it  has  done — one  thing  for  me.  I  didn't 
know  until  I  saw  you  with  Mr.  Van  Dyck  how 
much  I  really  cared  for  you. 

MRS.  F. 
Oh,  Charlie — do  you  honestly  ?  Say  it  again ! 

FORBES. 
I  was  actually — jealous. 

MRS.  F. 

[Embracing  him.] 
Charlie — how  wonderful ! 
I'll  never  talk  to  Mr.  Van  Dyck  again,  and 
I'll  even  give  up  the  Smiths  if  you  insist. 

FORBES. 
[Quickly.] 

Oh,  no,  no,  no.  You  must  stay  friendly  with 
the  Smiths  no  matter  what  happens.  Smith's 
factory  equipment  couldn't  be  duplicated  right 
now  for  any  amount.  I've  got  to  have  it. 

MRS.  F. 
But,  Charlie— 

FORBES. 
Now  don't  go  and  tell  him. 

MRS.  F. 
Oh,  1  wouldn't. 

FORBES. 

I  just  wanted  to  be  sure. 
[Enter  DULCY.] 

194 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

Oh,  Mr.  Forbes,  they  haven't  any  auto 
mobiles — just  now.  They  said — maybe  they'd 
have  one  later. 

FORBES. 

Tomorrow,  perhaps? 

DULCY. 
Oh,  Mr.  Forbes — I'm  sorry 

[She  pauses  a  second.] 
Sorry  about — the  elopement,  I  mean 

[There  is  no  response  from  FORBES.] 
And  everything. 

FORBES. 
[Annoyed.] 
It's  quite  all  right,  Mrs.  Smith — quite  all  right. 

DULCY. 

And  I'm  sorry  about  the  business  deal,  too. 
But  it's  going  to  come  out  all  right. 

FORBES. 
What's  that? 

DULCY. 

I  say  the  business  deal  between  you  and 
Gordie  is  going  to  come  out  all  right. 

FORBES 
Oh,  is  it? 

DULCY 

Yes.  Gordie  will  go  in  with  you  after  all.  Be 
cause  Mr.  Van  Dyck  isn't  Mr.  Van  Dyck  at  all. 

195 


DULCY 

MRS.  F. 

What? 

FORBES. 

What's  that? 

DULCY. 

No — he  has  something  wrong  up  here. 

[She  taps  her  head.] 
He  only  thinks  he's  a  millionaire. 

MRS.  F. 
Good  heavens ! 

FORBES. 
[Keeping  calm.] 

Oh — so   Mr.    Van   Dyck  is — not   Mr.    Van 
Dyck! 

DULCY. 

No. 

FORBES. 
I  see. 

DULCY. 

[After  a  pause.] 
So  everything's  all  right  now,  isn't  it? 

FORBES. 
Oh,  yes.     Splendid! 

DULCY. 

And  it's  all  right   between   you   and   Mrs. 
Forbes,  too? 

196 


DULCY 

[MRS.  F.  smilingly  puts  her  arm  around 
him.  He  smiles  at  her.  DULCY  gurgles 
with  joy.} 

Ah — !     H'm — !     It    was    sweet    of    you    to 
forgive  her  for  helping  with  the  elopement. 

MRS.  F. 

[Drawing     back     with     an     involuntary 
exclamation.} 
Oh! 

FORBES. 

For — helping  with  the  elopement ! 

[To  his  wife.] 

Then  you — did  know  about  it?     You  helped! 
[He  turns  to  DULCY  who  has  crept  a  jew 
steps  away,  as  if  to  escape.} 
Did  she? 

[Enter  GORDON.  DULCY  sees  escape  is 
hopeless} 

DULCY. 
I— I 

FORBES. 
[To  MRS.  F.] 
And  you  told  me  you  didn't ! 

MRS.  F. 
[Sobbing} 

Oh,  Charlie,   Charlie— I  didn't  very  much! 
And  I  was  sorry  I  did,  right  away. 

[She  tries  to  embrace  him;  he  puts  her  off.} 
197 


DULCY 

FORBES. 
I  don't  care  to  hear  anything  about  it ! 

MRS.  F. 
Oh,  but  Charlie— 

DULCY. 

Ah!    Ah! 

I  She  crosses  to  her.] 
There!  there! 

MRS.  F. 
I  feel  faint. 

DULCY. 

She  feels  faint!  Come  out  into  the  garden 
and  get  some  fresh  air. 

[Leading  her  up  into  windows  and  out.} 
Breathe   deeply,  dear.     Ten  times.     One — 

two — three 

[They  are  out  of  sight  and  hearing.} 

GORDON. 

I'm  sorry.  Sorrier  than  I  can  tell  you — 
about  all  of  it. 

FORBES. 

(After  a  pause.)  Oh,  Mr.  Smith — I've  just 
been  hearing  something  from  Mrs.  Smith  about 
Mr.  Van  Dyck. 

GORDON. 
[Scared.} 
You — have  ? 

FORBES. 
Yes. 

198 


DULCY 

GORDON. 

[He  grits  his  teeth.] 
Well,  then  of  course  you  know  that — 

FORBES. 

Yes,  I  know.    (A  pause.)    But  it  won't  work, 
Mr.  Smith. 

GORDON. 

What's  that? 

FORBES. 

I'll  admit  that  Mrs.  Smith  is  a  clever  woman 
— a  very  clever  woman. 

[Smith  looks  at  him  wonderingly.] 
But  it  won't  work. 

[A  pause.] 
Van  Dyck  not  Van  Dyck.     Hah ! 

[Smith  laughs  nervously.] 
I  might  have  believed  it — if  I  hadn't  hap 
pened  to  meet  Blair  Patterson  down  here.  No, 
Mr.  Smith!  I  know  Patterson,  and  I  know 
that  he  represents  the  Van  Dyck  interests.  A 
man  like  Patterson  doesn't  suddenly  pop  up  in 
Westchester  to  talk  business  with  a  man  with 
hallucinations ! 

GORDON. 

[Not  knowing  just  what  to  do.] 
Oh !    Well,  of  course  you  know— 

FORBES. 

You  bet  I  do!     I  saw  it  all!     You  began  to 
be  sorry  you'd  told  me  about  the  Van  Dyck 

199 


DULCY 

merger,  and  wanted  to  throw  me  off  the  trail— 
eh?  Well,  you  can't  do  it.  I  know  what's  in 
the  wind,  and  I'm  going  to  hold  you  to  your 
agreement. 

GORDON. 

Agreement  ? 

FORBES. 

Well,  it  was  a  verbal  agreement.  As  a  gentle 
man  you  agreed  to  come  in  with  me  and  take 
1 6  two-thirds  per  cent,  and  you've  got  to  do  it. 

GORDON. 

[Having  difficulty  in  not  betraying  himself.] 
But,  Mr.  Forbes— 

FORBES. 

You've  not  signed  anything  with  Van  Dyck 
yet  and  it  was  just  as  good  as  settled  with  me. 
Now,  if  you  don't 

[ANGELA  bursts  through  the  windows — 
still  in  her  evening  dress] 

[MRS.  FORBES  and  DULCY  follow  her  on] 

ANGELA. 

Father! 

DULCY. 
Well,  here  she  is ! 

FORBES. 
Angela ! 

MRS.  F. 

[Quaveringly,  her  hands  on  Angela's  arms] 
Angela,  oh  Angela ! 

200 


DULCY 

ANGELA. 
Oh,  mother — father! 

DULCY. 

[Expectantly,  as  though  awaiting  a  speech 
of  forgiveness  from  FORBES.] 
Well—? 

FORBES. 

[As   all   eyes   go   towards   him — a   short 
pause.] 
Are  you — married  ? 

ANGELA. 
Yes,  father. 

MRS.  F. 
Oh,  she's  married! 

[She  takes  ANGELA  into  her  arms.] 

DULCY. 

She's  married ! 

FORBES. 
Well — where  is  your  husband? 

[ANGELA  looks  up  at  him,  then  buriec  her 
face  in  her  mother's  shoulder.] 
Answer  me,  Angela! 

[Enter  BILL.     He  still  wears  his  dinner 
clothes.] 

BILL. 

[Quietly.] 

Good  morning,  everybody. 
201 


[Casually. 
Hello,  Bill. 


DULCY 
GORDON. 


DULCY. 

[Carelessly.] 
Oh,  hello,  Willie. 

FORBES. 
Where  is  Leach? 

ANGELA. 

[With  a  half  smile.] 
I  don't  know,  father. 

FORBES. 
Yo  _ — don't  know  ? 

[To  BILL.] 
Well,  perhaps  you  can  tell  us ! 

BILL. 

[Shaking  his  head.] 
I'm  sorry. 

FORBES. 
Didn't  you  help  to  arrange  this  wedding? 

BILL. 
Why — yes. 

FORBES. 
Well,  don't  you  know  where  the  groom  is? 

BILL. 

Sure — I'm  the  groom. 
202 


DULCY 

FORBES. 
[Staggering,] 
You're — wh — wh — what's  that? 

DULCY. 
Gr-gr-groom — Willie ! 

GORDON. 

What? 

MRS.  F. 

Why — why — Angela 

[They  all  come  together — there  is  a  burst  of 
excitement.  MRS.  F.  embraces  ANGELA 
again,  DULCY  embraces  WILLIE.  FORBES 
and  SMITH  exchange  looks.  Slowly  the 
excitement  dies  down.] 

DULCY. 

Well — well,  tell  us  about  it!     Good  heavens! 
Willie!    Just  think! 

ANGELA. 

[Breaking  from  her  mother's  embrace.] 
It  was  just  the  most  romantic  thing  that  ever 
happened    in    the    world!     William — William 
just  kidnapped  me,  that's  all!    Oh,  William! 

[She  goes  into  his  arms.  DULCY  laughs 
ecstatically.] 

FORBES. 
(To  BILL.)     Are  you  a — genius? 

BILL. 

I  should  say  not. 

[They  shake  hands.] 
203 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

[To  FORBES.] 
He's  a  broker!     Isn't  it  wonderful? 

MRS.  F. 
Oh,  Charlie! 

GORDON. 

Well,  what  about  Leach — where  is  he? 

BILL. 
I  don't  know. 

DULCY. 

Don't  know? 

BILL. 

^  We  started  from  here  together  all  right  last 
night — but — ah — down  the  road  a  piece  I  sud 
denly  thought  my  tail-light  was  out.  Mr. 
Leach  was  kind  enough  to  get  out  and  see  that 
everything  was  all  right;  suddenly  the  darned 
thing  started.  I  tossed  his  suit-case  out  to  him 
— I  don't  think  you'll  ever  see  him  again. 

FORBES. 

[After  a  laugh — slapping  BILL'S  back.] 
You're  pretty  damn  clever. 

DULCY 
I  introduced    them! 

FORBES. 
[To  DULCY.] 

Oh,  so  this  was  what  you  were  working  for, 
underneath  that  Leach  business? 

204 


DULCY 

DULCY. 

[Suddenly  seeing  a  chance  to  claim  the 
credit.  ] 
Yes. 

[She  meets  BILL'S  eye.] 
And  no— 

[She  evades  the  issue.] 

You    don't    understand    women    very    well, 
Mr.  Forbes. 

[Enter  HENRY  with  the  morning  papers.} 

GORDON. 

[Taken  off  his  feet.] 
Henry ! 

HENRY. 

[As  though  it  were  all  part  of  his  duties.] 
Good  morning,  sir. 

DULCY. 
[To  GORDON.] 
Aren't  you  glad  he's  back? 

GORDON. 

But — but — what's  this  mean? 

DULCY. 

Oh,  I  forgot  to  tell  you.     Henry  had  to  go  to 
town  last  night— 

[She  lowers  her  voice.] 

You    know — to    report    to    the    Probation 
Officer.     Every  week. 

205 


DULCY 

GORDON. 
But — but — the  necklace? 

FORBES. 
Yes,  the  necklace. 

DULCY. 

Oh,  I  forgot  to  tell  you  that,  too.  Henry 
found  it  last  night  and  took  it  for  safe-keeping. 
He  gave  it  to  me  back  this  morning. 

SMITH. 
He  did? 

HENRY. 

Yes,  sir,  I  found  it  lying  about,  so  I  thought 
I'd  better  take  charge  of  it,  with  so  many  people 
in  the  house. 
[Exit.] 

DULCY. 

[She  goes  up  between  BILL  and  ANGELA, 
an  arm  around  each.] 

It's  upstairs  for  you,  Angie,  dear.  Think  of 
Angie  being  a  married  woman,  and  Willie  a 
married  man!  Now,  Mr.  Forbes,  you  know, 
1 6  two  thirds  per  cent  isn't  very  much — for  a 
relation,  a  brother-in-law. 

FORBES. 

Well,  I  wasn't  very  generous  about  that  deal 
of  ours,  or  very  just.  Smith 

GORDON. 
Yes,  sir. 

206 


DULCY 

FORBES. 

What  do  you  say  to  coming  in  with  me  for 
twenty  per  cent  ? 

DULCY. 

Twenty! 

FORBES. 

(A  nticipating  further  objections. )  Well ,  then , 
twenty-five. 

DULCY. 

Twenty-five ! 

GORDON. 

Dulcinea,  that  satisfies  me! 

DULCY. 
Does  it  ?     Well,  if  it  satisfies  Gordon— 

[She  turns  to  him.} 

I  didn't  mean  to  interfere,  dear.  I  never 
will  again.  You  can  rely  on  me.  A  burnt 
child  dreads  the  fire.  Once  bitten,— 

[Gordon  is  embracing  her  and  stops  her 
with  a  kiss,  as 

THE  CURTAIN  FALLS.] 


207 


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